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Thread: I asked her out, she couldnt go. She asked me out, I couldnt go. What now?

  1. #1
    PSAM_RST is offline PUA in Training
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    Default I asked her out, she couldnt go. She asked me out, I couldnt go. What now?

    Hi,

    I have been trying to get a girl out from work. We have been talking about doing a few things together for a while, i.e. drinks, food, etc.

    Have asked her several times but she came up with excuses but suggested she still wanted to go out. Anyway, she actually asks me to go out for drinks with her last weekend, but I couldn't this time (sods law!!!), as I was away.

    My question is: 'do I just leave it and wait for her to ask me out again or do I now ask her out again, as she has shown more serious interest in going out with me for drinks???'

    Your input/feedback is appreciated.

    Cheers
    "Named must your fear be before banish it you can."

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: I asked her out, she couldnt go. She asked me out, I couldnt go. What n

    I've always been a firm believer that most people would act a certain way if they felt a certain way. If a woman was really interested and your game allowed her to feel like she could be open with her interest in you then she could even cancel her original plans to see you. So this dancing back and forth can become a problem if continued.

    It's a possibility that she doesn't see time spent with you is that valuable. It may be one of those things where if she is doing absolutely nothing THEN she would be willing to meet up. And thats a low set bar. You have to make her see that spending time with you would be more valuable than anything else she is doing.

    Also it could just be plain logistics and if it's not an ongoing thing then you shouldn't punish her for it. Just be careful that it doesn't become a habit.

    So I think you should contact her. Find out her schedule and create a solid meet up date 3-4 days in advance. But before you do this you may want to build up some more comfort, rapport, maybe even attraction, etc. Your main goal is to reach a level where you two have a genuine connection and that you make her feel special. Go figure lol.

  3. #3
    PSAM_RST is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I asked her out, she couldnt go. She asked me out, I couldnt go. What n

    Hi Batman,

    Thanks again for your reply. It was actually you who replied to one of my previous questions on the 26th, where I thought I was put in the 'friends zone', but that you thought it might of been a sh!t test and that she was a 'strong logical communicator'.

    You suggested to not give her verbal validation of my interest and build tension. I followed your advice...to the point that she actually asked me out for drinks at the weekend (it was a surprise ). The problem was that I was away and could not go.

    Your advice of building the tension appeared to work (big thank you for that!! ). So that's why I now had this question on whether to ask her out again!

    Cheers
    "Named must your fear be before banish it you can."

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I asked her out, she couldnt go. She asked me out, I couldnt go. What n

    Yes I do remember that post and I'm glad I could help.

    There's nothing inherently wrong with asking her out. I'm sure she is interested. The problem is that you both could get used to the flaking. I know a woman that we have been flaking on each other for almost a year. Nowadays if she asks me out or vice versa and the other says "I can't" it's more like a "Oh well. Should've guessed" and we just brush it off to SOMEDAY. You don't want this situation since all drive is lost.

    So if her interest is still very strong and she's open about it with you then it should be no problem to actually make solid plans with her that you know you both will meet. If she happens to flake again then that's for another post lol.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I asked her out, she couldnt go. She asked me out, I couldnt go. What n

    BatMan knows his sh*t. Listen to him.

    I have one of these girls. She's gone for the week but "promised" to get back to me once she got home. That'll be Friday, and I'll be out of state for the weekend. Of course, she doesn't know that yet.

    We are both in a similar state. We both have interest, but that interest is borderline flakey indifference. Neither you nor me will be able to reach hook point until the actual physical interaction. Call her up; make it happen.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  6. #6
    PSAM_RST is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I asked her out, she couldnt go. She asked me out, I couldnt go. What n

    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    BatMan knows his sh*t. Listen to him.

    I have one of these girls. She's gone for the week but "promised" to get back to me once she got home. That'll be Friday, and I'll be out of state for the weekend. Of course, she doesn't know that yet.

    We are both in a similar state. We both have interest, but that interest is borderline flakey indifference. Neither you nor me will be able to reach hook point until the actual physical interaction. Call her up; make it happen.
    Hi Cody,

    Yea, I hugely respect Batman's advice. I followed it previously and it worked, so I know what you mean.

    Thank you also for your explination about being in a similar situation.

    I am going to ask her tomorrow when I see/speak to her and see where we go from there. I will keep you all informed! (this is an interesting one!)

    Cheers
    "Named must your fear be before banish it you can."


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