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  • 1 Post By The Red Baron

Thread: LOW self confidence

  1. #1
    starter is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default LOW self confidence

    I'm friends with this girl (kinda) but there is some sexual tension for sure and I know she enjoys my company. She is VERY VERY insecure, to the point that a simple neg would really hurt her feelings. How do I escalate and assert my control while working around this obstacle? More info if you ask. Thanks

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: LOW self confidence

    You don't want to full blown neg her, but you do want to tease her. Keep in mind there's a big difference. Teasing is playful and always good. Just be fun, tease her and challenge her
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    Steez is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: LOW self confidence

    She seems attracted in you, so let her know why you're attracted to her. There's nothing wrong with overlapping and letting a qualification stage run a little bit longer... IMO. I think the more she knows the deeper attributes that you're attracted to, that she has, she'll be boosted enough to really get you into that comfort and finally seduction stage.

  4. #4
    Milwaukee-Mack's Avatar
    Milwaukee-Mack is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LOW self confidence

    yeah it seems like you neg her too hard. be playful about little things she does that you notice, dont say stuff like "u got food in your peach fuzz mustache" lol.
    Things to keep in mind, Players:
    1. Dont be friends with girls you want to have sex with
    2. if your happy with yourself thats all that matters.
    dont work on yourself for others, work on yourself for YOURSELF.
    3. Always have a Plan B. Because attracting that certain woman never goes as planned.

  5. #5
    vislabraye is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LOW self confidence

    Errors are bound to happen. But I think u shouldn't come of too strong. Be playful and let things escalate.

  6. #6
    bobat6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: LOW self confidence

    since she's insecure, she will probably need reassurance that you are not like other guys who try and use her, so you need to show her that, but still making sure to keeping her attracted to you, and not friendzoning youself ..

    go slow m8.. tease her a little, get a bit flirty but not obvious, let things work out themselves, she will probably give you some IOI's from time to time..
    The Worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I'd Hate that!

  7. #7
    starter is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LOW self confidence

    Thanks guys. And yeah, I'd never tell her she has a mustache...lol.

  8. #8
    Jefe is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: LOW self confidence

    How curious ...
    Is her insecurity not a horrid turnoff to you?


    Jefe!

  9. #9
    DennisBear is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LOW self confidence

    i think giving her some specific compliments sometimes would be good. By specific compliments i mean those such: "This dress suites you well", "you look cute with this hairstyle". This way she will feel rewarded for her work to look good and she will feel that if she is with you, you raise her value. Combine it with light and warm teasing such us the other guys said in previous comments.
    I used to have a girlfriend who was unsecure and i got her cause i always try to raise the value to those who hang out with me.

  10. #10
    DannyC1991 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LOW self confidence

    In my experiences with these types of women I have come to realize that they are usually extremely temperamental, and you can never be too direct.

    Negs will usually be taken straight to heart, and are a sure way of losing every chance you may have had...

    If she has a low self-esteem, any direct compliment on her appearance should be used with extreme caution as well.. Depending on her lack of confidence, a direct compliment always has the chance of her thinking you are just saying that, and don't really mean it, now every possible reason you MIGHT have complimented is going through her head, causing her to rebuild any walls you have got through so far.

    I'm not sure if there is a specific term for it, but instead of "You have pretty eyes," you can use "I have to say, girls with (her eye color) eyes are my weakness!"

    This has a few instant effects on her subconscious;
    She will recieve some sort of pride in her eyes, making it at least somewhat easier for her to maintain eye contact with you, and now she has something that most girls dont, but most importantly her brain connects you with her feeling attractive and desirable.

    Over time, she will be more confident when around you, and will open up...


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