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Thread: Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

  1. #1
    Swag is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

    Situation:
    Ok, so there is this girl I have been gaming for like 2 weeks. On our first date, she told me that she wasn’t attracted to me but liked me as a friend (she is a HOT 27 year old mature looking lawyer and I am a very young looking 25 year old). I convinced her to come shopping with me to replace my favorite clubbing shirt I named “Swag” because it was falling apart.

    When she came, I invited her into the house to watch the Olympics while I went upstairs to make an “important phone call” so that she could get comfortable coming back later. So we went to the mall, out to eat, out for drinks, then got stuff so she could wax my eyebrows from the grocery store, chips and dip form the convenience store, etc…(I try to go as many places as possible on the date) then back to the house.

    I really messed up here!
    When we went to eat, I said that when we first met, I wasn’t attracted to her because of her big nose (jokingly) but that now I think it looks so hot. She took SO MUCH offence to that. Apparently no guy has said that to her since grade 7 and she was going on and on about how she thinks she is pretty and can get any guy she wants. She also said that she would never say anything like that and thinks I am an asshole for saying it.

    Quick save:
    It was an awkward drive home, but I convinced her that I would tell her some juicy sex gossip only if she would have a drink with me. She agreed and we had deep conversation and a few drinks.

    Action time:
    I brought her back to my place and we just got closer and closer talking. Then I played the questions game and ended up making out with her, and she just kept saying that she could not believe I said the nose thing (while smiling and making out with me lol). I think she was really into me because it was a passionate session.

    What I am confused about:
    I know the nose comment got me action that night. The date was mundane until I said that and then it got exciting. But, wtf! That was way too big of an insult, she almost cried! What do you guys think, should I avoid those types of neg’s in the future or did I do it textbook?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

    No dude you did fine, textbook move

    She was on a high pedestal used to everyone complimenting her. By sayin that you set yourself apart from all of them. After she knew she could have flaws in your eyes she started working to get your approval and validation

    Keep it up
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
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    Default Re: Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

    That was pretty ballsy for sure! But trust me, a girl will absolutely forgive you for being a jerk if you go a little overboard.
    But she WON'T forgive you for being a wuss-bag...

    Also- it's not AFC or beta to apologize if you DO cross a line. Just admit & apologize sincerely for "being a jerk". (But leave it at that.. no need to go into specifics & re-hash whatever it was you did or said.)

    Then change the subject & her state, to get her focused on something more fun & upbeat.



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  4. #4
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    Default Re: Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

    I am so glad you guys think that, I’m just getting back into this and I get butterflies in my stomach a lot.

    Red Baron, you hit it bang on! The whole time before that, she kept talking about the 7 other guys she dated last month and how 5 of them were engineers. She also kept saying that every guy she has been with wanted her back. After I said the nose thing, she spent a lot of time talking about how she doesn’t have a problem with how she looks and no guy has ever had a problem with her.

    Tmalonetn, I did exactly what you said. I apologized and talked about how I was insensitive. I told her that I had a weight problem in grade 7 and that’s why I stay in shape so I knew where she was coming from. I also started to joke about it and give it special attention when we were making out.

    Yesterday:
    So, I messaged her the next day (yesterday) and she drove back to the city that she lives in (about 4hr drive) without telling me. I called her a ‘homo’ for not saying bye and she was being really short and angry in the text messages. She said that she didn’t know why she did it and that one thing just led to another. I told her I knew it would happen when we first met, and that she was almost as good as me making out (very cocky lol). She laughed, but was very short and kind of upset through the rest of the text msg convo.

    Your Opinion Please!
    I think I should go No-Contact and just keep gaming others, what do you think? I really like this girl but she has 6 other guys that she is dating, none of whom have done as much as I have with her. And they are all older guys who are SHY and have little sexual experience (like most Indian good boys, lol).

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

    I don't think you have to necessarily go completely no contact...

    But if you're gaming a few other girls, then you definitely don't have to be too concerned either way.

    I would stay in contact to some extent though. But also, since you've made a connection with her already, it's totally OK to dial back the cocky stuff now, & add a little "sweet" to the mix.

    The cockiness really should be geared towards the very beginning of the attraction phase. After that it's not all that necessary.

    But overall I think you definitely set yourself apart from the "other guys".


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  6. #6
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    Default Re: Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

    The NEG was defintely harsh, but she sounded like she needed that with all her cockiness. And the apologizing could go either way. You didn't overdo it so that's good. If she milked the whole thing, got you apologzing 10 times back to back, and even having you trying to do things for her to make it up, then you would've lost her. Good job man.

    Seems to me that the makeout happened purely on the amount of attraction built up. You may have been missing comfort, rapport, or even qualification.

    Qualifying is a highly overlooked technique. If you don't do it then in her mind your attraction for her isn't solidfied. So basically there is no nail holding down the blanket (attraction) that's being blown away by the wind (time).

    If you felt you have done all these things then it's just a matter of; you did all you could, now it's time for her to accept her attraction for you and let her come to you.

  7. #7
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

    Going to agree with Tmal mostly. Dont go no contact, but do go sparing contact. I also think you need to do a proper mix of sweet and challenging.

    She has other options and if you go too sweet as soon as she pulls a crazy move like that, you're gonna put yourself right where everyone else is. You wanna approach like, well it was lame but maybe I'll let you make it up to me.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  8. #8
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    Default Re: Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

    Thanks for the responses guys, I find these boards really helpful and even put clients on hold to read the responses, lol!

    BatMan, you hit the nail right on the head with your analysis. I feel like I missed something. I’m not sure what, and the event just happened out of attraction. I not only made out with her but I also fingered her, and she asked for it. She said “finger me like you would fark me!”. She was screaming and loving it but then after she came, she just got up and said “I have to go, I didn’t expect this! Sh*t, we ruined the friendship.” We made out at the door before she left and she isn’t the type of girl who does that kind of stuff. She only had 5 partners, all of whom she was in a relationship with for 1 – 5 years.

    Red Baron, I did exactly what you just said. I messaged her, but she isn’t talking like she used to. She said that she didn’t really know how little spare time she would have in the evenings. To her defense, she did JUST start working today and I know for a fact that her job requires 60-80hrs a week (big corporate law). I messaged her that she could always talk to me if she needs a good laugh or cheering up and that I know she will be an awesome attorney. She said that it was really sweet and goodnight.

    My next steps:
    I really like this girl but I feel like there is little I can do. I will drop a text here and there with an inside joke but beyond that, I feel like I have to move on with my life. I am going to a law ball on Aug 31 and hope to meet some nice girls there.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

    Bump…

    Quick Summary,
    Went on a date with an HB8 corporate lawyer 2 years older than me. Got friend zoned but took her to a mall then slew of places and after a well placed neg, and attraction built up, I made out with and fingered this girl. After, she abruptly got up and left. She said it was a mistake and now I am friend zoned.

    My Thoughts
    After some analyzing, I think BatMan is correct in saying that I did not qualify her enough. She still thought that she was above me in status. Just a few days ago, through text messages (she lives 4hrs away from me) I was able to have her find out that I am dating other girls (while she is busy with work) and have her bring up the neg (she is still upset about it). I then got her to grab a drink to loosen up so that I would call her and play the cube game (first time we spoke in about 2 weeks since she abruptly left). Last night I put a funny pre-club getting ready video and a DHV status update (I got off the forums) on FaceBook. She messaged me an inside joke about that video that Saturday night 12:41am. I almost always initiate the convos, AFC I know. I just finished reading text game and changed my game entirely.

    My Plan:
    1. I will not message back (I’m not on FaceBook on a Saturday night). Plus she is friends with all her last few dates and they come to her beck and calling as I am told…I wont.

    2. She is a facebookaholic so I will continue DHVing through facebook (I don’t ever use it because of my business but now it’s picked up and I don’t care what I put on it)

    3. The challenge I have is that I built up all this sexual tension that night and after making out with her and doing other things, I killed the sexual tension. She got it out of her system and now knows what I am all about (or so she thinks, lol). From now on, I will only DHV myself (very subtly through facebook), build attraction and qualify her through text messages and phone convo’s of which I will only initiate about 25% of the time.

    THERE WILL BE LITTLE TO NO COMFORT until we meet in person again…If she tells me about her ex-boyfriends I will say “Hey, don’t you think you should talk to your girlfriends about this.” etc… Then if she finally comes back home and we meet up, my goal is to passionately kiss a few times, and build up sexual tension before she leaves. I will end the kissing and Kino moments, not her. I will be in charge of its pace.


    Guys, I need your Help!
    I want to date this girl but the competition is fierce. I have by far gone the furthest physically and emotionally while the other orbiters (6 that I know of) have either been confirmed eliminated or friendzoned.

    What do you guys think? Please offer any corrections or insights, that would be much appreciated!

    If I am friendzoned again, that's cool. This is after all a learning experience and I am having SO MUCH FUN with the chase lol.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Textbook Play or Lucky Save: Did I take this neg to far?

    I think your plan is solid. The only thing Id watch out for is overthinking it. I've done it enough to know its counterproductive. The most important part is to have a strong sense of reality. The kind she can't help but get sucked into it. Where in your reality the rules are different and its intoxicating. All while not giving a fuck what she thinks. Without verbalizing of course. Maybe once or twice
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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