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Thread: Approaching advice

  1. #1
    plainmadness is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Approaching advice

    Hi there.

    I need some advice from you guys.

    About me:
    I'm a 20yo male studying engineering at a foreign university. I'm average or slightly over-average looking. I got a serious visual imparity though. Also I'm looking about 2-3 yrs younger than I am.

    I need some advice on these:

    1) Last year I approached some girls and the feedback was great. I got some phone numbers. These girls where obviously interested in me, but when I taught them I was visually impared they immediately lost interest. I'm afraid I can't change the fact. I've already asked a few friends about that and they stated that I shouldn't mention that at all, because that is pity. I should rather wait for them to ask "what's wrong". what do you guys think about that?

    2) I'm considering approaching some gals in university, but I'm self concious that I look a bit too young for these girls they may be 20-22 yrs old. Is that a turnoff?

    Thanks guys.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Approaching advice

    I think if you approach your visual impairment with humor you will have a better shot.

    One of my exes showed me an online message she got from a war vet who lost his leg. He approached it in a way that he was seeking pity simply by mentioning it, then verbalizing in his message that he wasn't looking for pity. That just leaves a bad taste in someones mouth if you get heavy about something like that. If he approached it with some humor to lighten the situation he would have had a better shot with her.

    If you feel comfortable with yourself, then I think you should even poke fun of yourself for it. Not overdo it. Just one or two jokes about it to ease peoples tension after you mention it. Hope this helps and good luck.

  3. #3
    plainmadness is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Approaching advice

    Thanks man. That's exactly what my friends taught me and it makes sense to me. What about my second question?<

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Approaching advice

    Hey Plainmadness,

    If you could PM me a picture of you I may be able to help you appear older. I'm 20 but prefer 23,24...25.....26, etc. So I know how you feel. Physical alterations will obviously help, but confidence is killer. Most girls are more than surprised when they find out I'm only 20. "But you're so confident!"

    Yes. Yes I am. Lol
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


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    Default Re: Approaching advice

    I have a similar issue, although not with my vision.... it's my hearing.

    After playing drums in a rock band for 2 decades (without earplugs) I have the constant high-pitched ring of tinnitus.
    So, whenever someone talks quietly, it sounds like they're mumbling & I constantly have to ask them to repeat what they just said.

    At first I was nervous & uneasy about it. Then I just decided to make a quick explanation about how I thought I was invincible when I was younger & playing "Rock Star"... and now I'm paying for it because I'm not a super-hero... just a human. & then laugh about it for a minute & move to another topic.

    So, by not making it a big deal but rather, making a little joke about it & being confident, it didn't become an issue.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  6. #6
    plainmadness is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Approaching advice

    Problem is, I rely on public transportation pr friends who drive me. I also have problems recognizing people from far away. I'm afraid when I arrive at a date, I cant find the gal, but she knows I'm there. :/ What can I do about that?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Approaching advice

    Quote Originally Posted by plainmadness View Post
    Problem is, I rely on public transportation pr friends who drive me. I also have problems recognizing people from far away. I'm afraid when I arrive at a date, I cant find the gal, but she knows I'm there. :/ What can I do about that?
    Again you can always make it humorous. Maybe telling her that you will pay her to be your seeing eye dog. Or that she has to treat you like your Ray Charles while you sing I've Got A Woman.

    You seriously don't want to overdo these types of jokes. They can get stale and then she will view your humor as you hiding your insecurity.....if she's half intelligent that is lol.

  8. #8
    plainmadness is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Approaching advice

    Sorry for reusing this thread but I have another question.

    My goal is to find me a girlfriend. However, I don't have a large social circle. I'm studying software engineering and most of my friends are guy friends. I go to the gym and most of my friends are guy friends although I know a few girls there and we're quite having fun, but they are older and not interested in me.

    My question is wheather I can get dates / lays / gf from just cold/warm approaching random girls? Has that ever worked for someone? I had some good convos with some girls but that went nowhere. Just go on?

    Thanx


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