A little background on me:
I'm 24. She's 21.
Physically, I'm not your typical "hunk" -- kinda fat, long hair (which I put up in weird styles), full facial hair (usually fairly groomed). Unusual and inconsistent dressing style (even for my "scene"). I tend to ooze confidence, even to the point of full-on arrogance, but always in an indirect/"nice" sort of way. I'm exuberant energetic; a dance floor dominator.
My social circles are all of the alt/artistic/music variety.
I'm a computer scientist, an artist, a performer, an active DJ and musician, and enjoy holding intelligent conversations about just about any topic.
I'm socially dominant in my scenes; I can barely keep up with the daily volume of my facebook wall and text messages, and tend to ignore a lot of communication.
Girls tend to develop MAJOR crushes on me before actually getting to know me well.
Here's a recent scenario:
Met this cute girl a few weeks ago casually at some parties / a friends house. She was super flirty on me but I wasn't much for reciprocation (she was all nervous, in a cute way, and just wasn't really into it yet). Went out for some impromptu coffee -- developed some great chemistry. Very sharp/smart/quick-witted girl & this is totally mandatory for me. She proactively gives me her phone number (I don't give her mine).
A week goes by. I see her briefly at another event, but I was working the event so not much interaction took place.
Then a perfect date opportunity arises. I send her a flirty text inviting her to a club night, she nervously and very eagerly responds & comes over my place beforehand for some pre-gaming.
The date goes amazingly. Again, awesome chemistry, lots of physical contact, lots of sexual escalation but no kissing. Note that this isn't a bump & grind kind of club atmosphere, more of a rave/techno/hardstyle dance sort of thing (literally no grinding in the house, it's just not the culture). She had a blast.
I have total social dominance in this scene. Dozens of hugs/hellos -- from the DJs and people putting on the event. I introduced her to lots of people. Folks were straight up thanking me just for coming out and being present at their night, in earshot of her.
OK, here's where things start to get farking weird:
I drive her back to my place -- she's eager to do so.
Eventually, she says she wants to pass out. OK. She was gonna curl up on the couch but I told her she didn't have to do that, and led her to my (rather swanky) room. She seemed delighted.
When we got there, I *finally* made a move and started making out with her. It lasted for all of 2 minutes before she gave me "hey, I really liked kissing you, but I'm just not in a place to hook up right now". OK -- I farked something up.
I gave her a t-shirt to change into, and she "tried" to pass out, still wearing pants. But she was so clearly not sleeping, and I was just plain up and about doing sh1t.
Long-ish story short, I pretty much kept her up all night, persistent making moves. She'd be walking away and I'd grab her and kiss her and go for her neck, and viscerally she was responding *oh so well* -- full on moaning, gasping, reciprocating. But after all of a few minutes she'd give me a "I can't handle this right now, it's too much".
Eventually (and this was like 7am now), I asked if she could get herself home, and she said she could.
What am I doing wrong here?
Are these girls seeing me as BF material (as opposed to fark buddy material?) Am I creeping them out with my persistence, or simply avoiding the friend-zone B.S.?