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Thread: IDK what to do about girl who isn't responding

  1. #1
    lwl712x is offline PUA in Training
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    Default IDK what to do about girl who isn't responding

    OK long story but brothers I need Ur help!

    OK so me and this girl were going great. She was in my class, school ended, we graduated high school she gave me her number and within the past two months there was a mutual understanding that we were together.

    For example discussing how many kids we were going to have or where theyíre going to sleep. (I know itís stupid but it was cute)

    The past 2 months she knows on the weekends I go out and have a great time, get high and text her and she always enjoys it. So about 8 days ago it was 2am and I was out and she texted ďdonít text and drive I donít want u getting hurt and a bunch of other cute things". I replied but didnít get a text back.

    The text day I texted her I said the usual like ďmorning Ē. Thatís what we usually did, text each other in the morning but I got no reply. So 7 days passed and I got kind of worried. But between those days I was out partying and met girls and I put some pics up on fb with the girls. (Sheís my friend on fb) I have done that in the past but she never minds. I always apologize to her and she laughs and tells me, girls can hang out with me but they better not steal me. (Which is kind of cute or maybe Iím just a bit weird)

    So I texted her today it has been 8 days the last time she sent me a text I and said "Iím sorry I know I did something to piss you off, please tell me what I did" I said that with some other sweet things

    Since she has an iPhone I saw that she read the message. But she didnít reply. I sent two more texts saying u know Iím sorry I know this time I messed up Iím sorry sweetheart.

    Still she read the message but didnít reply.

    Iím hurt because me and her had an understanding of being together. If she was a random friend that didnít reply I wouldnít care but she knows she mine.

    So please help me out I donít know what to do. I feel like sh1t at the moment. Kind of hurt... help me out please

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: IDK what to do

    Your off partying with other girls...how do you know she is not also in contact with other guys? Also make no apologies for who you are...you're not married to this girl so you are allowed to talk to other women and go out partying...especiall y if she has said she doesn't have a problem with it. Girls do like attention and to feel like they are number 1 in your life so it is sometimes difficult to find a balance between freedom and your mates and spending time with her. Steer it away from apologising needy texts and call her up. If she does not answer go and visit her. She's freezing you out and it will be worthwhile to find out why. Without much information to go on she may have already started looking elsewhere for another guy and found him or wants to find him.

  3. #3
    Express27 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: IDK what to do

    I donno if you necessarily did anything worth apologizing for. You said she had no problem in the past when you hung out and posted pics with other girls, so it's unlikely that it is what is causing her to go cold on you. It likely is just something inner with herself. Girls are weird and often both irrational and unpredictable. It is our job as PUA's to take the highest equity approach to our situations and interactions with women. I can tell you for sure that chasing this girl and continually sending her texts apologizing is just lowering your value. You likely have some oneitis with this girl, which is natural if you really have been so close with her, but you need to ensure you don't seem needy. She should be chasing you and having to fight for your attraction, not the other way around.

    Just let things sit for now and wait for her to contact you. She will eventually and then try to re-establish your value and dominance in the relationship.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: IDK what to do

    What these guys are saying is true. I agree 100% I also want to add something, although it sounds a little malicious....

    This actually happened to me quite a bit with one girl from high school. She actually enjoyed me groveling to her. (I think some women enjoy it when they get older.) Its something about blindly apologizing and chasing that their subconscious goes "Hey! I'm ignoring him and he's giving me attention. I better keep doing this!" Its a little messed up, but we teach people how to treat us.

    She was mad at me for something and was openly mean to me in school and I had no idea why. I tried apologizing then acting friendly like nothing happened. But to no avail. I called her constantly and she kept hanging up on me. I couldn't figure it out and it was frustrating me since I felt if she simply told me we could fix it.

    Then one day I called her and asked if we could talk. She literally says to me "You've got 30 seconds." I was floored, but felt I was on a time limit. I then proceeded to tell her that I didn't know what her problem was, but she was acting like a BITCH and I was done trying to figure out what's wrong with her. And if she didnt want to be friends anymore then I didn't care. I then hung up on HER for a change

    I kid you not the VERY NEXT DAY in school she's says hi to me like nothing happened. We then started talking and hanging out and SHE chased ME. It blew my mind that something like that actually works. Hope my experience sheds some light. Good luck.

  5. #5
    lwl712x is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: IDK what to do

    You guys are so GREAT! that why i love this site. Everybody is nice and they give extremely good advice. I honestly felt like sh1t when i saw that she read my text and didnt answer but now i feel great. My friends told me not to get too attached, girls come and go, they got my confidence up. And I apologise to her to strengthen the relationship because if I stop apologising then she becomes my “friend” rather than a “wifey” because think about it, you wouldn’t apologise to a friend if you were with girls, you would apologise to ur wife/gf. Since we are only 18 she gets turned on when I apologise because she imagines im kind of her husband.

    Im not going to text her unless she texts me and I have a feeling she will text because the last text she sent, she totally cared about me. Plus I have this great busy image infront of her. Im a boxer trying to go pro so this period of me not texting her, she’ll know im not at home sobbing over her.

    Another thing I want to ask, this other girl wants me to take her out on a date. I was texting her last night (always invest ur time in different girls, don’t put ur nuts in one sack) and she believes I can’t get her wet on the first date and of course getting her wet will lead to other things . So should I take her out on a date? But this girl knows my girl. I know the word will get around and btw she is not my girl. It’s just a mutual understanding between us. So please don’t think im a pig

  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: IDK what to do about girl who isn't responding

    Have you actually slept with the this girl yet? 'Mutual understanding that you are together?'. You have used mutual understanding a lot. You don't want to be calling someone 'wifey' and talking about babies without getting sh1tloads of sex. You can duck and weave but to win you have to throw some punches and decide exactly what it is YOU want.

  7. #7
    lwl712x is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: IDK what to do about girl who isn't responding

    Its been two months and before this whole mess on numerous nights we talked about sex in her room and talked about how i can fuck her on her bed if shes homealone. Plus we dont talk about sex and kids on a daily base because i feel if i do, then shes going to think all i want is sex. But i have told her im gnna make love to her and all that jazz so shes knows im a man that has needs

  8. #8
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    Default Re: IDK what to do about girl who isn't responding

    The ability to apologize is a great trait. However it is very delicate.

    You should not apologize for something you don't know what you're apologizing for. All you're doing is teaching her that she doesn't have to say anything to get you to be apologetic. So again no blindly apologizing.

    Also don't apologize repeatedly. Twice is usually enough and anything more you are just adding fuel to the fire. You want to quickly move onto something else.

    Lastly pick your times when to apologize. Sometimes you will apologize then two days later realize SHE was actually wrong, but now can't say anything because you already said sorry and it will just make you look silly.

    The mutual understanding is a bit strange. Either you are together or not. Or maybe friends with benefits. If there aren't any rules defined between you two, then there ARE no rules and you can do whatever you want without apology. But you are still young and will learn all this in time. Just be glad you are starting earlier than most.

  9. #9
    lwl712x is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: IDK what to do about girl who isn't responding

    We just have this understanding that we are together. We didnt go all out and put it on fb "In a relationship" or text eachother "be my gf?". We both know we"re together, so sorry if anybody got confused.

  10. #10
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: IDK what to do about girl who isn't responding

    Quote Originally Posted by lwl712x View Post
    Its been two months and before this whole mess on numerous nights we talked about sex in her room and talked about how i can fark her on her bed if shes homealone. Plus we dont talk about sex and kids on a daily base because i feel if i do, then shes going to think all i want is sex.
    Only immature girls have issues with 'men wanting sex'. No women in their 30's ever say that rubbish. Don't apologise or hide away from it!!! You carry billions of sperm and thus it is your evolutionary right to fark women. No fun talking about it and not getting it. What a cock tease!! And you're defending her and apologizing to her. The bedroom is not the only place you can screw a girl. You need to take what you want and if she is going to keep playing childish husband and wife games without any of the benefits of a real sexual relationship then you need to move on and you already have a girl waiting. You have one girl 'talking about sex' and another saying 'bet you can't get me wet on the first date' and you are in between getting absolutely nothing! No offense, I'm gonna be a bit critical here to help you, but you need to stop being one of her fantasy barbie doll collection and start being a real man.


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