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  1. #1
    ShoreGuy28's Avatar
    ShoreGuy28 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Got obvious IOI's then the approach blew it...advice?

    Was hoping to get an experts quick advice on what I could have done differently in a set I opened last night.

    Me and my buddy were sitting at the bar and we see a 3 set in which 2 of the girls were giving obvious (and I mean OBVIOUS) IOI's by glancing over at us every 4-5 seconds.

    I say to my friend who is a complete AFC, "dude, lets go talk to them, just follow my lead"...he's not the kinda guy that would EVER randomly approach girls and he knows that I will...

    So, I approach the 3 set (who were kinda dancing..ish) and said something like "Hey, you girls look like you're having so much fun, I had to come over and talk to you"...the cuter of the 3, IMO, looked at me and was somewhat flattered then things got awkward.

    I asked them who they were and where they were staying immediately which was a HUGE "no-no" and then we pretty much just stood there awkwardly for 10 seconds trying to make small talk (not sure what I said..hahah), then I said it was nice to meet them and walked away.

    I'm sure I'm making it out to be a lot worse than the conversation actually went but I'm so confused how they were clearly eyeing us up at the bar then when we went to talk to them they were kind of put off.

    I gave myself props for opening them up (because it's something I NEVER would have done before the forums) but didn't get good results.

    Can anyone suggest some different approaches I could have used?

    One thing I will say is that when I'm solo sarging I tend to do SO much better...the idea of having a wingman whoes an AFC just throws my game off.

    Any help would be great! Thanks in advance!

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Got obvious IOI's then the approach blew it...advice?

    "we saw you girls checking us out, what's the matter too shy to say hi?"
    First it's confident, direct, and turns the tables on them. And let's you set up some good banter

    Really just sounds like you went with the typical AFC interview questions. This is boring and turns girls down immediately. Ask them about other things and get them talking about their interests and passions. Don't ask for a name, don't ask where they're from, where they're staying, these as facts, we want values to get girls talking. Guys need to chose where to lead the conversation
    Last edited by The Red Baron; 08-08-2012 at 08:14 AM. Reason: Spelling
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Got obvious IOI's then the approach blew it...advice?

    Yeah, you pretty much answered your own question there...
    "I asked them who they were and where they were staying immediately which was a HUGE no-no"

    The opener was great. Complimentary about their "vibe & energy" (instead of looks) and being honest about why you came over... because you had to come over & talk to them.

    Girls appreciate straight forwardness & honesty, along with confidence.

    But the whole "asking where they were staying" part, was the big "oooops"!!
    LOL!


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    ShoreGuy28's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got obvious IOI's then the approach blew it...advice?

    Hahahaha, as usual, awesome advice...

    The funny thing is, if I had approached them solo..I would have said something along the lines of what Red Barron said...which is an awesome line, BUT what do you do if they would have got put off by that and taken it as cocky?

    Thanks again guys, and I promise, I won't go all AFC on them next time haha

  5. #5
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got obvious IOI's then the approach blew it...advice?

    It's Always better to risk sounding cocky vs sounding timid or beta. And all of it comes across in your presentation. Said with a smile they won't take it cocky, if they did then its not the line it's your delivery
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Got obvious IOI's then the approach blew it...advice?

    To me the big mistake was walking away. You asked them where they were staying. Uninteresting but salvageable. You didnt say anything offensive but lost confidence from the awkwardness. Possibly having a lackluster wing threw you off. I often ask or say plenty of boring stuff in convos to keep the flow going and I don't really care, it's just filler until I get something more dynamic happening if I didn't open well or they are unresponsive. Be persistent and eventually your charm will outshine everything else. It's not how many times you fumble the ball but how many goals you score that ultimately counts but obviously you don't want to fumble around too much. You said you were probably making it out to be much worse than it was and your probably right.


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