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Thread: First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

  1. #1
    cheebamaster is offline PUA in Training
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    Default First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

    Not as bad as it seems. I was in a relationshit for 6 years with a girl and it broke off. Now I'm thrown back in the game and a little bewildered.

    Still, I seem to have my mojo together a little bit. A few days later I was out drinking and met a girl, made out multiple times and just really hit it off...everything short of taking her home to which she said "no" which I kind of like to be honest. I don't like sleezies.

    Anyway, she became infatuated with me. Texted me the next morning, sent me more texts...I bantered back and forth with her as she left for vacation for the week. She randomly texted me her work schedule and told me which days she was free and asked where I was going to take her on the date.

    All very positive signs and I think I've played it well so far. Well, our initial encounter was alcohol fueled, and my text game is apparently solid...my first date game? 6 years gone. I am taking her parsailing and then might hit the water with some jet skii's if all is well.

    I figure it creates a fantastic memory, is something she totally not expecting..she kept asking where I was taking her and I said "are you afraid of heights? That's your only hint lol" ...she texted me multiple times that she's excited....

    So...this place is about a 35 minute drive..I'm very A.D.D and am horrible at talking to people while driving lol. Any tips for 1st date/long car drive? Doing this in the morning as she works later...no chance at f close or anything so It's gotta be epic.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

    Oops. I probably should have read this one first. You've got the right idea. Dates (especially first dates) need two elements: action (for men)and conversation (for women.) You obviously have action, so focus on building rapport (I assume comfort [kino] would come easy on this kind of date?) Thats' going to be double important since your D1 was alchy. :P On the drive there get her to talk about herself. It'll make the drive easier on you and girls love talking about themselves as long as you maintain genuine interest. If you have down time change the dynamic to a different tone, if you know what I mean. BatMan has a post on the kind of questions I'm implying: Here. Anything else just ask

    Relationsh*t. Lol
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    TheManSohan is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

    @Cody, man you explain some things really well along with having that awesome sense of humour and I agree he does have the right idea about taking her out to parsail, but think before you do it and try to image in your head how you will approach escalating Kino and gaining rapport.

    I don't know a lot about parsailing but I can see it being an awesome adventure for her but you got to remember that you need to escalate with her physically or emotionally which I can see being awkward with parsailing because to me it seems similar to taking to her movie for the first date because which it is a good gesture it does not allow you to escalate properly. In my opinion taking her to lunch or Coffee would have been the safe bet but go for parsailing and see how it works.

    For the trip on the road (depending on how long it is), you can emotionally connect with her with some simple questions and using the hooking points. I've got two example I use when I'm talking to women: "What was your favourite childhood memory? or "what did you want to be when you younger?" (that I use in regular conversation when a girl says she has no ambitions). This openers her up so much if you also ask about feelings and emotions which also an attraction switch.

    Just remember that if she didn't enjoy her time than it was a lesson learnt and that there are plenty more Women to find out there!

    And I did enjoy that relationshit comment ^^

  4. #4
    cheebamaster is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

    Interesting perspective.

    I figured giving smoochies 800 feet in the air would be enough kino since we already made out and what not. Good ideas for the ride there. I can't really escalate more than hand holding and a couple kisses but I was thinking date 3 = cooking my place where I can really push it

    oh and I might mention...after parasailing was going to go for a walk down the beach...I love living in a vacation city

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    TheManSohan is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

    Well that sounds awesome, hope you two have a lot of fun but with the kiss I was thinking about buyers remorse because like you said it was all alcohol fuelled but I hope you two get along really well and all the best, I hope my advise helped

  6. #6
    cheebamaster is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

    UPDATE:

    Went on the date. It seemed to go pretty well. Wavrunners were awesome and I know she definitely had a good time. After that was done we went for a walk on the beach and in the water. I tried to escalate once I isolated and she seemed to be "feeling" it a little bit but wasn't making any moves towards me...but she wasn't stopping me from holding her in the water etc...

    After a bit she sorta pushed off me as if to say "enough"...maybe a sh1t test but I didn't pursue and gave her space. Took her back home and ended with a smooch on the front steps to her place...

    Couple concerns
    She really didn't make any moves towards me physically but didn't stop me from holding her or anything until after a bit and she drifted away.

    There wasn't much sexual tension...we had a good convo, definitely had a good time but there was no real spark so to speak. Could she be playing it very conservative considering the first night we went out she went bonkers on me making out etc? Maybe she wants to show she's not a slut...or does she feel bad I took her on this awesome date and doesn't want to come off like a bitch...hard to tell

    still...after date she texted me saying she had a really great time and that she hopes she didn't scare me by being a mean girl and a dork (inside joke...i called her lindsey lohan from mean girls cause she likes to gossip)

    I texted back saying she was spicy and I like spicy things...but that she def still a dork and she said "haha thanks but i guess you will have to get use to like dorks ;p"

    Thoughts? Whats my next step...was thinking something more isolated like cooking dinner at my place

  7. #7
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    Default Re: First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

    She really didn't make any moves towards me physically but didn't stop me from holding her or anything until after a bit and she drifted away.

    (Credit Gambler) The only thing you really need to be concerned about is IOD's. Don't focus on the IOI's. Some girls are more conservative in their response to interest, but that doesn't mean they're not receptive. She just doesn't want to seem easy. If you're focusing on the prevalence of IOI's, you're going to miss out on half the girls you could be having.

    Could she be playing it very conservative considering the first night we went out she went bonkers on me making out etc?

    It's probable.

    After date she texted me saying she had a really great time.

    Winning.

    And that she hopes she didn't scare me by being a mean girl and a dork.

    Seeking your validation. Winning even more.

    I texted back saying she was spicy and I like spicy things...but that she def still a dork and she said "haha thanks but i guess you will have to get use to like dorks ;p"

    If this was bowling, you just got a turkey.

    Thoughts? Whats my next step...was thinking something more isolated like cooking dinner at my place.

    You da boss. Sounds good to me assuming you can cook. Lol. If it were me, I'd make her spiral mac
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  8. #8
    cheebamaster is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

    Thanks Cody,

    by the way took your advice and let her talk about herself on the drive there. I don't really recall what she was rambling about but apparently it worked haha. As far as the sexual tension thing goes...that okay if it wasn't really there? I mean we had a LOT of fun but I feel like my attraction game could have went better...very hard trying to apply this stuff to new girl after 6 years of my relationshit

    Classes resuming next week. Gotta deal with one-itis till then I still hit myself in the head every day for not becoming single like 3 years ago...I've missed out on so much. Can't say I don't feel a bit insecure either...I'm a bit outa shape from being so comfortable in my previous relationshit and this chick basically lives at the gym...abs, legs whole nine yard.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

    Don't worry about it. You're the man. That's all you need to know.
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  10. #10
    cheebamaster is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: First date in 6 years..ADVICE NEEDED!!

    UPDATE:

    sent text for 2nd date basically mentioned that we should grab drinks later this week followed by movie and icecream at my place.

    At first she responded positively but then she sent some text about how she had to work early cause her work schedule "changed" (9am) so she couldn't be out too late. Then this morning I get a text that says

    "hey do you think we can just get a few drinks or dinner on thurs and save the movie for another night since I have to be up early n need energy?"

    Haven't responded yet but I'm assuming this is her way of saying she's not comfortable coming to my place? Not sure how I can bring things to the next level if I gotta go on a dinner date

    thoughts?


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