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  1. #1
    underpants is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help with improving myself, where to begin

    Hello fellow PUA's. Im not exactly sure where to begin and this may get a little long and boring. Im 23 yrs old, in university. I was well with socializing and women till highschool. I attended an all boys place which i didnt fit in and had a tough time with the other students and the end of it left me with a huge confidence problem. At the moment even having to talk to another random guy can get me tensed up. Thats my first problem. The second is i am the current leader of the oneitis club. Third, Also current leader of the 'good guy' club, seriously, ive been rejected and dumped aplenty with the reason being that im "just too nice a guy". Only recently have i started to understand what that meant. Im currently working on losing some weight and i know it will boost my self confidence a lot. Im also reading "The Game" which seems like a good book but im finding it wont help me solve the problems ive identified here.

    Thats where im hoping you guys might come in. What books to read, videos, etc. My motive here is a bit higher than getting girls, because my problem goes beyond interacting with girls. I know the only way i can change is to begin with the mindset ive developed throughout the years. But i need help on where and how to being.

    Sorry for the long post! Hope you guys can help (ask me anything youd like to know more about), and good luck with your endeavors too

  2. #2
    1cecube is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with improving myself

    The games a good read but doesn't apply to modern pick-up. The model is still the same with a few modifications. (attraction, qualification, comfort, seduction.) If I could take a guess of what is the biggest problem I would say its your body language when I first started it was a HUGE sticking point for me because I didn't think it mattered. But here's the fact. People perceive you with what Joshua Pellicer calls the 20/20/60 principle.

    The 20/20/60 principle-

    20% is verbal content (when I read this I was shocked but it's without a doubt dead on. When I changed my body language I realized that It really is only 20%.)

    20% is vocal tonality (the sound of your voice when you talk.)

    60% is body language

    Let me try to break it down. But if you need more info you should definitely read the book it's killer.

    Verbal content: I can't really explain this one without taking an hour so I'll just leave it at font go into interview mode and rephrase a question to make it more interesting .

    Ex:

    Bad question: what's your favorite band?

    Good question: I was listening to the radio yesterday and they said they had tickets for the 20th caller for (favorite band name.) I would've died to get them but it didn't happen. What band would you just kill for the radio to host a contest for

    Vocal Tonality: speak in a deeper slower kind of tone similar to running water (slow but smooth)

    Body Language: I'm gonna give you the basic principles of this but to fully learn it Joshua has a really good body language seminar included in the Tao of badass.

    Ok so your shoulders should always be down and relaxed.

    You should walk with a purpose. Your feet when walking should be heel to toe.

    Keep your head up.

    Walk without swinging your arms to wide or keeping them to close. (find a happy medium.)

    You also want to smile with your eyes. Your eyes should give off a relaxed look to them while your mouth should look like your self amused.

    For more info learn from the master of body language.
    Tao Of Badass
    I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.

    -Tyler Durden

  3. #3
    1cecube is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with improving myself

    One last thing I left out stick your chest out when you walk to but if your pulling your shoulders back enough that should just fall into place.
    I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.

    -Tyler Durden

  4. #4
    underpants is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with improving myself

    Thankyou for that, i will definitely try t get a hold of the book. I have to agree, i need to work on my body language. I feel my in-confidence shows through my body language. As for speech, definitely an area to work on, since i speak pretty fast with a lot of 'umms' and 'aas' thrown in. Like i said before my main goal is to fix these points because they are a hurdle when it comes to socializing with even other guys. With that said, should i start with reading "Tao of badass"? Or go for something more basic.
    Thanks again!

  5. #5
    1cecube is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with improving myself

    No the Tao of badass is what I started with after the game. And ha yea speech was a big sticking point for me too but the good thing is its only 20% if your looking to improve that too though (which you should still work on) I used Bobby Rio's conversation escalation product. Oh another helpful bit I learned which was very helpful when approaching is the 60/40 principle.

    The 60/40 principle-

    60% of the time when you get rejected is because of the mood the girl is in when you approach her

    40% has to do with everything else (tonality, language, etc.)
    Last edited by 1cecube; 08-17-2012 at 03:49 PM. Reason: Mispelled bobby rio
    I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.

    -Tyler Durden

  6. #6
    underpants is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with improving myself

    I have to agree with the 60/40 principle. Ive seen it to be true. Ive seen myself that when do get the courage to talk to a girl i get positive responses a large number of time time. But the remaining 99% of the time i get too tensed up overthinking about it before i can make a move. I suppose i should finish The Game then and see where to go after that. For the begining i really just want to work on getting rid of the in-confidence ive picked up over the last few years. What books did you read other that that?
    Thanks just getting the courage to talk about this feels great

  7. #7
    GlassJAw88 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with improving myself

    I liked mastering your hidden self a lot, if you have apprehensions and dissonance related to your inner game, it can help you understand who you are and how you should go about living your life. Its a really short read too, so its well worth the read in my opinion. It's not a seduction book though so know that going in to it, however it can be applied in such a manner

  8. #8
    underpants is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with improving myself

    Thankyou, yes i really want to start with books not particularly focused on seduction. more like self improvement on a general scale. I think after i finish The Game i might jump in either Dale Carnegie's, How to Win Friends and Influence People, or What Everybody is Saying by Joe Navarro (body language)... Thanks for the advice

  9. #9
    1cecube is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with improving myself

    The first 3 books I read that all cover game very well were

    1. Magnetic Messaging (texting)

    2. The Tao Of Bad-ass (principles of game, tactics, and body language.)

    3. Unbreakable (inner game/framing.)


    The biggest improvement to my game was Mack tactics. It takes what you've learned from all 3 of these (and others I've read.) and fine tunes it.

    But I wouldn't read it until they'll have a pretty good understanding of seduction because it's VERY information heavy.

    UNBREAKABLE | The Social Man
    I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.

    -Tyler Durden

  10. #10
    underpants is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with improving myself

    Thanks a load, i guess i should get cracking then... On a more random question, did you guys get the ideas and concepts from reading the books once or did you have to go through multiple times and idk maybe note down important stuff elsewhere... :P
    Thanks!


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