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  1. #1
    Theend0318 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Doing it wrong with girl - won't even speak to me

    Alright guys, I hope you can help me out with this girl. I've liked her for a very long time but only recently did I work up the nerve to tell her how I feel. She shot my down right away. I've been told by her friends that she enjoys talking to me and I take that as a good sign but now we aren't even on speaking terms. I'm going to list the qualities that she has which I believe are my biggest obstacles. She is a distant person, she ignores her closest friends for weeks at a time. She is a power freak who is terrified of losing control and it's not a quality but should be noted, her family dislikes me. what can I do now?

  2. #2
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Doing it wrong

    I've liked her for a very long time but only recently did I work up the nerve to tell her how I feel.

    Shouldn't have done that. It's called the game because that's what it is: a game. When you give her the validation she's been seeking she's won. From now on, don't tell a girl how you feel about her.

    She is a distant person, she ignores her closest friends for weeks at a time.

    If this is true then this situation is still worth pursuing. She shut you down not because she's not interested, but rather she doesn't let people in. Underneath it all she's a hopeless romantic. You have to pass the sh*t tests before you prove a worthy mate.

    She is a power freak who is terrified of losing control.

    I'm going to refrain on this for the time being.

    Her family dislikes me.

    Then you're f*cked. You don't date the girl, you date the girl's family.

    If you're set on this, it's not a lost cause. Though I could help you, it's not really my thing. BatMan is the guy you want to talk to when it comes to situations like these. He's better at working things out, while I would rather walk away. To me, this isn't an ideal girl, and though it may be great for a substantial amount of time neither of you will ultimately be happy. It depends on your motives and goals. All in all she has some growing up that she very well may never do. You could do better. Just a thought.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  3. #3
    Infrared is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Doing it wrong

    Ummm, stay away? Lol jk man.

    I would need more backstory but if u like her so much and her not so much, go game other girls. Lead the men and girls will follow, be preselected.

    But also, maybe ask her, or her peers to come along and do something fun and competitive, like mini-bowling, pool, watever type of sporty activity.

    That should wire into her 'controlling' personality, for u to help mold a little.
    I'm just goin on a whim here man, but if u show that ur fun, yet assertive and a social leader, it may help won her over. Just get rid of that 'one-itis' for now
    Cheers

  4. #4
    Theend0318 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Doing it wrong

    I like the bowling idea. I think I can set something like that up. please stop me if this is stupid but do you think her seeing me pick up other women would help me dhv and therefore make her feel like shehas to put in work our lose her chance with me. I know I messed up when I told her how I felt. I wish I knew the rules of the game before I did that.

  5. #5
    Infrared is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Doing it wrong

    Ya man, that's what I'm sayin.. u want to invoke her 'preselection switch.'

    But don't do it blatantly, just convey that ur a potential suitor to many ladies

  6. #6
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Doing it wrong

    Well I'm glad you already understand that confessing your feelings never works. Trust me, even when you think it's a good idea, DON'T lol.

    Cody does have a point. She seems a bit unstable and may not be the best choice for an LTR. And since this is your friend once you go forward, things will never be the same. Understand this before you make a decision.

    The main thing when it comes to friends is to first start flirting. If you ever seen Inception then you know that the closer you get to someone thinking it was their idea the more powerful it will be.....its just tough to actually pull it off. Do your best to interpret everything she does as her trying to hit on you and even go as far as to state reasons why you wouldn't work well together, but not in a douchbag way. In such a way that you aren't really trying to hurt her feelings, but just have to state the truth.

    The next thing is to increase your kino. Spank her ass playfully. Then when she goes to smack yours just push her hand away. Make her chase. Don't just focus on initiating kino, but end it first as well. Eventually your touches will be more serious and have a more sexually charged tone. And this next part is tricky.

    While you are physically escalating (lets say in bed) she is going to say many things that if not checked, will throw you off.

    - Omg we're friends.

    - Can't believe this is happening

    - I don't know if this is a good idea.

    You'd be surprised how often you can get away with not even answering a woman directly. Most of the time it's just her working through it herself and looking to you to lead her and make it ok.

    When you encounter resistance (and you will) just back off a little then wait a few min before going back in. Hot and cold. Push and pull. This builds tension. Never try to logically convince her why you should hook up. That's also the worst thing you can do. Always hold the frame of mind that "she already wants to hook up, I just have to make her comfortable with it."

    Again understand that once you move forward you can't go back, so if it doesn't work out with the two of you, prepare to not speak again.

  7. #7
    Theend0318 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Doing it wrong

    I like the way you guys think. It's positively devilish. I'm going to try to make something happen this week. I'll post my results as soon as I can. Wish me luck.


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