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  1. #1
    tdd5046 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Relationship problems after 7 months

    Hey everyone,
    I am new but I have been practicing the game for 8 or 9 months now, before I was most def a AFC. Long story short I have had a great relationship with my gf up until now, as of late we have been fighting and she seems to not care anymore. Ive been trying not to show her this is hurting me but sometimes it comes out. we just got back from vacation after a big fight where at first she suggested we take a brake, but I told her that I dont do brakes and I was out if she decided she wanted that. I am starting to regret that though and feel that I should freeze her out. She has been disinterested, barley kisses or touches me, even though i show the same interest as i did when things were great. She says that I dont care about our relationship because I am not always responding to her txts right away, and she thinks i care more about partying and my friends than I do her, which is not true at all. I dont want to lose this girl.( on vacation we started out fine, after two days i had a few minor snaps cuz i was tired and I have apologized for that, she feels as though she is not in love with me, although she says she does love me? please help

  2. #2
    ProtonCannon is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Relationship problems after 7 months

    she already told you what to do.

  3. #3
    tdd5046 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Relationship problems after 7 months

    now i brought up the her own idea about a break and not talking and she said what i said that if we take a brake we are over, we agreed to stay and work it out for a few days before i went home. but she was still acting really weird. so i brought up the idea of a break and she didnt go for it. also td while she was in the br someone txted her about shopping she has never mentioned this guy to me she replied with im excited cant wait i dont want to mention i saw the message but its really bothering me right now. Ive used the lets go to the mall and shop thing also before so im a little concerned because i am leaving her soon and everything will rely on txt/calls for over a week, and i dont have a good track record with that stuff. any more suggestions

  4. #4
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Relationship problems after 7 months

    In my experience, girltalk for "loves you" = cares strongly for you ; while "In love with you" means more in the direction of can't live without you. So she might mean that she cares strongly about you, but she can live without you. Time to change that.


    Quote Originally Posted by ProtonCannon View Post
    she already told you what to do.
    I agree with ProtonCannon, you gotta text her back within like 20 minutes AT MOST and answer her calls... like 70 - 80% of the time. 10 - 20% be busy, the rest of it somewhere in between.

    You gotta let her know she's a high priority in your life in a way that she can understand (that might mean hanging out to just talk about her feelings, that might mean answering texts) - but don't go AFC on her, be the alpha and direct the conversation in a way that provides for her emotions. Also be "just busy" some of the time (10 - 20% max).

    This has worked for me in one relationship - though I've not extensively tested.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  5. #5
    cheebamaster is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Relationship problems after 7 months

    7 months into a relationship you should be comfortable knowing who her friends are and who she is interacting with. If she's hiding the fact that she's talking to some guy that she's secretly interested in, she will just continue fighting and bickering with you to rationalize her secret crush as better.

    I highly suggest sitting down with her and have a really good convo. Ask her how she "feels" about the relationship and what in her opinion is the reason why all this fighting is going on. Instead of being judgemental or interrupting her, let her talk and try to understand things from her perspective.

    Women take an emotional approach to problems that we can't always readily relate to. It's important that she can open up to you and talk without you getting on her case about it. Once she is done have her try to understand things from your perspective and together you will be able to find common ground. Everyone thinks they're right in an argument from their point of view.

    Start realizing your emotions. If you begin to feel angry, you need to understand that what will come out of your mouth when you're angry is not going to be the healthiest and well thought out of statements. If you must, say "I'm angry right now, I need 15 minutes and then lets continue" Try working together instead of only taking things from your perspective. Women like to have emotional safety. She wants to feel that you are invested in her and in the relationship and care enough. Communicate that you understand and you'll be better off.

    Also, this is a relationship. You don't apply regular pua game to relationships. Freezing her out and such is an absolutely horrible idea and a relationship killer. There is no "game" to run. At some point it's okay to show your emotions because it shows her that you care. She's already invested in you. There is no prize to be won, no push-pull tactics or lines that make anything better. There IS need for understanding whats wrong and applying the other persons point of view.

    souce: (6 years in a relationship)

    edit: also regarding the afc comment. Ive found that when trying to project "alpha" throughout entire interactions makes you seem closed off to conversation and the girl will feel inferior and thus insecure and not wanting to communicate. Emotional conversations involving conflict or relationship problems should be taken with mutual respect and not "alpha" level. This way she feels safe in explaining her feelings and points of view and lets YOU realize what you're farking up or what is farking up the relationship. If she feels inferior it will breed instability and she'll find that stability elsewhere..

  6. #6
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    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Relationship problems after 7 months

    relationships gett stuffy, need to give space to clear the head. if you give her what she wants she will appreciate you. do it, dont be selfish
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  7. #7
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    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Relationship problems after 7 months

    Say: "Take a week off, you've earned it" with a smile on your face, she'll love the alpha in that
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  8. #8
    chet25's Avatar
    chet25 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Relationship problems after 7 months

    I am gonna go down a different direction. This might not totally apply to your situation by a general guideline. But I picked on a few things.

    Sounds like her emotional connection has waned with you, which normally ends a relationship after it does as both parties are not putting effort into it. A lot of men never realize it and get surprised when their g/f breaks it off. This really deflates their confidence. This is part of what game teaches is how to gauge women, I mean men should be the one breaking off a relationship if a woman doesn't meet what they value.

    How a connection ends with a woman a lot of time is being overly critical and get defensive of certain stuff. People are not direct. Like you say she thinks you care more about partying and your friends. Which is just a superficial cover what really is the problem. It means she feels neglected. Have to take time to learn how to read deeper into what they say and show you understand, show the impact she's had on you. Its about being present and listening.

    I'd say something like I really want to connect more with you, but right now I am drawing a blank.

  9. #9
    tdd5046 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Relationship problems after 7 months

    hey thanks everyone you guys made some great points but, I have a update.
    So yesterday I left her house and went home and we were not on good terms. So once i got home i started to magnetic txt and try to keep it playful and make a reconnection. she was text me which i assume is good, but i culd clearly tell there is a difference in the way she is talking to me. It's not as playful or cheerful... its kinda hard to explain, you guys all prob know what im talking about. I tried that all day then i tried to get her to make a investment by having her call to wake me up. she didnt call so i kept it playful and made it sound that i love when she does that. then i tried to have her call again eventually i ended up calling her. in her voice i culd tell she is angry and i have heard this anger for the last few days and i told her once again I own up to my mistakes and Im invested in her, but there are two of us in this and I want us to make this work. she said that she wanted that two and i said lets hear it a little more in our convos then because there are two of us in this together. I ended the talk on that and saying I have an awesome girl and we are awesome together and I reallly hope tomorrow my awesome gf makes a reappearance. said i love you and went to bed. she responded with a i love you too. when i woke up i sent her a message just woke up thinking about you hotness. then on fb I posed a status regarding me working toward getting a internship.... sorry this is long but i figured the more detail the better advice id get. I feel as though I have lost all the power and Im trying to get it back to a more balanced level, and reconnect

  10. #10
    tdd5046 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Relationship problems after 7 months

    p.s the reason i posted the status is i feel that she felt i lost my drive to achieve meaning i was not going to be a good provider. I want her to feel that I can provide for her and that I am the leader of men a protector of her.


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