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  1. #1
    cascadingsun is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How to reverse a neg?

    I am getting to grips with negs and jokey banter type conversations with girls at the moment. When I am talking to a girl I usually ask them a question, try to poke fun at their answer and then DHV by telling her something I know about the subject that makes me sound cool.

    I have seen how effective a good neg can be; you can just see it in their eyes when it hits its mark. However I am new to all of this and sometimes I can miss-calibrate my poking fun at her. This has happened a couple of times both infield and online. Do you guys have any advice for reversing a neg once you've done it?

    I usually just say, "I am only messing with you." or "I'm just joking around." but this can come across as apologetic which is pretty undesirable. Anyone have any advice on how to come back from a miss-calibrated neg?



    In particular I am puzzling over how to come back from this conversation on pof.com

    Me: Are you the kinda girl who takes forever to do their hair and make up, or does it just look that way?

    Her: That all depends! Are you the kind of guy who reads peoples profiles before messaging? Or do you just look at the pictures? :P

    Me: Ha ha, well a lot of people's profiles can be a bit generic. So lucky for you I went with just the pictures this time.

    This is clearly jokey, but she hasn't replied. How do I move on from here without apologising?

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How to reverse a neg?

    Seems more like a screen test rather than a neg. A neg would be more like the classic "I love your hair, but I think it would look better up/down."

    The secret to pulling off a neg successfully is to change the subject completely after you say it, therefore she doesn't have the time to react. And after a neg, trust me, you don't want to give her that time.

    So even if she does react, she will be the weird one because you have already moved onto something else.

    This is extremely hard to pull off online so I don't recommend it at all. Especially since she could just stop messaging you and still save face. If this was in person then she would run the risk of looking like she is being overdramatic if she walked away.

    Online I think you should focus on being humorous, intriguing, and safe. Teasing is part of being humorous, but negs I wouldn't recommend online.

  3. #3
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    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How to reverse a neg?

    Quote Originally Posted by cascadingsun View Post
    I am getting to grips with negs and jokey banter type conversations with girls at the moment. When I am talking to a girl I usually ask them a question, try to poke fun at their answer and then DHV by telling her something I know about the subject that makes me sound cool.

    I have seen how effective a good neg can be; you can just see it in their eyes when it hits its mark. However I am new to all of this and sometimes I can miss-calibrate my poking fun at her. This has happened a couple of times both infield and online. Do you guys have any advice for reversing a neg once you've done it?

    I usually just say, "I am only messing with you." or "I'm just joking around." but this can come across as apologetic which is pretty undesirable. Anyone have any advice on how to come back from a miss-calibrated neg?



    In particular I am puzzling over how to come back from this conversation on pof.com

    Me: Are you the kinda girl who takes forever to do their hair and make up, or does it just look that way?

    Her: That all depends! Are you the kind of guy who reads peoples profiles before messaging? Or do you just look at the pictures? :P

    Me: Ha ha, well a lot of people's profiles can be a bit generic. So lucky for you I went with just the pictures this time.

    This is clearly jokey, but she hasn't replied. How do I move on from here without apologising?
    YOUR reply wasn't bad.... but not as effective as other things you could have said.

    A more effective response to her question about "if you just look at the pictures" would've been:
    "Touche'!! Well played Sassy-pants! I can tell you're well-suited for battle. LOL! So anyway...blah blah blah"

    This confronts the question head-on, but with an "Alpha" response. It also shifts the conversation away from what could be an "iffy" subject, and allows you to remain in charge & control so to speak.

    Her question was basically a congruence / sh1t test, to see how you'd handle it.

    She obviously has a sharp-witted sense of humor & most likely a fair amount of intelligence. (and I can tell you from experience; THOSE kinds of girls are SOOOOO much fun to engage in flirty conversations!!)

    They eat up the playful teasing/bantering like candy.

    I'd wait a day or two, & then message her again.
    But in the meantime, start thinking of creative things to say.

    Don't necessarily try to re-engage by picking up where you left off though. Start from square one with a fresh, clean slate, & guide the conversation along.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    cascadingsun is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to reverse a neg?

    Thanks Batman. I know what your saying, I definitely need to work on these negs. Sounds like I havent been doing it quite right.

    Thanks tmalonetn I will use the "Touche'!! Well played Sassy-pants! I can tell you're well-suited for battle." (or a version of) line in future.


    I ended up getting back in there with this:

    Hey! dont be a big ole sour puss. I was only joshing with you. Your profile is great! it's like literally the best I've ever read! EVER!!!!

    Am I digging myself a new hole yet?



    And she replied:

    Lol your hot stuff!! so I will forgive you! :P my profile is pretty damn good!! I will give you that one! Lol Hope all is well and dandy?? X


    Cheers guys.


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