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  1. #1
    inter1010 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Dealing with a girl who has intimacy issues. Batman/Tmal please help!

    HEy Team,

    WHere to start!!

    Not sure if you all have read my previous posts. BUt I talk about a girl I'm interested in. Ive hung out with her a couple times. Got her in my bed once, fingered her but didn't fuck her cause i was wasted and had a buddy 5 feet away on a couch. haha. We are both in a weekly class together, so Im going to see her at least once a week. Anyways, here's my PROBLEM. I like her. Im not having one-itis cause I am having sex with a blonde hb 8.5 at the moment, but I can't get this girl out of my head. I hold an alpha frame, and get DHV'd a lot cause I standout in class. Im the best student there, EASILY!

    The thing with her is that she becomes distant after we get comfortable together. ex: The first time we hangout when I first met her we hooked up a little, and then the next week she barley made eye contact with me. The week after she barley started talking to me again etc etc... I obviously didn't care back then and left her alone til she reached out. Same thing happened when I got her to my place 3 weeks ago. We had a good time, fingered her bah blah, and we both passed out cuddling. She then doesn't show up to class for 2 weeks!! and is a little distant. Yesterday I call her up and we have a drink before class at a bar(ps. I never call or txt her ever!! only to arrange meet ups to hang out), have great conversation, I kino, make jokes etc... After class, our whole class goes to a bar and drinks. She basically sat at the bar with a classmate/buddy of mine(great looking dude) , and had a 1 1/2 hour convo with him... After she comes outside where the rest of us were and sits on another guy classmates lap. She always does this cause she's an attention whore and whatever, and I never react. BUt when I went outside, she was sitting in my chair. I told her to get off and go sit on the other guys lap again cause that was my chair!!(I don't think I came off as being pissed off at all, maybe just a little passive aggressive, but I did it with a smile on my face). I know she is attracted to other guys, as am I with other girls, but she can actually fuck them whenever she wants. This chicks super sexual and maybe a tease.

    SO, when she was leaving I walked her to her car, but realized I can't do this mr. nice guy thing after she talked to another guy for over an hour. So when we got to her car I threw her on her hood(playfully) and slapped her butt.. She said something like, "what are you trying to rape me or something" I laughed it off and said you suck and was walking away, but then LIKE AN IDIOT, asked her for a little hug!!!! FUCK!! so BETA of me. MIdhug I realized this and pushed her away playfully and left. I think she knows I like her now!! which she obviously already knew, but I know she likes me back, just not sure how much.


    I was so mad she didn't give me attention. I confronted my friend(the one she talked to for 2 hours) in a total ALPHA way, and confided in him that iM trying to make this girl my FWB and what I should do. He knows game very well and told me that this chick has INTIMACY ISSUES. He told me that SHE said she cut off the last 3 guys dead in their tracks, like she was a QUEEN BEE killing her workers. Like she was proud of what she did!...SHE is a weirdo, but I'm attracted to fucked up chicks... haha..

    So my questions are: How would you proceed?? I like her, would like to make her my FWB, but maybe LTR? Her having intimacy issues makes perfect sense in hindsight. EVerytime we got close she was so awkward. So was I , but I hide it better. SHould I call her/txt her at all?? .......IF I remove my emotions and give myself advice, I would just totally freeze her out(even though I never call or txt her) and be super charming and funny in class next week and then not go out drinking with the class after?? or should I bring a girl to our class hangouts and make her jealous??)Not sure on this one, cause of intimacy issue thing)........ DAmn boys, I need help!!!


    Inter1010

  2. #2
    Achilies's Avatar
    Achilies is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a girl who has intimacy issues. Batman/Tmal please help!

    dude this woman is farked

    if you a smart guy who is clearly outgoing, bark up another tree.. Do not demote yourself down to what a girl does and try to "fix" the other person.

    u said it yourself Freeze her out, do not go on any dates with her, don't really give her the time of day, this will drive her nuts... and if it doesn't, she was playing you a fool the whole time.

    [Achilies, please show respect towards women on these forums]

  3. #3
    inter1010 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a girl who has intimacy issues. Batman/Tmal please help!

    Mr Achiles,

    Thank You for the reality check Sir!!!.SHe is fucked!! So many red flags from the beginning, but I just kept on plowing through them and not paying attention... I know deep down when Im starting to let her have more of the control, so Im going to back off until she re-initiates contact. If she doesn't "cest la vie". Its funny in a sense that I know what I should do , its just that I need to hear it from someone else to validate it!! haha...

    Anyone else please chime in.


    I leave you all with a quote from Tyler Durden that made sense to me. "Scarcity gets you into BEAST mode" ...

    Think about it

    Inter1010

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Dealing with a girl who has intimacy issues. Batman/Tmal please help!

    Hmmm this is tricky, but I got some ideas.

    According to Mystery Method the basic steps are:

    1. Build Attraction
    (Qualification fits between steps 1 & 2, but isn't stated as a seperate step in Mystery Method.)

    2. Build Comfort

    3. Seduce her

    From what I have read from your post, I think you skipped comfort with her my friend. Which makes you a player

    But there is something within comfort that is more than just having good conversation about what you have in common. I'm talking about rapport.

    Rapport is simply "a sympathetic relationship." Do you know how people break up and make up and it seems like they just throw their pride and ego aside and look totally AFC/Beta? It's cause of that rapport. (there can be other factors, but this is the main one) Rapport has much to do with the mushy gushy stuff that players and "wannabePUAs" avoid.

    First get her into a laughing mood. Laughing releases those amazing endorphines which lower her mental guard and she will be more receptive to whatever material you throw at her. This has been called buying temperature.

    You have to reach an emotional connection with her. The best way is to show her that you understand her world and get her to understand yours. An easy way to establish this connection is through a cold read.

    Tell her that you know about her intimacy issues and that you have them to. That you are both afraid to let anyone in and become vulnerable because it seems people always let you down.

    Trust me, if you hit the nail anywhere near the head, she will light up. And on the rare occasion they may cry from the feeling of you understanding them better than anyone ever has before. This is instant rapport and you become a priority in her life.

    If you have something better to cold read about then use that. Just make sure you show her that you understand her and the world she lives in. Hope this helps and good luck.

  5. #5
    titan101 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dealing with a girl who has intimacy issues. Batman/Tmal please help!

    did i miss something ? what does this happen to do with batman ? this title is misleading. lol jk.

    she does sound like a weirdo, but like you i happen to be attracted to those types of girls as well.

  6. #6
    inter1010 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a girl who has intimacy issues. Batman/Tmal please help!

    Haha titan... the weird ones let you do anything you want in bed!!

    Thanks Batman..... I did built a lot of comfort. I just think she is a weird one. I know what I have to do. Im freezing her out. I already deleted our txts and her number. Just so I won't get the urge to throw a txt. haha..... Its so weird, she is just like my first love, and thats why I feel such a strong attraction. I have to choose better women to share my time with. Anyhow, I usually make mountains out of mole hills and analyze every word or pause in our conversations!!!, she is probably still super attracted to me. Or thats the way I always play it. ALWAYS ASSUME ATTRACTION. If she comes around I'll proceed from there. \\

    I was thinking of instantly Friendzoning her, and asking her advice on another girl I'm seeing??? What do you guys think?? ... Might be a good idea. Or else, I'll just continue the freeze out.

    Cheers,

    Inter1010


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