Thanks for this great forum!
I've been struggling in a bit controversial situation and I really need youf help

Now for some background:
I'm 41 yrs old, good looking and Yes married. Please dont say you cant help me since i'm married. I'll do it anyways, for the record, been faithful with my marriage for all these years except may be few flings here and there and yes i did it 2 times, long ago

Anyway, reading thru the forum and reading about the art in general and I realized that I'm a natural i guess because I've been pretty much doing the stuff that you guys teach here since I was 15-16 i think. I've enjoyed a satisfactory dating life until i got married. Women always, i mean almost always used to end up falling in love with me hard. So i did not experience any difficulties regarding the attraction, comfort, rapport and seduction

Soo lately i've met this pretty hottie,(27 yrs, alternative, graphical artist with sexy tattoos and she's a biker too )i was very honest with her ( marriage, kids etc. She commented later on that i was the first guy being honest with her like that and she said this was so refreshing.(classic! )
So after some bantering over facebook messages, she proposed that we should meet up sometime for a coffee ( I was kind of expecting that cause i knew for sure that the attraction was there, intrique and me being unavailable was there, remember i'm already taken) I also told her some stuff about herself that she said only one of her closest friends know this about her, she asked me how i knew it, told her i just felt it somehow, happens to me with certain people etc ( this cold reading always amazes me)

She lives close to my neighborhood so i asked her to come with me for a walk in the woods and pick up some blueberries, yes may be lame but i got her b surprise, because i intently told her that coffee is a great idea but i did not act on that on purpose so that i can stimulate her to take the action

Well she did. After the blueberry stuff we had some coffee at My place because the starbucks was closed due to holidays

We were able to connect more over the coffee and decided I'd cook for her the next night. Dinner was cool, lots of sexual talk, some more connection( childhood, stories,sex and IOI's were there)

However she got a little drunk and then nervous, apologized to me being this drunk and sadly asked me to drive her home. So i did.
Next morning i texted her a little teasingly about last night and suggested that it is my off day and I'm planning to watch a movie, she can join. I made it clear that i won't go out of the house because this is my relax day, i always take it easy on these days. she happily accepted it, eagerly,

Watching the movie and blah blah, and then I made a mistake which i never normally do (i guess i did because she was so hot and inviting)
I went for the kiss while she was not showing that she was ready for it.

She smiled and pulled back and told me that one thing will lead to another and we wont be able to stop it. At this point, in order to calibrate my behaviour, I told her not to worry because I wont take it to another level, not that i dont want it. Told her i wanted her but I can't do it because i'm married, kids etc.

Let's get over with this: yes I feel like an as...h..ll ,(

So she left for home in the evening cause she has to pack for a ten days vacation. Next day she sent me url link talking about multiorgasmic men
Well we had already talked about that during the dinner quite explicitly, i always felt very comfortable talking sex with women and they always felt great to be able talk sex in a very comfortable conversation

Anyway, after some few banter texts, she went to her vacation
On the first night she sent me a text she wrote "I can see the staaaarrrss"
This message was 11:30pm, i replied her with "amazing, enjoy it" around 01:00 am. I know that message was pretty lame.

Now tonite was her 3rd night on vacation and i did not call or message her since

Now, I'm totally lost here, i know she would be an easy catch for me if i was not married because it was quite easy in the past when i was single,

So what can you recommend taking my marriage and kids into consideration?
What can i do to make it work with her smoothly, oh sometimes i hate me

I really want this girl so please please dont tell me to shut up cause I'm married
PS : if any of the above needs some clarifying on my part, please let me know since English is not my native language

Thank you, really