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Thread: Met her at mall (friend of a friend), now what?

  1. #1
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    Default Met her at mall (friend of a friend), now what?

    I knew of this girl for a while (from a friend) so I sent her a Facebook add. Long story short, her and I ran into each other at a mall a few months back. She was so excited to see me in person that she insisted I try some of her Mac N Cheese (it made sense I'm just leaving the unimportant parts out), so me liking to try new things I had some, said it was good, blah blah blah. End day. Since then we haven't talked other than a quick Facebook comment, until today. Last night I had a dream about here, so.. I told her about it. Good call on my part because it turned out to be a great opener, but where do I go from here?

    This is our conversation so far:
    Me: I had a dream last night that you gave me your number, then we went to panera. Not sure why that happened, we probably had a blast though.... & Mac n cheese.

    Her: Hahaha awwhhh that's funny as f*** . first time I met you in person I fed you Mac n cheese. 4 free ;]

    What to say back? I was thinking of something like...
    Obviously that means you want me to have your number . As for the mac n cheese part, I'm thinking more of French food. It probably wont be free, but creme brulee is worth it
    Ideas? Comments?
    Thanks fellas!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Where to go from here

    The number is just a tool. Don't put too much weight on it. Try to come from the frame "She needs to give me a reason for me to want her to have my number."


    So keep some playful bantering then move to qualifying her. Once she starts asking you questions about you as a man, then its a perfect time to exchange numbers.

    Remember the phone number won't guarantee anything with her. Focus on your goal (whether its to sleep with her or make her an LTR) and you'll realize the phone number isn't a big deal.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Where to go from here

    'well I guess we should make dreams come true and meet again - but let me offer you something better than Mac and cheese this time'

    You've already met her. She was excited to see you. I would directly ask her out in this situation. You have already jumped a few hurdles forward by chance so careful not to u-turn or reverse your momentum. From what you have written I'm fairly confident she will say yes to a date straight away. You will get the number in the process of organizing the date details.

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    Default Re: Where to go from here

    So Batman, you're saying that I shouldn't put number closing on such a pedestal? Makes sense, the mindset I need to have is that she wants my number. Correct me if I'm not understanding.

    Any critiquing to what I have so far?

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    Default Re: Where to go from here

    The mindset you want is

    -You are the prize

    -She is trying to win you over

    -she's trying to sleep with you

    -you will only sleep with her if she meets your standards and expectations.

    Credit to Swinggcat who wrote Real World Seduction.

    You want to reach a point where she says or does something that catches your eye and THIS is the point you start to show interest. You don't want to betray the thought that you have already sexually qualified her in your mind. Make it known that she is slowly winning you over. Oh and watch the cocky behavior. Its possibly to overdo it. Just sprinkle it in.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Where to go from here

    Understood. Good stuff, thanks!

    Any examples though? I feel as if I'm on the right track, but I'd like to see a PUA's work.

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    Default Re: Where to go from here

    You can try a cold reading technique. Or at least bluff. My favorite is "I have this intuition about you, but before I tell you...strawberry or vanilla?"

    The best thing is to come up with a list of standards and screen her for them. Become genuinely curious if she meets your standards.

    Ultimately you want to get that emotional connection so that she feels she has EARNED your interest. That is.....if you didn't have time to do this is your first meeting. If you did then go with what whitedragon said and go straight for the date.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Where to go from here

    Quote Originally Posted by Bimmer View Post
    Understood. Good stuff, thanks!

    Any examples though? I feel as if I'm on the right track, but I'd like to see a PUA's work.
    Some examples could be some mild negging/teasing. 'I hope you're not always at the mall eating Mac and Cheese?'. Or 'so I shared my dream, what do you dream about? Tell me about some of your recent dreams'.

    Really though, one of the easiest ways is to get her to do most of the talking and you can trigger this by asking good questions. Not questions like 'what's your favourite color?' but questions like 'What is the happiest thing that happened to you in the last week? How did it make you feel?'. That question also potentially puts you into the picture. She may reveal meeting you was the happiest thing that happened to her. In fact if you want to be bold get her to admit to things first 'did you miss me?'. 'So why did you come out on a date with me?'. You are empowering yourself as the catch and honestly its a fairly straight forward confident thing to say. Most girls will go queasy and say it 'Yeah I missed you' or 'Well you seem like an interesting guy'. Or slowly you can get her to reveal a few of her insecurities, they almost always eventually do if you get them yapping on about their life: 'Oh I look terrible in high heels, I trip over everywhere'. You don't need to be mean but engineer it so she blabs on and on. She will think you both had a great conversation even though it was her that was doing all the talking. Because you patiently listened to it all (well maybe you got up and left she ends up being so boring) she will be attracted to you.

    This girl has actually already revealed her attraction to you and is chasing you by feeding you food, showing physical interest (beaming radiant smile). If you really want the ego of getting her number (its a minor detail and I don't know why everyone is obsessed with numbers and text games - it is pussy we want) then ask her out and start organising the date without asking. Somewhere along the line she will probably ask for it because you have 'forgotten'. But honestly it's irrelevent who asks who. She likes you, you will get her if you remain cool. You don't neccessarily have to be Richard Gere, just don't be clumsy. Most of the time when girls start to blabber on they end up saying the clumsy things and you are elevated by default. Also group situations can be worked to your advantage. The other week when I first met a girl we were around her friends. They had never met me but a few of them could see our mutual attraction and they teased her a bit in front of me. It was perfect. She got negged by her friends and it elevated me even more. I didn't have to do a thing...but she had to try just a little bit harder to win my attention. Good luck

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Where to go from here

    I feel like I'm already in and it would be nothing to get a date. I'm more of an "in person" guy anyway. IMing and texting is my handicap until I get to know the person.. something I'm working on.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Where to go from here

    If you think you're in then definitely go for the date. The screening process works much better in person. But don't underestimate text game in case you didn't have time to build attraction with a woman. Good luck and leave an update.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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