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Thread: I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

  1. #1
    peel is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

    Hey guys,
    I have no real sexual experience but Ive been cold approaching on college campus for a while now. I think maybe around a dozen total approaches over my life. Recently, Ive been having more success with actual phone numbers by playing the friend part more. Honestly, I felt no urge to text or call these girls or even ask for their numbers. Some were pretty good looking but I guess I found no connection personality-wise and I physically cant stand faking an interest in someone because I think its bullsh1t. Ive lost motivation and usually it takes hours for me to stop chickening out on a daily basis and make a single approach so lately Ive been just deciding not to try today because whats the point? Plus I waste hours every day chickening out. Thoughts? Also, I still feel strong urges of sexual frustration when I see a good looking girl but then I get the 'probably another girl I'll find extremely boring'
    I tried to think back to when I found it interesting and it was one of the first girls I had a decent text conversation with and thinking back it was more about decent connection interest-wise, decent attractiveness and the thrill of the hunt.

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

    This is just my opinion because I've dealt with this myself years ago and even have a family member who does this.

    And that's justifying not becoming the sexual man you can be because women don't meet your standards. You can't use that as a crutch. Real standards come with experience and you don't have to make every woman you sleep with a girlfriend. So don't use that as an excuse to not escalate because you are "bored" easily. It's just another excuse to not even try in the first place. Sorry if this sounded harsh, but again I've been in this spot before.

    In my experience most women are very interesting. Whether they are smart, dumb, party girls, conservative, drug addicts, video gamers, astrologists etc. You can almost ALWAYS find something interesting about them even if its one or two things. Some of the biggest techniques I've learned were from observing drunk party girls, so don't write them off. They have interesting sides to them as well. Hope this helps and good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
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    topgunningit is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

    So Batman, I mean Bruce Wayne lol, whats up bruh. I have a question, so dont you think he will fall asleep in the middle of the convo? I met this hot, tall, super hot girl last weekend and after my opener I asked her a question to get the ball going and I totally fell asleep when she began rambling on for 5mins without any interruptions. One of the reason being is that after she began talking to me, I do not want to be rude, but her personality was that of a very dull girl. I think I have seen a thread here somewhere where someone mentions the same thing about mentally staying focus and interested even when the conversation is dull? While talking to her I began looking at other girls passing by and I said to myself "Did she see me looking? Oopss? ... uhh dohhh "

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    This is just my opinion because I've dealt with this myself years ago and even have a family member who does this.

    And that's justifying not becoming the sexual man you can be because women don't meet your standards. You can't use that as a crutch. Real standards come with experience and you don't have to make every woman you sleep with a girlfriend. So don't use that as an excuse to not escalate because you are "bored" easily. It's just another excuse to not even try in the first place. Sorry if this sounded harsh, but again I've been in this spot before.

    In my experience most women are very interesting. Whether they are smart, dumb, party girls, conservative, drug addicts, video gamers, astrologists etc. You can almost ALWAYS find something interesting about them even if its one or two things. Some of the biggest techniques I've learned were from observing drunk party girls, so don't write them off. They have interesting sides to them as well. Hope this helps and good luck.
    ------------------------------------

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

    Set other challenges. Yes lots of girls you meet are borring. Get their numbers anyway, then don't call if you don't want to.

    Maybe you'll change your mind, maybe not. Either way, it makes it much easier to find what you do want. Approach, enjoy the approach, enjoy the game of it, and you will find someone who really does peak your interest.

    Meanwhile enjoy the game for gamesake. If you don't play, you won't be ready when the one you're looking for comes along.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  5. #5
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    Default Re: I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

    Lol yes I've had a few of those topgunnit. The point is to keep pushing through. And the cool thing about a girl that doesn't interest you is that they are perfect for getting out of your comfort zone and trying out new techniques. Not to just give up because you saw one or two things or the convo was boring. Just keep pushing and test your limits. You'll gain experience so you'll know what to do when you finally DO meet the one you like. Practice makes perfect
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
    peel is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

    Thanks for the advice guys. I will try it out. However, I truly dont feel any point pursuing anything physical with these girls sometimes. Maybe it's just because they get less attractive physically the closer I get and then their boring personality just seals the deal. Maybe Im just not approaching my optimal physical standards enough.
    I dont know about testing techniques or stuff. That sounds kind of manipulative and using someone for other means. I did find interesting though that you said almost every girl you found something interesting about. That inspired me a bit because I realized maybe it may be me since I find most girls boring. I know I am a pretty boring guy so that may be part of the cause but Im not entirely sure how to solve this.
    When you said 'whether theyre dumb, smart, etc.' and you listed all these categories and told me you can almost find something interesting about them, that really piqued my interest. I keep thinking I find this girl boring because all she does is party or she is really dumb. Maybe those are excuses? I do ask a lot of questions but it doesnt seem to lead to any discovery of something interesting like you said though

  7. #7
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

    Manipulation entails that you have to lie to get what you want. Some PUAs lie, but I prefer not to. Instead I like to use the word "influence." Where I am conscious of whatever technique I'm using, but everything I say is true, then it's just influence.

    This is where standards can help you alot. Find traits in a woman that you want. Keep it limited to under 5 things. Then get her to show you that she has those traits.

    "Whats the most romantic/adventurous/spontaneous/dangerous thing you've ever done."

    "If you were famous, what would you want to be famous for?"

    "What do you care most about a serious relationship?"

    They usually give at least half decent answers. Lets say she says the most important thing is trust to her.

    "Really? Trust is hard to come by. Is there a time where your trust was tested?"

    Then you use an SOI to let her know that you now have a genuine interest in her other than her looks, even if you have to exaggerate your interest a little bit lol.

    I have a set of red flags. If I see any of them then I immediately write her off. Lets say she is dumb or a party girl. But that doesn't mean I have to make her a girlfriend if I sleep with her or that I couldn't find SOMETHING interesting about her. She would just end up being a good time. Plus women bring value into your life other than sex. Say she could make a good wingman or help you get a job/car/house because she's a real estate agent or a car sales person. These things are hidden around all of us and that's why we at least have to talk to them. I personally gotten a job from a woman who is now one of my closest friends and I've never done anything with her. And she regularly introduces me to women so half the work is done for me.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  8. #8
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

    Quote Originally Posted by peel View Post
    Thanks for the advice guys. I will try it out. However, I truly dont feel any point pursuing anything physical with these girls sometimes. Maybe it's just because they get less attractive physically the closer I get and then their boring personality just seals the deal. Maybe Im just not approaching my optimal physical standards enough.
    I dont know about testing techniques or stuff. That sounds kind of manipulative and using someone for other means. I did find interesting though that you said almost every girl you found something interesting about. That inspired me a bit because I realized maybe it may be me since I find most girls boring. I know I am a pretty boring guy so that may be part of the cause but Im not entirely sure how to solve this.
    When you said 'whether theyre dumb, smart, etc.' and you listed all these categories and told me you can almost find something interesting about them, that really piqued my interest. I keep thinking I find this girl boring because all she does is party or she is really dumb. Maybe those are excuses? I do ask a lot of questions but it doesnt seem to lead to any discovery of something interesting like you said though
    you have to bring a positive playful mindset to each interaction if you don't want it to be a job interview its your job to bring out the 'fun' side of her, some girls are cold fish,but most have something interesting about them that makes them unique. no two girls are the same and you are bound to find some interesting girls, if you don't talk about interesting things, don't expect them to. sorry if that sounds a little harsh,but its truthful
    if your having trouble making convorsation,heres an article that might help

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-flirt/3...versation.html
    best of luck, meteora

  9. #9
    nik's Avatar
    nik
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    Default Re: I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

    Quote Originally Posted by peel View Post
    Hey guys,
    I have no real sexual experience(1)...
    but Ive been cold approaching on college campus for a while now. I think maybe around a dozen total approaches over my life(2).
    ...Recently, Ive been having more success with actual phone numbers by playing the friend part more.
    ...Honestly, I felt no urge to text or call these girls or even ask for their numbers. Some were pretty good looking but I guess I found no connection personality-wise (3) and I physically cant stand faking an interest in someone because I think its bullsh1t.
    ...Ive lost motivation and usually it takes hours for me to stop chickening out on a daily basis and make a single approach so lately Ive been just deciding not to try today because whats the point? Plus I waste hours every day chickening out. Thoughts(4)?
    ...Also, I still feel strong urges of sexual frustration when I see a good looking girl but then I get the 'probably another girl I'll find extremely boring'(5)
    I tried to think back to when I found it interesting and it was one of the first girls I had a decent text conversation with and thinking back it was more about decent connection interest-wise, decent attractiveness and the thrill of the hunt.(6)


    You are making excuses for them rejecting you (even in the absence of the deed) and making excuses to justify you not even approaching or attempting to engage theses women you see. Every woman you don't hit on is a woman you will never sleep with. You probably tell youself they just arent good enough, for you; they don't deserve you.

    (1) Why is this? Are you waiting for love? Have you had opportunity?

    (2) "Cold approaching for a while"..."maybe around a dozen total approaches over my life". In very few things does a dozen times make you experienced or your experience relevant to the big picture.

    I've done dozens of approaches in a few hours, at one bar. I have heard it said: you have to talk to ten women to get a number, Call ten numbers to get a date, Go on ten dates to get laid. Obviously, these are not hard numbers, but it is a good example.

    (3) What do you mean you found no connection personality-wise? You could observe me talking to any of these women and they would be desirable to you. If the conversation stagnates or becomes boring, it is your fault. A good conversationalist can keep it going and fun for everyone.

    Many men have this issue, they think they are too boring to keep a woman's attention. I have never met anyone who truly represented this, man or woman.

    If you're not asking for their nubers, you haven't allowed yourself to be successful. You showed up to the game, but didn't suit up.

    (4) You're afraid of rejection. That is easy to see. The fix is also easy. I have posted about it in the past, but you have to accept rejection. Instead of justifying it as THEY aren't this or THEY aren't that, make them let you down later.

    I used to do an exercize, for myself, where I would go out and refuse to accept "yes" for an answer. I would choose a number, usually five, and ask that many women out before I left campus. I would try, but keep pushing until I got them to shoot me down. It amazed me how many said "yes" early on and how far they would let me take things when I wasn't concerned about the outcome. It takes balls, but try it, try it with women you have never seen before.

    (5) There you go, excluding her instead of making her exclude her self. You've already put her on a pedestal. Make her actually reject you. You don't have the right to choose for her.

    (6) A text-conversation is not a firm foundation of past experience to build a budding woman-chasing career, but if that's what you've got, that's what we'll work with. Yes, the thrill of the hunt is often the best part. It is what keeps many from having a girlfriend; however, that's not the case, with you. If it was, you would be a much better hunter, by now (and you would be having a ton of fun). Look back at what you found exciting about that conversation and know it is barely the surface of what possibilities can be held. Convince yourself, of that.
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  10. #10
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    nik
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    Default Re: I dont feel like playing a fake part anymore

    peel, you've logged in, but not responded to a few of our posts. Do you have any thoughts?
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.


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