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Thread: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

  1. #11
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    This is exactly what I've been noticing. Its different if this is a brand new woman who really has no investment or stake with you. She doesn't care and that's why you pretend its all cool.

    You have to be a man with standards. Eventually she will care and that's when you start to show her that things she does upset you. If you built enough attraction that she takes you walking away as a loss in her life then definitely call her on it.

    Being "cool" about everything only teaches her ......guess what......that you're COOL with everything. She will definitely take advantage and flake. She will go on a date with a guy she KNOWS will walk away if she messes up than with you because she knows "you'll be cool" about it.

    You've already slept with her so you have all the rights to do this. Tell her simply "I don't associate myself with people that behave that way." This totally cuts her off of your fun reality and her heart will drop since she is no longer welcome into your clubhouse. (Best clubhouse in the city mind you)

    I had a woman who I was dating regularly (slept with) go through a phase for about a month of constant flaking and me being cool with it. Eventually I got fed up and when I bumped into her at the club I waved her off and went and danced with other girls for the rest of the night. She was pissed for the rest of the night and even text me "Have a goodnight asshole" to which I responded "Thanks you to." Long story short she began to put more effort. Its been a few months since and she actually makes plans to see me and follows through. It blew my mind. So i think everyone needs to STOP being COOL about everything and show that she upsets you. Just don't turn into a spazoid.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  2. #12
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Thanks batman, thats awesome advice and exactly what i was looking to hear. I get the feeling that everyone always supports this "its cool" attitude with flakes and i dont always agree for every situation. Cant let people walk all over you.

    Now in my situation... since its been a couple days since the flake, is it ok to call her out on it still? Seems like that would only work the next day or soon after? And what should i say? Plus the fact that i know through a friend that her car was towed that day of the flake...

  3. #13
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    BATMAN: Awesome rant! I love it and agree 100%!

    Everyone knocks David D but he drilled the 'neg them for flaking' into my head and I've had nothing but success with it.

    First rule is ALWAYS consider YOUR time valuable. ALWAYS put yourself above any woman.

    If she doesn't find/make time for you, then what do you have??? NOTHING!

    If she continues to skip out on you, what are you left with??? NOTHING.

    Why keeping after a woman who is GIVING YOU NOTHING???

    And few AFC understand that it isnt a matter of getting all 'You suck cuz you flaked. Dont talk to me anymore!'

    It's simply a matter of acknowleging it, negging her palyfully about it (but DEF making sure you get the balance of funny/serious right) and then leaving her alone and getting on with your life. She WILL come back if you've done well up to that point.

    RANDO: Please leave her alone for two weeks at least. I didn't read correctly before of how you slept with her on numerous occasions. That fact plus her flaking kinda signals to me (as Batman said) that she knows she's got you. She most likely sees you as needy and she prob thinks she controls your sex life (in a way).
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
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  4. #14
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    I would wait until she is in, what I call, receptive mode. Where she will be less resistant to what you have to say. Being indifferent towards her first and getting her to ask what's wrong is a good way to put her in receptive mode. Or you could wait until she asks to meet up again. In that case then tell her "Look, I don't associate myself with people who do that." Almost make it sound like she's got a disease that you don't want to catch. Complete disconnect.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #15
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    I would wait until she is in, what I call, receptive mode. Where she will be less resistant to what you have to say. Being indifferent towards her first and getting her to ask what's wrong is a good way to put her in receptive mode. Or you could wait until she asks to meet up again. In that case then tell her "Look, I don't associate myself with people who do that." Almost make it sound like she's got a disease that you don't want to catch. Complete disconnect.
    Well i havnt been initiating contact with her anymore, so when you say wait till shes in receptive mode... theres no guarantee that ill even talk to her anytime soon. Most likely i will though in a weekend or two as theres a good chance she'll text me.

    So are you saying to just leave it indefinatly if she dosnt contact me? Or say something to break the ice in a week or two... then see where this stuff goes from there. At this point im kind of indifferent so im almost hoping she makes up a plan and flakes... so i can experiment haha.

  6. #16
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    I like your attitude now... how your going to use her to experiment. Be ready to let this girl go. It'll help you keep the right attitude.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  7. #17
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Alright guys, had to resurrect this post. Now about a different girl though. I'll try to keep it short, but would appreciate some comments/help.

    Theres this girl that I've been talking to for awhile now, ONLY over text. I've tried to call once but she didn't answer. Got her number online awhile back. We set up a date 2 weeks ago, she flaked at the last minute. Could have been a legitamate excuse, not sure. Regardless.. I backed off, she continues to text me (as well as I her sometimes).

    A few days ago, she says to me "I'm free thursday, if you want to ask me on a date " and I agree, but since it was further off in the week, I didn't find it necessary to make the exact plans then and there. Yesterday I brought it up as though it was implied, and she gave me wishy washy answers (I might have to work late, I can try). I let it be, as I didn't want to be annoying to her. Today, I sent her ONE text around noon saying:

    "heyy. So tonight you can come down by me and we can get some drinks, or if you wind up working a little later, I can pick you up at your house and we can go out by you for a bit?" Just trying to figure out plans...

    No response. Wtf. SHE asked me out, then flakes on me again.

    What should I do with this girl now. I'm sure she'll text me in a day or two, and this cycle will begin again. Should I call her out on this BS at this point? Totally ignore her? Or play along for another week or two?

  8. #18
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    A girl will respect you more for calling her out when she's not taking you or your time seriously, than she would if you let her continue walking all over you. (metaphorically speaking.)

    Girls don't want a timid guy. They want someone who will take charge & be confident, & stand up for himself. But if the guy is a pushover, then she's not going to invest anything into him.

    So, Call her out for flaking.

    Give her a cute little nickname like "Flake-face" or "Flaky McFlakenheimer" & let her know you're disappointed that she doesn't respect your time.

    Be polite & calm, but definitely put your foot down.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  9. #19
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    So after the last text I sent, think I should just leave it today then? call her out tomorrow?

    Or follow up with one more text like "so which is it gonna be miss?"

  10. #20
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Anyone? Or otherwise just "so what you thinking?" Anything to get her to break the silence..


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