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Thread: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

  1. #1
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Guys,

    I know the usual consensus is no.... but do you think it ever might be productive to call a girl out on flaky behavior?

    Ive got this girl that ive slept with a few times, kind of died out, but still contacts me ocassionally, sets up plans, sounds excited, then the day of flakes or dosnt respond etc.

    Ive kind of written her off, and dont generally initiate contact with her, but its anoying because id like to see her. So far ive never called her out, but this has gone on too long now.

    This weekend she said "we should definatly hang out saturday :-)" and then when icontacted her the day of.. no response.

    Im thinking of texting her ssomething today like "what happened to you last night, were you abducted by aliens and throughly probed?" Or some joke text... not really appearing pissed. Then seeing if shed redeem herself by meeting up today.

    Good idea or bad?

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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    If you call them out in a way that is "being affected" by their behavior, then don't. Don't text anything that references their behavior:
    "Hey, what happened?..."
    "Where did you go?..."
    "Are you asleep?..."
    "Hello... you there?"

    These all acknowledge the fact that she stopped texting and it affected you.

    Instead text them something because it crossed your mind and amused you - slightly at her expense - and make it a neg.

    "Did you get distracted by pictures of cats on facebook?"

    ...can't think of any more. Usually I just NC for a day or so then text again on a new convo thread.

    "Just saw a girl who looks like you but with short hair - it looks nice that way."

    Here's one I just thought of that I don't recommend but is funny.

    "Step out in the snow and get all frosted, you'll be grrrrrrrreat! because you're a flake "
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  3. #3
    LBpua2012 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Been flaked on before. take my advice, leave her alone for a while. I got the attention of a girl I liked by seeing other hot girls and them tagging us on (yes facebook) so she knows I'm living my life and not moping around over the flakiness. wish I could help more.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    next time she says that you two should hangout say you cant. say you have some errands to do. if you accept her every offer to hang out she will think you are waiting to hang out with her. you need to prove you have a life and you are busy and if she wants to stay in it she better now flake
    im on a different level

  5. #5
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Quote Originally Posted by LBpua2012 View Post
    Been flaked on before. take my advice, leave her alone for a while. I got the attention of a girl I liked by seeing other hot girls and them tagging us on (yes facebook) so she knows I'm living my life and not moping around over the flakiness. wish I could help more.
    I agree with you on the leave her alone for awhile. Problem is that its a cycle... she flakes, I do leave her alone... go NC for as long as a week sometimes, then either I hear from her again the next weekend about hanging out, or I've on occasion texted her as well "I'll be out doing ________ friday night, meet up!". Then the cycle starts all over again.

    And hopeful you're right. I know that this is one of my downfalls that I am working on. Alot of my friends even point it out to me "dude you should just blow her off, she's not going to like you if you keep ______" . I just usually find it hard... because when you want to hang out with someone, and then they make a "plan", I usually get kind of excited about it.

  6. #6
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Ok so get this...game changer on this particular situation?

    The girl that said lets hang out saturday, then didnt respond to my text.... got her car towed during the day and couldnt get it out till today. Her friend told me, and basically said she was really pisses, had no car, and wasnt in a mindset to go out... i dont blame her.

    I havnt sqid anything to her so far.... but i was thinking of just sending her "i heard somebody got her car towed. Phone lost for a week, then car towed... ouch "

    Just to be playful- keep myself in her mind.

    What do you think about this text? Evoke a positive response, neutral, or piss her off?

  7. #7
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    No offense but i completely disagree with not calling out the flaking. U are pretending its not affecting u and nothing changes. Y keep acting that way? NOTHING is changing! She knows she has control. There is no excitement to u in her mind.

    Dont call her every weekend. If she txts, tell her your going to be out with otger girls... dont invite her. If she pushes saying like 'we should hang out. I miss u etc' tell her your busy. AND call her out on flaking... in a funny way but call her out. She has done this so much that she doesnt respect your time. Be totally prepared to eject if she doesnt change.

    Oh and if you do run into her over the course of trying all this, keep a fun attitude. Do not show u are affected emotionally. But neg her for flaking!

    (I think neg for flaking isnt the norm but in this situation i would DEF try it)
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  8. #8
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Quote Originally Posted by LockDown View Post
    No offense but i completely disagree with not calling out the flaking. U are pretending its not affecting u and nothing changes. Y keep acting that way? NOTHING is changing! She knows she has control. There is no excitement to u in her mind.

    Dont call her every weekend. If she txts, tell her your going to be out with otger girls... dont invite her. If she pushes saying like 'we should hang out. I miss u etc' tell her your busy. AND call her out on flaking... in a funny way but call her out. She has done this so much that she doesnt respect your time. Be totally prepared to eject if she doesnt change.

    Oh and if you do run into her over the course of trying all this, keep a fun attitude. Do not show u are affected emotionally. But neg her for flaking!

    (I think neg for flaking isnt the norm but in this situation i would DEF try it)
    I am staring more and more to agree with this view. I understand the importance about notcoming across as needy or emotionally effected, as well as blowing her off a time or two to gain the upper hand. But i also agree that if you keep ignoring it, nothing changes. The cycle continues.

    Could someone give me an idea of what to text her? I want to point out that i acknowledge the flake saturday, but joke about the fact that her car was towed, and therefore a free pass was in order. Im stuck on what to say. Examples please?!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Leave it alone. Dont txt anything .If she texts u try 'Sorry. You missed last werk (or whenever it was). That was your last chance. But thanks for playing :-p'

    The tongue out implies your playing but she cant be sure. It will set off things in her mind. She might txt back lol or something and nothing more. In about two weeks (if you played it cool and didnt txt her) she will txt u about hanging. Act skeptical that she will show up. Set up something with little meaning (like lunch or shopping) BUT do it on a day where u will go out after that without her. That way u avoid neediness and show u have a life.

    If she wants to respond right away (after the sample text i gave) think carefully before u respond. She MAY try to test u when u show some balls. DO NOT RUSH YOUR RESPONSE in this case. Pass her tests!

    Also think about oneitis. Could that be your problem?
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  10. #10
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: calling a girl out on flaky behavior... ever ok?

    Quote Originally Posted by LockDown View Post
    Leave it alone. Dont txt anything .If she texts u try 'Sorry. You missed last werk (or whenever it was). That was your last chance. But thanks for playing :-p'

    The tongue out implies your playing but she cant be sure. It will set off things in her mind. She might txt back lol or something and nothing more. In about two weeks (if you played it cool and didnt txt her) she will txt u about hanging. Act skeptical that she will show up. Set up something with little meaning (like lunch or shopping) BUT do it on a day where u will go out after that without her. That way u avoid neediness and show u have a life.

    If she wants to respond right away (after the sample text i gave) think carefully before u respond. She MAY try to test u when u show some balls. DO NOT RUSH YOUR RESPONSE in this case. Pass her tests!

    Also think about oneitis. Could that be your problem?
    I like this advice and example text, gives some good ideas. Will give something like this a try in the future (if needed ha).

    And yes i am aware that oneitis is kind of a problem.... at the moment. Not always like that. Current prospects have kind of gone dry, working on trying to get some more numbers. Had some good interactions last wknd, but no closes.. see my thread "last night good, but cockblocked/fight with friend/wing!!!"

    I know its wrong, but i really feel like texting this girl something about the car being towed! I feel it wouldnt hurt to break the silence with one msg? That way she may be more apt to asking me out this wknd... and then i can play the game lol...

    If its a horrible idea to text her... call me out on it. But just really tempted to stay in touch


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