I've never posted on here before but I came across these forums tonight trying to find help and I think this might be a place where I can get some good advice... Basically I'm really confused about this situation, and I'll try to keep it as brief as possible but it's a bit of a story-
So there's this girl that I have some history with from around 6 years ago. I never closed the deal with her although we messed around some and she was memorable for being generally aggressive and uninhibited sexually. I had one chance to bang her, but literally with her pants down and legs spread before me I made some excuse not to have sex, because I was so turned on that I knew I would ejaculate in a matter of seconds & I didn't want the embarassment. Anyway, for other complicated reasons we ended up parting on bad terms and I haven't seen her for years, and it's always bothered me that I never farked this girl.
We've ended up reconnecting, we went out a couple times about a month ago but she indicated that she wanted a relationship and due to some drug and alcohol problems she has I told her that it wouldn't work out (she is someone I might under other circumstances consider a relationship with, she's unbelievably smart and a really talented artist, and we connect in certain ways that can be great, but like I said there are the drugs/alcohol, and also because of the drug/alcohol problems I can't really say that I've met *her* as she truly is, only her drunk/stoned). Point is, I still wanna fark her.
We hung out again yesterday, I thought maybe we could get a friends with benefits thing going. She bought me lunch, and we talked, and she mentions this guy she's been hanging out with some and how he's made her really upset and depressed, because she let him take some pictures of her she wishes he hadn't, in which she's sticking a bottle in her p-ssy and he's putting out cigarettes on her ass. Wtf. (I should mention she's really open about talking about things that most people would never tell anybody). She says she's been so depressed that she went to visit her family in her home state and even considered moving out of the city we live in, that she hates this guy.
I get really disgusted but also slightly turned on by the sheer sluttiness of it, mostly disgusted though and just get quiet for a while. I also become intensely insecure, because I've never even farked this girl and this guy's doing what exactly, I mean who is he? Then we go to my apartment and hook up a bunch but stop short of sex, I mean I'm sucking her breasts and rubbing her p-ssy and everything, we're going kind of hard, but she doesn't want to go all the way, she says she's worried this other guy gave her herpes, she shows me something on her p-ssy that I don't know what it was but she indicates it could be herpes, I couldn't really tell, and she's waiting to hear back from the clinic. She also indicates that she's feeling messed up about this guy still, I don't know what the reason she doesn't want to fark is, both reasons? one? neither? Then she reiterates how much she hates this guy.
So I say "yeah well tell him I say hi tonight." because guess what, she's still supposed to hang out with him that night to get some coke and do whatever else! She says she's gonna call him and cancel and I just say do whatever you want.
Then last night (this was all yesterday) she sends me a message on fbook that just says "your so sexy." I write back "you are" which I guess was kind of lame but whatever.
Anyway earlier tonight on fbook I message her, we talk a little and it finishes up like this:
ME- I gotta go just saying hi,
HER- ok.. talk to you later
thinking abt u
ME- you too
I don't know if you want to hang out again or whatever, I wasn't really clear on what was going on w you & the clinic & that guy or whatever yesterday, but let me know if you figure things out
HER- i sure will
ME- Ok, goodnight
I'm sorry this ended up being such a long message, to be honest I'm confused to where I don't even know what details to include and what not to, I just know I seriously could use advice! I mean, I know I want to bang this girl, I said that thing to her in the fbook convo about figuring things out because my fear is that she just wants to string me along, like never actually have sex, and I wanted her to know that I'm not into that, but now I feel like maybe I just came off sounding like I was basically saying "I only want you for sex," which could be a major turnoff to her I guess. I really don't know. Please help.