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  1. #1
    DarbyPUA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Online -> Text, need help escalating for this AFC in reform

    Hey guys,

    I’ve been a chump most of my life and I’ve decided to start working on becoming a boss. I could use some help on escalating this encounter. This is my first time utilizing anything from the PUA community.

    I met this girl online and I think I opened decently. (This is a private message).

    I rarely check {website} more than every few months, but today as a fellow {location} your post was {featured}. I took this as a sign so I wrote you a tanka (because haikus are overrated).

    Hello {HB}
    I’d ask what you’re doing, but
    I already know
    You’re wasting time on {website}
    When didn’t you hear, the world (is going to end this year)

    Close enough. I’m Darby and to the best of my knowledge was born approximately 24 years ago. If my literary creation woo’d you then you can send payment to {phone number}. I also accept Visa, Mastercard, and equally as ingenious poems.
    The poem obviously sucks, but it’s a step up from the “Hey what’s up?” that I know she was spammed with. I got a text from her shortly thereafter and here is what follows (with comments):

    HB: Hi. I'm HB. 2:16 PM I was hoping she'd try to send a poem, but a text still shows interest.
    Me: Hey {Shortened nickname for HB}, I bet my favorite movie could beat up your favorite movie. -Darby 3:49 PM I modified an opener I saw somewhere. Seemed to work.
    HB: Well tell you favorite movie good luck, cause mind is RocknRolla 3:56 PM
    HB: Mine* 3:58 PM
    Me: You can’t top Iron Sky. They’re Nazis... from the moon! Hey if you’re into that whole seasoned criminal thing then we won’t work, I only started robbing banks earlier this year. 4:14 PM Trying to inject humor by referencing her favorite movie, also maybe get into a role play.
    HB: Well damn. I guess you better possess some other honorable and manly traits. 4:17 PM Good reception.
    Me: I once wrestled a grizzly bear, I have a gym in my living room, and I know how to build a house with my bare hands. Two of these are true. 4:26 PM I tried to reply in a way here that was somewhat interesting and leaves her thinking. I also interjected this here to have conversation later. I have no idea how to build a house. One of my school's mascots was a grizzly bear so there's that.
    HB: I like my chances on you being able to build a house with your bare hands WHILE westling a bear. 4:28 PM
    Me: Talk about high standards! If I’m going to build us a house while simultaneously fighting off an army of bears then you’d better cook me dinner! 4:36 PM This lead nice into a mini-roleplay, I made sure to use the " us mentality."
    HB: Well as it happens to be, I'm an outstanding cook. 4:37 PM
    Me: Well that settles it. I just so happen to be outstanding at consuming food. It’s perfect, let’s get married, {HB-nickname}. 4:45 PM
    HB: Lol do you even want to know my real name? 4:46 PM At this point I don't even know her real name. I had absolutely 0 idea on how to respond to this.
    Me: Hey I don’t judge. There’s a non-zero chance your name could have been {HB's username}. There’s a senator named Mike Crapo and another guy named Young Boozer. 4:58 PM Not happy with this, I probably should have I just said something like "I'd love to know." But I wanted to try to be funny and ended up with a sh1tty joke.
    HB: Haha thats true. Its HBIRL by the way. 4:59 PM She just gives me her first name while at this point she knows my first and last since it was my username
    Me: Alright I have you saved on my phone, Ms. HB. 5:19 PM I jokingly call her by Real first name and then her fake last name
    HB: Haha so are you really Mr. Darby? 5:20 PM
    Me: What can I say, I’m honorable and manly enough to post under my real name. If you find yourself in distress, just call {my number again, it spells my name} 5:24 PM
    HB: Wow. Lol 5:26 PM
    HB: I saw your website hah 5:29 PM I have a 1 page website that's really easy to find. It basically says 1 line about me and then lists my email and phone number.
    Me: Commence background check. Are you friends with OAG? Do I need to install more locks on my door? 5:38 PM I missed the mark here. I wanted to tease about the stalker behavior but once again my joke kind of sucked.
    HB: Lmao ouch. 5:38 PM
    Me: I might not entirely mind. ;-) Did you find the grizzly bear yet? That part was true. 5:44 PM Meh.
    HB: No luck yet. I wish we could talk over the phone cause its hard to connect through these lifeless sentences. It seems artificial. 5:47 PM I should have called right then (I think). The fact that she asked for a phone call means I think I've at least built some attraction. I ended up d1cking around for 40 minutes and then tried calling, but it went straight to voicemail and I hung up. Fail.
    Me: We’ll have to talk sometime then. Maybe once I finish helping my slacker friend with his research report. 6:47 PM Damage control. I was hoping her phone did not show that I tried to call.
    HB: Thats sounds good. Except for the report part. Reports are no good. 7:30 PM

    Two days later:

    Me: Congratulations! 5:28 PM
    HB: For?! 6:41 PM
    Me: I was just thinking of you. Congratulations! 6:44 PM
    HB: I thought you forgot about me! 6:50 PM
    Me: Sorry, school has me slammed. 7:00 PM Subtly injecting that I am a busy person. Also not ending with a question to see if she will invest in the conversation.
    HB: Its all good. Im in the same boat.-.- 7:08 PM I was hoping for a question here, no luck.
    Me: The good news is I'm almost done. What are you taking? 7:14 PM So I try to take initiative
    HB: {generic classes}. kinda basic. I was out of college for awhile. 7:16 PM Closed answer. This sucks, yeah? I didn't see this going anywhere beneficial so I stopped there.
    That last session was intended more as a ping. I didn't have time to talk with her on the phone, but I thought that waiting any more than 48 hours to reply again would be too much. I didn't want to get into a huge text session either as I should be escalating. I either need to get her on the phone or meet her in person.

    Things I need to do:

    • Exchange pictures? She might have found my facebook, but I don't know. The only public picture is the profile one. I know what she looks like from one of her old posts, but I think she might have tried to delete it so it isn't established I know. (Potential Problem: My phone doesn't do MMS--this makes several transitions for pictures more awkward, I think.)
    • From her post history I know where she works and found her facebook. I was thinking about playing off my previous stalker comment with something like, "In response to your OAG behavior, I ended up checking your history to make sure I'm not going to get raped." or something like that.
    • Move to day 2.

    I really have no idea what to do at this point. She's an HB6 if that matters. She has shown interest in a phone call, but I don't think I should be randomly calling. I need to call when I know she'll pick up. I'd rather just escalate to a date, but I'm not sure if she has saw my photo yet (on facebook) so I don't know if her comfort level is high enough.

    I haven't dated anyone since high school and I'm also a virgin. Her post history reveals she broke up with her last BF a few months ago and I'm pretty sure she's not a virgin. I have my own apartment and I think she does as well. I'd definitely fark this girl but really I just need practice in these situations.

    Any advice is appreciated! Thanks guys.
    Last edited by DarbyPUA; 09-20-2012 at 06:31 AM. Reason: Should be fixed.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Online -> Text, need help escalating for this AFC in reform

    You definitely have her attention & you did a decent job with the message exchange. Just be careful not to look like you're trying too hard to be funny.
    (Humor should have a genuine, natural flow & feel about it.)

    When she mentioned she was ready to talk on the phone, you absolutely could have called her. That would not have been beta. After all, that's one of the early goals: Get the girl comfortable with communicating.

    Personally, my next move would be to keep things fun, but with "lighter" humor now.

    Be more playful & flirty.... and try not to come off too cocky. (a little goes a looong way & you don't need it after attraction has already been established.)

    Start building a little more rapport/comfort now. Don't get locked into that phase for an extended period of time though.... Build it & release.

    Then, repeat the process of playful flirting/bantering... & rapport... But increase the escalation each time, so that you can minimize potential resistance during seduction.

    You CAN actually escalate via text/email. Depending on the situation, sometimes that might be the only option at first. But ultimately the goal IS an actual meet up.

    Anyway, just think "FUN". That's the main thing. If SHE is having fun, it's all good!.

    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

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