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  • 1 Post By Shakeshi

Thread: Alcohol influenced first date. Call again?

  1. #1
    Steve7772 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Alcohol influenced first date. Call again?

    Hi Everyone.

    Here's a brief rundown of my situation.

    I'm a 39 year old guy who got divorced last year after nearly 12 years with my ex. In the last while I've been reading up on pua, but working on inner game mostly. I feel good and confident and lots of people have said I am a changed man. Been on four dates, most through social circles, so no cold opening really.

    Anyway, I had been chatting on and off to girl (back to april), but we only got together on thursday. When I saw her she looked far better than her photos. For me stunning. Venezuelan, ebony skin, fantastic eyes and legs, about 5,5. 31.

    We went for a drink, a beer each. I didn't think that were chilled enough so we drank half and went to another place. Decent chat, her hobbies etc. she liked hiking and suggested we do it sometime. She sat close so my legs were touching hers, she touched my arms to make a point, when a bit of peanut got stuck in my throat she patted my back. Showed me her tattoo on her back. I stroked it softly and said it was really nice. Had the drink, went back to first pub, which is her local.

    Karaoke night. I'm "meh" with karaoke, depends on my mood. Anyway a couple more drinks and I have my arms around her waist. A slow song came om and we got into a clinch. So plenty of physical contact. Then she got a form and filled it in for me to sing angie, I am a pro guitarist (she knew this) so I just acted nonplussed about it, eventjough I didn't really want to do it, likewise I didn't want to create a drama about it. Anyway, she's holding my hand and stuck to my while I murdered the rolling stones. Nice all the same. it continued and we had a slow dance, it was a small bar with little intimacy, so I leaned into her hear, kissed her neck and both cheeks but didn't go for the tongue cos of the people around. I figured, she lived five mins away so I would get her back to hers.

    Then it just went to sh1t. I was getting bored with the karaoke, she had more to drink. She just suddenly became quite drunk, four beers! She apologized saying it's her first time out in ages etc. then a friend of hers shows up, and I think that's that farked. So she had to have a drink and talk with her. (cock block?) In my twenties I would have hung around, but I told her I had to go. I knew it wasn't going to happen. So I gave her a kiss and that was it. She was pissed. (british sense drunk). Oh yeah, she introduced me as steve he's a guitar player, which was quite cool.

    Anyway, this was thursday, I texted her on saturday with "i saw something today that reminded me of you" just to elicit some interaction before I call, but there has been no response so far. Kind of regretting sending it now to be honest.She was cool when she was sober and I am regretting not bailing after the drink at the second bar and giving her a kiss while we were alone.

    Apologies for the long post or mistakes (posting from phone), but should I call? It's crazy I feel like I am a kid again fretting over a girl at school. Ha ha.

    Steve.
    Last edited by Steve7772; 09-23-2012 at 04:29 PM. Reason: Spelling

  2. #2
    Shakeshi is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Alcohol influenced first date. Call again?

    She got drunk with you and then you bailed and left her friend
    to deal with it. You never asked if she had gotten home
    okay which is too late now to ask. If I go out on a date and the
    woman gets too drunk I will stick around to make sure she gets
    home safely even though sex is not going to happen.

    Also did you interact all that much with her friend. A woman's
    friends and what her friends think of you are very important
    to her. I have had a woman's friends come over and just as
    quickly leave once they saw how cool I was with having them
    around. If you had a close friend would you want the person
    they hooked up with to not want you around. I am always
    happy to meet a woman's friends and assume that they will
    usually like me.

  3. #3
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    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Alcohol influenced first date. Call again?

    Why does everyone fear and resent the cock block, i target them, perfect to create a triangle, focus all you're attention on the friend, its DHV because you are getting along with the friend and it also shows that you are not a freak. You can get along with people, plus you draw the attention away from the target making her want it more.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  4. #4
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Alcohol influenced first date. Call again?

    also say this next " Hey, haven't heard from you, just making sure you got home safe that night?" thats about all you can do
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  5. #5
    Steve7772 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Alcohol influenced first date. Call again?

    Thanks for advice.

    She lived literally around the corner from the bar, sorry I didn't mention that. We met at her street earlier. I didn't leave in a sulk either, it was coming up to two in the morning and I had work the next day. I said goodbye to everyone there. asked her is she ok to get home (last throw of the dice), she said yes. So I went home. We had met at ten, the friends came at 1 ish I was bored with the karaoke, knew it wasn't happening so bailed gracefully.

    I was also speaking spanish all night, i'm fluent but my brain was fried after four hours. it was good for two hours and I should have bailed then.

    Steve.

  6. #6
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alcohol influenced first date. Call again?

    There really is no sure fire fix, but the guys are all correct

    First, sounds like something went well, so you have to try. Second, she got drunk, not you, so don't play it off like you were an a hole, you were justified in leaving, but the timing was bad

    Winning a girl's friends over is vital, you should have poured some charm on when she showed up and basically gamed her (don't hit on her, but be friendly, build value). Her friends approval would have given you your in

    But by all means follow up one more time. If you can come up with an inside joke, try. If not, then go with Tyrone

    In reality more girls flake than follow through, so don't get caught up if it doesn't work. Learning experience
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval




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