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Thread: New to these forums would appreciate input

  1. #1
    Seraphim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default New to these forums would appreciate input

    I Went to this girls bday party last week Kclosed.Went out on a date with her Kclosed again with deep kissing,got some LMR but not a big deal.This was thursday night and i have not phone her since however last night i wanted to call her but i didn't want to come across as needy or desperate,so i let her know exactly what was on my mind.So i sent her a text saying "I was tempted to give it 3 days(implying not contacting her since thurs night) to prove i was non needy,but i couldn't resist=)". We made out in our last encounter thursday night before that text was sent(yesterday) even after she said wouldnt give it up that easy but she was into me.With that being said, i realize that msg was not necessary..do you guys think i can recover?If so go no contact or call her up..She is in the same social network with my coworkers so i was thinking to not contact her until i see her at a party again,at the same time i want to fark her.I have not called her or spoken to her since out last encounter.Never been with a hb 9.It seems like my options are
    )Wait till i see her at a work-related social event and say hi like nothing happened and try all over from scratch
    or
    2)Call her and talk to her about setting up a second date.
    What do you guys recommend..I need a miracle recovery(that was my first major fuckup with her but i want her bad)

  2. #2
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
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    Default Re: New to these forums would appreciate input

    wait until a day before the work function- party, and send a message, playful and friend asking her if she going to the party.

    Say something like " Sup Hard to get , you going to the party tomorrow??"
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New to these forums would appreciate input

    If you enjoy being with each other she will enjoy chatting to you. If you want to write, then do so. It's what you write that's more important than when you write it. Women aren't sitting around with clocks and calendars critiquing our timing against some 'neediness' chart. Not every text has to be a date proposal or admitting you're trying not to be needy - use those moments to subtly reaffirm how great you are. By placing so much emphasis on a text and it's timing you ended up panicking and admitting your fear to her when there should be only elation between you two because you kissed. She kissed you, she will probably fark you as long as you don't stuff up. Be patient, calm and understand how to utilize your upcoming schedule and meetings to your advantage. Better to say something simple 'hi how are you? Having a good week?' than try too hard. Once you have her attention and you can gauge how much she likes to text/chat you can carve it deeper into more humor, flirtation or interesting topics. Use your time apart wisely to build a stronger emotional connection and you will get less LMR when you meet next. You have to prove your interested in her not just her body and that you are a unique special catch. Keep advertising yourself 'I went surfing on Sunday, this pod of smiling dolphins surfed with us!' or 'look up into the nightsky - can you see the half moon? That's me smiling down at you ' Then when you ask her out or you see her at the work function you a) have some stories and hooks to continue with, b) have reconfirmed how brilliant you are minimizing doubt in her mind c) made a unique and creative effort that makes it easier for her to open up and put effort into you. You've kissed twice I would be asking her out midweek on another date. Just kiss and be intimate again and don't overthink about whether you're getting laid or not. If you have a good time again on the date she will surely spend most of her time with you at the work function. At the function galvernise your social proof by being funny and charismatic to others as well as her but without being risky. Either arrange to screw her after the work function or the next date afterwards when things have calmed down 'come back to my apartment' 'why don't you stay at my place tonight?'. 'come over sat/sun I'll cook you pasta'. Etc etc

    She kissed you. I doubt very much she will walk away from you because of 1 lousy text. Send her another low risk text that inspires her and re-affirms your positive traits. 'I just drove by where we kissed the other night ', 'I can still smell your perfume ', 'did you see the IT guy today? He's wearing a yellow suit!', 'have you heard of this band? We went and saw them last night - they are great! ', 'how is your day? If you get bored just think of me and smile! ', or send her a picture message - could be anything that's interesting, funny or beautiful. Let her respond and take it from there. If she is responding positively call her up 'hey can I call you? My thumbs are getting sore from texting'

  4. #4
    Seraphim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New to these forums would appreciate input

    Ok she hasnt replied to that corny text i sent her last night.I havent heard from her in 3 days so im thinking of using"I just drove bye where we kissed the other night" good idea or is she expecting a phone call?

  5. #5
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
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    Default Re: New to these forums would appreciate input

    I think what whitedragon was saying, to stop finding excuses to text her and waiting around and just text her saying how are you? Am I Right?
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New to these forums would appreciate input

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrone1991 View Post
    I think what whitedragon was saying, to stop finding excuses to text her and waiting around and just text her saying how are you? Am I Right?
    Exactly.

    You have already kissed her so you dont have to jump through hoops or make a big deal out of a text or what to say.

    Here's another angle to consider it from YOUR perspective. If you write 'hi, how are you? Hope your having a good day' and she doesn't respond, she is being a rude human being full stop irrelevent of what you wrote before. If you write 'I just drove past the spot where we kissed ' and she doesn't respond she is communicating the kiss meant nothing to her and thus she's not worth any value to YOU. If you write some poetic stuff like 'I went surfing the other day at sunrise and these amazing bottlenose dolphins caught glassy waves with us smiling the whole time! Have you ever seen a wild dolphin?' and she doesn't respond she is being incompassionate to who YOU are, not answering a simple question and not acknowledging beautiful exciting things in general. If she does not respond because of your first text then she is also conceding she is somewhat cold hearted because that is not a dramatic enough text to be completely disqualified for. You didn't abuse her or say anything nasty.

    If you have called her before and feel comfortable doing so then do...but a quick text is less risky. She is not expecting a phone call specifically but she may be expecting some nice conversation and communication to follow up cleanly from the dates. She knows fine well you want her so is sitting back somewhat and your first text may have confused her. Clear the muddy water and move ahead straight away. So your conversation should involve potent emotional triggers that re-affirm your awesomeness (without being a try hard - be humble, confident and mature about it) and make her feel encouraged, even desperate, to invest in you. If you call she could be on the toilet, in a meeting, driving, a bad mood not wanting to talk. A text is much easier as an initial approach back into her realm. She might have had 462 texts from other men in the last 3 days and not even seen your text for all you know so it pays to be a little persistent, realistic about the mistakes you make and always 100% confident.

  7. #7
    Seraphim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New to these forums would appreciate input

    So i can wait till tommorow afternoon and text here Hi how are you, hope you have a nice day?The other option is temporary dissapearring and letting her wonder what happened to me..She is a bouncer at a night club and her supervisor is my friend and coworker and would let me in for for free.I could not contact her,wait till next friday and show up to club as if nothing happened and tell her i came to hangout with some friends but i just wanted to stop bye and say hi,then bounce.Then call her later that night or the next day(to reiniate the attraction she may have lost through that stupid text i sent last night).

  8. #8
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: New to these forums would appreciate input

    Playing the 'not interested, Im just hanging out' or 'no contact' strategy works on some situations but in yours it carries the risk she herself will think you're either truly not interested and she is nothing special in your eyes or that you do like her but are playing jouvenile games confused in a loop. You kissed her and have that connection but what else in terms of rapport do you have going between you two? Two dates and two K-closes - surely she must have had some sort of meaningful dialogue you can pick up on again? There must be a history of communication?

    She is a bouncer at a bar? Is she a tough girl? Does she get lots of attention from customers and other guys? Is she being tuned by anyone else or involved with anyone else?

    I would send her a text right now. If she does not respond then I would cease all contact because of the reasons I described in my previous post. She said she's 'into you'. I would be angling things for her to prove that rather than waiting around for the perfect moment or worrying endlessly about a missguided text you cannot change and that ultimately should not be a deal breaker. If you are confused, she will be too. Take the lead and text her or ask her out on date number 3. I mean how did you get the second date and kiss closes happening? You must have a fair idea of how to communicate with this girl yes??

  9. #9
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: New to these forums would appreciate input

    and i would listen to white dragon since he's in the top 30 of this website
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  10. #10
    Seraphim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: New to these forums would appreciate input

    I called her once today and she didnt pick up as expected i was thinking of just being honest with her and send her this message.."I realized that text i sent to you on Saturday Night was a dumb idea and since it came from me i am responsible.I let my dark side get the best of me.Can you please forgive me? I have a birthday party coming up in a couple of weeks and i would like you to join me."
    What do you guys think could this work to lower her guards?


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