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  1. #1
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default When all the girls are stand offish

    Last night a buddy and I went out to this dance party at a bar where we usually meet a lot of girls. The past 2 weeks were pretty damn good for us, but a lot of times it's a bust. This time it seemed like all the girls were either with guys, or they were with other girls and kept shooing all the guys away.

    There was this one group of girls who it felt like were shadowing a friend and I. Any time we'd try to dance with them they would just ignore us, and usually spin around the other direction and keep dancing. But they always seemed to be around. One of them kept bumping into me, so I jokingly said "Hey, you're dangerous, I'd better watch out for you!" She play bumped into me, so I play bumped into her, and then she play bumped me harder - And I grabbed my arm and pretended to be in pain. It got a laugh out of her, but she went off again.

    I've heard that it's a sign that a chick likes you if she seems to be following you and dancing close but sort of ignores you or turns around. It's like their testing you by seeing if you're man enough to go after them. But I can't but feel that it's a sign that they're not interested, since it's a very indirect approach and is sort of counter-intuitive.

    There were also tons of girls sitting in booths along the sides of the dance area. There usually are a ton of girls sitting, and I feel like these are the hardest ones to approach since they're probably sitting to avoid people or to just relax - It's a lot easier to approach a girl if you're both dancing. These girls are SUPER stand offish, and so I never bother. One girl was sitting down and a song came on we both knew the words to, and we were shouting the lyrics at one another. So she asks if I have a smoke, and I said "For you?.....Nope!" Wrong thing, and she got really offended. She turns to this girl next to her and they start going all OMGZ DRAMA. I was standing near them for about 30 seconds, and I could keep seeing they were pointing at me with scowls on their faces. I've heard it's good to bring out emotions like that in chicks, since it's better than indifference, but I think I took that neg a little too far, because it seemed like I really struck a nerve with her.

    So anyway, any advice on what to do in these situations? A lot of places I go to are like this, so any help is appreciated.

  2. #2
    Shakeshi is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: When all the girls are stand offish

    There are all kinds of emotions you can bring out in a
    woman you just met. Pick a better emotion than anger
    to give a person who was being friendly with you.

    When they are seated you can always walk up and ask
    "Mind if I have a seat ?". Often times they will tell you
    that they do not mind at all. They might be sitting
    because their shoes are hurting their feet or any
    number of reasons which does not mean that they
    do not wish to talk to any guys.

  3. #3
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: When all the girls are stand offish

    First - glad you have some dance floor game, but that's the least consistent game out there.

    Get used to going to say hi. And Shakeshi is right, go ask if you can sit with them. "Hey these taken?". Make up an excuse if you like, I'm exhausted mind if I join ya for a bit? Get to know them, then invite them to dance more, then you're in. Or "These girls dancing are creeping me out, care if I join ya for a bit? (make sure you can point some out). Get over your AA and you'll get alot more results.

    If girls blow you off, move on. Some girls are really uptight, if they're not confident enough to take a joke, you don't want them.

    Problem with the dance floor is you can't hear unless you're 3 inches away. If you were in a normal bar environment you could look at her with a funny face and say "really??" and laugh it off, hopefully she'd realize it was a joke then, "sweetheart relax, I'll step out with you"
    dance floor, really cant do that without leaning in to her and showing too much interest.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: When all the girls are stand offish

    Dance environments are notoriously hard. What you need to do is 1) be more observant and 2) more aggressive. In clubs people do themselves up with make up and fancy clothes - its an inflated reality so often you have to inflate your masculinity and persistency. In regard to 1) understand that many girls will be unavailable and have probably decided so before going out (or they have a boyfriend) but many will have made the decision 'I'm open to having sex tonight' even before they hit the clubs. You have to observe what women are wearing and how they behave acutely - not just 'oh they are being stand offish'. The girl who bumped you was engineering the situation but rather than grab her hand and twirl her around in hyper inflated maleness you acted hurt exaggerating weakness (I know you were just trying to be playful). Next time be more observant of how women engineer situations, accept that not all women there are 'available' in the same way so quickly move on from deadbeats and focus on the open talkative/flirty girls and move around a few clubs rather than one venue (unless it's a jackpot). Sometimes different clubs and nights have totally different vibes you can't change but you can change venues and it's often good to proactively ask women to a different spot. Be a little more persistent and aggressive.


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