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  • 3 Post By The Red Baron
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Thread: Please help with Freezing out situation

  1. #1
    Reds22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Please help with Freezing out situation

    Ok so heres the deal. I met this girl around August and we went on two dates and things were going pretty smoothly. We made plans to go on a third date but she had to cancel (and did so in appropriate time) due to family stuff. All's well. About a week later I asked again if she wanted to hang out and sleep over at my place. We made the plans and then on the day she was supposed to come over at she texts me about 5mins before I was expecting her to arrive saying that she got called into work earlier that day and it would be too late for her to come over because she had to work in the morning. She didn't tell me that she had to work the next day when we made the plans. I was upset because I was starting to like her a bit so I thought it would be best to punish her for not coming over it went like this:

    HER: Yeah I have to work the next morning so I don't think I can make it
    me: Well you could have told me that before
    HER: I could have sworn I told you lady. It was one of the things I clearly remember when I was drunk (<-- we made the plans over the phone while she was drunk)
    me: No... me the sober one, does not remember this.
    HER: Oh well. I'm going to be downtown tomorrow, you should come out.
    me: No. I made a girls night with my friends. I'm a well wanted woman. If you want me, you gotta book ahead and stick with the plan.
    HER: Lol whateverr
    me: Meh its your loss
    HER: -_-!

    I have to admit I was a bit upset at the time but I also wanted to DHV by making her feel a bit jealous and unavailable to just 'come when I'm called.' So to drive it home I decided to freeze her out for a bit to teach her a lesson that flaking out on me isn't cool. Anyway, its been about 4 days since that happened and she hasn't contacted me. I'm figuring its my move, but I'm not to sure how to recover. Advice?

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Please help with Freezing out situation

    You didn't DHV, you DLV because you betrayed that you were too affected by it. It's pretty clear from the conversation.

    Truth is there is no easy way to recover from this.

    My guess? "In fairness I was a little frustrated before, but I think we need to chill soon, how about a comedy show this Friday?"

    If someone offers a better suggestion by all means entertain it.

    In all reality tho, girls flake out, alot. Part of the game
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    Reds22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please help with Freezing out situation

    One of my problems is definitely getting to attached too early but I'm working on it I was planning on texting her later this afternoon to in the very least redeem myself from being rude. I'll give shot at what you said to text her. If I get a reply I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks man. And I guess I'll just have to get used to girls flaking out. Hence, the attached too soon problem.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Please help with Freezing out situation

    Red Baron is right. You had the right idea that you shouldn't be cool about her flaking, but that's better saved for later when she actually gives a sh1t. After you build some rapport, or better yet, sleep with her, then that's a good time to start giving her sh1t about bad behavior. You have to reach a point where you know if you walked away she would take it as a loss in her life. That's when you can do that. Before that you just have to be cool and tease her.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    Reds22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please help with Freezing out situation

    Thanks BatMan. I'll work on building more rapport (and sleeping with girls, ugh haven't gotten laid in so long) before I start punishing for behavior. But good news! I tried out what the Red Baron said and heres how it went:

    me: Hey. I've been thinking a lot lately and in all fairness I was a bit frustrated before but I think we need to chill soon. You free sunday?
    HER: mhm
    me: Is that a mhm lets chill sunday or...?
    HER: Yes lol
    me: Awesome how about we meet up at wellesley around 4 and explore around and find some good eats
    HER: Okay, sounds good.

    I let her have the end of the conversation. I don't plan on txting her until saturday just to confirm plans for sunday. Thank you both for the awesome advice.

  6. #6
    Jmoney is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Please help with Freezing out situation

    If you want me to be honest, next time do not take things personally about a situation. That will put you on a higher value level over your target. We all know those times where we had things that came up and interrupted other plans that we had with other people. Just because you had the time available does not mean everyone else will have the same time available. Especially if initially they said they would and then have a change of heart or something came up. By reading your text back an forth you would seem as someone that I would not want to get to know further because in the future if my job did get in the way you would take it personally every time. If you don't like that about someone, recognize that and use it as a qualification statement on future woman to address if they would fit with you. Not every person out there is going to fit what we look for in a significant other. The sooner you recognize this, the better your game will become. If you have any further questions, reply back to this and good luck to you!

  7. #7
    Reds22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Please help with Freezing out situation

    Hey Jmoney, thanks for the input, thats why I'm here to learn. Could you please explain what you mean by a qualification statement? And how would you use one, is it something for me to keep in mind when sarging or is it something I try to bring up in conversation?

  8. #8
    Jmoney is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Please help with Freezing out situation

    Yes I can. A Qualification statement is a predetermined question that is asked to evaluate if one is a potential suitor for you. If for instance I like a woman that is ambitious and likes to travel I would say something like, "You know what I like about you? Is that you give the impression that you are a very ambitious person, but its difficult to find someone that is ambitious about traveling. What are your thoughts on that?" If she tells you that she loves to travel, right there I can start developing a conversation on traveling because we both find that subject interesting. If she does not agree with traveling then you can immediately recognize that she is not a potential suitor for you and at that point you maintain higher value because she was not able to qualify herself for you. If you would like an even more in depth explanation about qualification, I would look up "Adam Lyons Qualification" on YouTube and the first video that pops up will give you an even further explanation about it. I use this all the time now when I am sarging and it allows me to be picky and maintain higher value over all my targets. I have been doing this long enough that beauty will attract me to you, but what impresses me is how much you can relate to me. If we do not connect through my qualification statements than the most you will get with me is being a friend. Hope that helps you and if you have any further questions please reach out to me. Good Luck!

  9. #9
    inter1010 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Please help with Freezing out situation

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    You didn't DHV, you DLV because you betrayed that you were too affected by it. It's pretty clear from the conversation.

    Truth is there is no easy way to recover from this.

    My guess? "In fairness I was a little frustrated before, but I think we need to chill soon, how about a comedy show this Friday?"

    If someone offers a better suggestion by all means entertain it.

    In all reality tho, girls flake out, alot. Part of the game

    I agree that if you don't build enough rapport you can't call girls out on their shit!!!!!...

    But please, let me tell you that you guys(red baron) give girls too much power early on!!. YOU ALSO HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT GIRLS ARE SOMETIMES SEXUALLY/PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU!!!....... They may feel like you do when you have ONEITIS!!!!! I think you did good by telling her "You should of told me earlier".... don't be afraid to call girls out.... If she cancels on you once- FINE. Twice- tell her to F. Off.... or meet up with her and try to Fark her within the first 15 minutes of the date....

    I get the whole game thing of acting like you don't care, but I think its so much more affective if you carry the same frame throughout all your interactions with her.... Be assertive and alpha by not letting her get away with shit!!!

  10. #10
    DarrenA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please help with Freezing out situation

    I agree with Red Baron & Batman on their analysis, when she has deep attachment for you, you can call her out seriously on her bad behavior... but i also agree with inter1010, don't be afraid to call girls out on their bad behavior. The difference is the intensity of how you call girls out is what matters. Example, if you are dating a girl for 2 weeks, she flakes out on you with an unreasonable excuse, and you get all serious and deep about it, she would think you have issues. Instead, you can mention it to her, so that she knows that you picked up on it. Hear what she says, if it is unacceptable, you can brush it off in a "i don't believe you but whatever" manner and move on to a next topic. It would send a warning in a sense to her because next time she does it with an unreasonable excuse, you would not be so easy.

    By mentioning in your convo "Well you could have told me that before" & "No... me the sober one, does not remember this" proves that you are an individual that thinks and don't simply take bs. You should just left it there for now so that next time, she would think twice about bull sh!tting u again.


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