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  1. #1
    DwightKim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Am I doing it right with this girl at messaging at facebook?

    I've been messaging with this girl(not chat because we barely catch each other online).She's a little bit known in our campus because of her looks. But we already met before but wasnt really that close. Then I saw her in school and we looked at each other but didnt really talked because as I said, we really weren't that close. So i decided to message her up.( She wasn't online so i decided to message her to take advantage of the opportunity that night).
    It was really going well, she laughed a lot to what I was saying to her, even when I wasnt really trying to make a joke. Then, I tried to use some push pull technique, but I dont know if I'm doing it right. I tried to push by saying she was weird and she was just taking it and laughing. I waited like a day or a few hours to reply when she sometimes replied faster. My theory was, she already knew she was beautiful, I didnt know if telling her that would do me anything. I wanted to be the different one who wouldnt say that. But I dont know how to use a Pull to her. How should I end our conversation? Am I doing something wrong? When should I stop? I really want to take advantage of this opportunity. PLEASE HELP ME

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I doing it right with this girl at messaging at facebook?

    Ask her out. If she is beautiful and knows it she will likely want an assertive guy who knows what he wants. Beautiful women can often ironically also be easy to talk to because they know their looks can intimidate men and frankly they are quite acustomed to talking to men. You did the right thing not saying she's beautiful. Use cute if you must. If you have met her before (even if not close) and she's laughing at your conversation she will already be in a position to say yes or no so I would not hesitate and ask her on a date. Give her an attractive offer of a simple casual meal or drink 'hey why don't we grab a quick coffee and chat in person, gus's cafe also has some tasty fresh food, it will be fun!'. If she's laughing at your messages and responding she has already accepted you on principle and will likely say yes. And you make it really easy for her to accept by saying 'a quick...'. If she says no she concedes to saying no to you (because she cant say no to good conversation, coffee or food and fun) at least you know sooner rather than later she's not into you and can move onto to new girls. Don't forget to subtly add some positive traits about yourself in your messages 'I aced my exam today, I scored a touchdown, I helped an old lady across the street, I just finished a great book, I bought a new guitar' whatever it is. A pinch of self promotion goes a long way. Good luck

    Push pull is much easier in person. Just develop attraction and it sounds like you have some going, then in arranging date you can push pull a bit 'oh I can't do Thursday but Fridays good' then arrive a bit late so she has to wait

  3. #3
    DwightKim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Am I doing it right with this girl at messaging at facebook?

    A lot of people keeps telling her she's beautiful. Like, a lot of people are trying to get her attention by saying that, especially online. Should I do the same thing to? How could I use a the push pull thing?

  4. #4
    DwightKim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Am I doing it right with this girl at messaging at facebook?

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    Ask her out. If she is beautiful and knows it she will likely want an assertive guy who knows what he wants. Beautiful women can often ironically also be easy to talk to because they know their looks can intimidate men and frankly they are quite acustomed to talking to men. You did the right thing not saying she's beautiful. Use cute if you must. If you have met her before (even if not close) and she's laughing at your conversation she will already be in a position to say yes or no so I would not hesitate and ask her on a date. Give her an attractive offer of a simple casual meal or drink 'hey why don't we grab a quick coffee and chat in person, gus's cafe also has some tasty fresh food, it will be fun!'. If she's laughing at your messages and responding she has already accepted you on principle and will likely say yes. And you make it really easy for her to accept by saying 'a quick...'. If she says no she concedes to saying no to you (because she cant say no to good conversation, coffee or food and fun) at least you know sooner rather than later she's not into you and can move onto to new girls. Don't forget to subtly add some positive traits about yourself in your messages 'I aced my exam today, I scored a touchdown, I helped an old lady across the street, I just finished a great book, I bought a new guitar' whatever it is. A pinch of self promotion goes a long way. Good luck

    Push pull is much easier in person. Just develop attraction and it sounds like you have some going, then in arranging date you can push pull a bit 'oh I can't do Thursday but Fridays good' then arrive a bit late so she has to wait
    A lot of people keeps telling her she's beautiful. Like, a lot of people are trying to get her attention by saying that, especially online. Should I do the same thing to? How could I use a the Push Pull thing?

  5. #5
    Dave-o is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I doing it right with this girl at messaging at facebook?

    Should you tell her that she's beautiful?

    No would be my answer, you said that everyone else is doing it and yet they're not all dating her. Stay different and if you want to compliment her on anything then compliment her about something the rest aren't talking about, something that you know about from her through chatting to her. At least that way you won't be falling in to the trap of being just like every other guy.

    You could say... I like how you are x, when we first started chatting I thought that you might be y, and then go on to support that value.

    Only when you are dating her, do you start saying that she's beautiful, by that point to tell her as much is almost a reward and you are not supplicating her by throwing out a compliment which might be true but certainly isn't unique.

    I keep saying this in each of my posts because I'm still learning and I wouldn't always take what I said as the final answer, there are people here who know FAR more than me but I figured I would add my advice.

  6. #6
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    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Am I doing it right with this girl at messaging at facebook?

    The best way to deal with REALLY HOT girls is to treat them differently than every other guy would. Not treat them badly or anything like that, but treat them like a regular person.

    Here's the thing: If she's REALLY beautiful, then she already KNOWS she's good looking. Telling her that will make her ignore everything else you say.

    Teasing/bantering work really well, when you want to stand out from other guys & get her attention.

    After I've gotten her initial attention, I usually say things like "Ya know, I just realized something... you're like kinda cute & stuff... too bad you're such a nerd. " (or dork / goofball / trouble-maker) etc...

    You have to be confident & demonstrate that you're not afraid to challenge her, or to take playful pokes at her.

    You could also challenge her to qualify herself to you, by saying something like,
    "Ohhh man! I think you'd be a blast to go to xxxx with! BUT... I AM a little afraid you might embarrass me. I mean think about it; I'm SUPER AWESOME, and you're just 'pretty cool'. heehee! However; I'd be willing to risk it because, I think if ANYONE could pass the test, YOU could."

    You want to make sure the sarcastic, over-the-top humor is self evident though, because you don't want to come across as being arrogant or a total d1ck.

    But again; be unique, funny, playful, confident & FUN in general!

    You don't have to neg the crap our of her & make her feel bad. You just need to let her know you're interested, without being creepy or needy.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I doing it right with this girl at messaging at facebook?

    No don't tell her she is beautiful. If you ever get to date her you can say 'wow you look stunning tonight'. That is fine because if she goes out on a date with you and has truly made the effort to make herself look so good she deserves a reward...and you know that effort means she already likes you so you're safe. Ask her out and stop overthinking technical details. And don't try to be cocky funny unless you know you can get away with it. Dont try too hard because that is exactly what every guy does with a beautiful girl. If this truly is a beautiful girl she will see right through it because she will have experience with it. Less is more. Ask her out. She will then be forced to be a person and not a face. Got it?


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