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  1. #1
    qboy122 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Friend Zone (of course)

    Hey everyone I need your advice. So yeah Im in the friend zone right now and it sucks. I've known this girl for 3 years now and it hasnt been until the past month that we got really close. I always found her attractive but never made a move because she always had a boyfriend. So 2 years ago I made out with her sister and this past year I made out with her best friend. Recently she has been bringing up that I hooked up with them like with resent. One night we went out with her friends into the city and one of her guy friends asked her something. Then she looked at me (I saw with the corner of my eye as I was talking to her friend) and she said loud enough for me to here her "No, he hooked up with my sister and best friend." So I am pretty sure that the guy she said this to asked her if me and her were going out or something because I am an outsider to her group of friends. But that same day she texted me and said "um you are like my best friend". I am telling you this now guys that she is kind of a needy girl. She hates being alone and I know this first hand because I have slept over her house a bunch of times because she was alone or she wanted someone to hang out with (big mistake by me). So I have asked around and people have told me to make her chase me. To make her initiate texts and stuff and take awhile to answer or not answer at all to remind her of my value and to make her like me. This actually worked the past two days because she had texted me and I took awhile to answer so she texted me again like to get my attention. So these past two days it seemed like it worked and she also initiated the conversation yesterday with "ughhh im bored." So clearly she was thinking about me and wanted to talk to me. But this morning she was at work and I texted her "how was work going" and she said "Busy" so I told her I would talk to her later because she was busy. After that she hasn't texted me all day and I haven't texted her (this is killing me right now). So I don't know if the scarcity principle of not texting is working right now. Do you think maybe she's home waiting for me to text her? But if I do won't it make me look needy? This whole making a girl chase is great but do all women react the right way to this? Do you think maybe she likes it when guys text her all the time? She actually was seeing this guy from jersey that she met at starbucks and she told me that they were texting each other every morning but then on Saturday & Sunday he didn't text her and said he was busy (acting distant), and this was bothering her so she was going to text him "are you mad or whats wrong" making her look needy. I don't know what to do here, I actually really like her and would like to go out with her. I haven't felt like this for a girl in a very very long time. I need your help guys.

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Friend Zone (of course)

    You got to ramp up the push / pull when you see her. False disqualifiers "IE you're way too nice for me we would never work"

    Well, ideally do these in person, but you can mix them in in texts. Inconsistency is important in texts. You can maintain a conversation back and forth, then the next day don't text at all.

    But when you're in person, kino and touching, and lots of teasing. Make her want to see you and want your attention, then wait for her to text you. If she's needy she will the next day, if not wait at least 2 days again.

    Inconsistency, not just distance. Push pull, make sense?

    Give a little, tease her, make her want more, then make her work for it.

    False disqualifiers - IE "OMG you're basically my sister", or "that's it we're getting a divorce"
    things that tell her you're not pursuing her. If she's needy, she will want you to and will make moves to turn it back around, that is - she will come to you.

    Look around elsewhere here, there are disqualifiers and push-pull information everywhere
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    qboy122 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend Zone (of course)

    ohhh okay that does make sense. I do that sometimes like I'll say "I hate you" with a smile and then kind of hug her, which it seems that she likes because she smiles when I do that and sometimes does it back to me. Those false disqualifiers I would not have thought that would work because in my head (I think in a lot of guys' heads) that saying "OMG you're basically my sister" would make her think that she is like my sister but I guess combining that with teasing would confuse her and make her want me. But I have two questions, why does this work especially with a best friend? and if I wait for her to text me and she doesnt after one day then two days, should I text her or keep waiting?
    P.S.- I appreciate the advice and info.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Friend Zone (of course)

    It works because girls are used to guys trying to pick them up. When you tease them like that and tell them it would never work, you're doing what they usually do. It makes them say, wait, huh? Why isn't he in to me - then come all the things in their head, maybe i'm not good enough, etc etc. Then they want validation. So they work to get your attention back, they will work to make you start hitting on them again.

    And after a few days, you can text if you like. No biggie. In generally don't go more than 4 days or so or you can kinda kill the flame.

    The importance is - don't text with the crap "Hey how's your day?" That stuff's only ok once you've already slept with them

    You gotta be fun, text her stuff to make her laugh, or curious.

    Again search around for good texts threads, there are tons of ideas for alternative texts.

    For example - I used one the other day, got it from my bud Chet25 a while ago
    "Hey, you just popped into my head, so hi, now try to stay out of there"

    Do that after a few days. It's decent, although that was still semi-direct, but this girl's pretty in to me so I wasn't worried. There are better ones out there just look around
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  5. #5
    qboy122 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend Zone (of course)

    Oh wow that is extremely interesting. I just have one more question. I wrote in the first post that she was seeing this guy from Jersey for the past couple of weeks. Her best friend (whom I hooked up with that one time) told me that she didnt know what her (the girl I like) deal was with this kid joe. Then the best friend actually told me that joe was a super nice guy and whatever. Do you think if I do more of the push/pull strategy even while she is seeing this kid (which there is a possibility that she is at his house right now hanging out with him, which is why she hasnt texted me) that she will forget about him and start to find me more interesting/fun(in the sexual sense)/attractive and forget about him because he is too nice? By the way, they arent in a relationship, they have been on a couple of dates and hung out at his place once in awhile, and she likes to hang out with me cuz I am a lot of fun.

  6. #6
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friend Zone (of course)

    Yes of course, if she likes you much more than him she will want to be with you

    You need to balance the push pull between making her want to pursue you, then thinking there's a chance of something
    If you keep going after a girl, she'll back away because she doesn't need to pursue you, so don't go all over her, mix it up, mystery calls it cat string theory

    Now, let's say things progress, you're making out and she's like, I'm kinda dating x, you'll really have one good chance to tell her it doesn't matter. Read this and make sure you familiarize with this mindset and have it ingrained before you get there
    http://www.puaforums.com/dating-advi...exclusive.html
    Basically, you want to say like "it's totally cool, I'm dating other people too. I think you should be free to date until you're really sure someone is right for you. You really need to know inside, don't you agree?" (then touch her heart or hand to ramp up feelings)

    You can do it, just be cooler, more confident. Tease her, make her wonder, make her want

    Besides even if it doesn't work out, if you practice this you'll have so many more options
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  7. #7
    qboy122 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend Zone (of course)

    Hey Baron, so I wanted your opinion on what I texted that girl today. So I woke up and I see on Facebook that she posted and liked stuff on my wall and whatever about us going to a concert this weekend and probably getting drunk with her friends. So I went back to sleep and later at 1 pm I saw on Instagram that she put up some quote and she wrote "Good morning world!!! I feel blessed even on this gloomy day. #take #chances #beyourself." So at 1 pm i texted her and this was the convo:

    Me: why are u in such a chipper moood today...im not used to seeing this (shes usually negative and in shitty moods)

    Her: hahaha....IDK

    Me: I know why

    Her: Oh yeah why

    (I didnt answer her for about 20 minutes then during this time she sent me a picture of a electronic music festival on oct 5th, which I cant go to cuz ill be in Miami and she wrote "Too bad u will b away on the 5th)

    After the 20 minutes:

    Me: Why? Cuz u know me and im awesome lol...that does suck but whatever im gunna be in Miami living it up

    Her: Ughhh whatev....use a condom

    Me: Naaa i wanna have lil Davids running around down there lol

    Her: Hahaha

    So i made her be the last text in the convo and didnt write anything else. After 30 minutes she just texted me "what are you doing"

    Was this a decent conversation? I was hard for me to put in push-pull cuz she didnt really give me much to work with and as you know I am new to this. I am gunna respond to her last text in awhile telling her that I am working out (which I will be).

  8. #8
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Friend Zone (of course)

    You could send her something like "just being awesome, duh"

    But your conversation is good. Light, and you're framing her as the pursuer which is what you want, so keep it up she's definitely in to you, don't lose that keep her pursuing you.
    Keep in mind, you don't even have to respond to every text, you could ignore it and reinitiate tomorrow or something

    Heres a post I created about disqualifying this morning after I was thinking about how frequently I discuss some of this (ignore crappy formatting)
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...ier-guide.html
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  9. #9
    qboy122 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend Zone (of course)

    Cool thanks...I havent responded to her last text of what are you doing and literally 20 minutes later she said we have to go to Ibiza, spain (im assuming for electronic music festivals). So to respond to her what are you doing text I was going to combine what u and I said "being awesome and working out, duh." What should I say to the ibiza thing? Btw you have no idea how much appreciate your advice.

  10. #10
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Friend Zone (of course)

    Ignore her first question entirely. It was a lame generic question. The Ibiza one is so much better. Just like you don't have to respond to every text, you don't have to answer every question

    I'd wait like 20 minuts and say

    " I don't know... We'd probably get into waay too much trouble"

    This opens a sexual frame and still keeps her as the one pushing the idea. You're in dude
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval




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