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Thread: Desensitization Permanence

  1. #1
    dolphinwings is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Desensitization Permanence

    Hey everyone! I have a question about desensitization.

    On really good days, I'll somehow be able to overcome my approach anxiety and talk to a bunch of women. Eventually, on those days, I'll become somewhat desensitized to the fear of rejection: which results in more and more approaches. However, the next day, that desensitization weakens dramatically. And the next day, it weakens even more.

    So here's my issue: without doing practice every day, which I generally just don't have time, energy, or enough willpower to do: how can I build up my desensitization over time? Has anyone experienced a similar dilemma?

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Desensitization Permanence

    Approach anxiety is a fact of life. You get better, it goes away, but it will sneak back. Almost all MPUA's acknowledge its there, they just don't let it hold them back.

    It comes with confidence and success. I only consistently game once or twice a week, the rest of the time's i'm busy or on dates with girl's i've picked up. (Although to some extent the game does run 24/7 but not with such concentrated effort)

    As you get numbers and good reception and have a few girls you're dating, you really stop worrying about the results. Alot of nights I game just because I enjoy game. That makes the approaches much easier.

    Inner game, confidence, all makes it easier.

    Now, I know that's not exactly what you want. So let me offer an alternative - my buddy I call Style2, best opener I've ever worked with. Guy can and will open any set, mixed or not, and he's good.

    He's got a little routine he uses which works great for him. The first few sets he opens aren't anyone he cares about. He always does at least 2 early to get it out of the way, like within first 10-15 minuts out. Force yourself to do that. Your head wont get bitten off, shoot maybe it'll even go well. Sometimes he just talks for 30 seconds, uses one of his opinion openers, says thanks and moves on.

    Don't be picky on these, and don't over think it, just do it. Once it's out of the way the rest of the night just rolls out.

    I've seen it work great for him, and like I said he's the best opener I've ever worked with
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  3. #3
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    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Desensitization Permanence

    I always try to keep high energy all week by meeting ANYONE i can.

    Talk to people you come into contact with during the day. Women, Men, older people etc... I find that the more you learn to talk to people, you start to subconciously regard any HB's as just another person you talk to. Your brain gets used to approaching so it become second nature. Helps you be more natural.

    AND the BIG one that helped me reduce AA is starting a conversation with the MEANEST looking person... you know, those people who just have a scowl on thier face ALL the time. Try to get those people to be friendly and you will see that getting an HB to smile is a peice of cake. (But man... I knew a chick at work who WAS BOTH... HB9 AND HAD A CONSTANT SCOWL! Maybe she didn't like the job LOL???)

    Cops are usually good targets for this. Everyone is scared to just talk to a cop. But Cops are trained to deal with the public. They won't cuff you for just saying HI lol. Saying a respectful 'good afternoon officer' or "how are you?' lessend my overall fear.

    Don't think of it as gaming JUST to get chicks. Good gaming comes from an ability to be fun, assertive, and outgoing. There are many opportunites for this during the week
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
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  4. #4
    dolphinwings is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Desensitization Permanence

    This all makes a ton of sense. Thanks, TRB and LD!

    A follow-up: I'm concerned that a few days after I get the balls to approach the meanest person ever, I'll need to start from scratch again. If doing it over and over only desensitizes me in the short term, but not the long term: well, that's a little discouraging. Thoughts?

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    flynn33 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Desensitization Permanence

    Sounds like too you've been conditioned a bit and when you fall out of practice, a negative response becomes a wall of water crashing down and you feel a bit bad....sets you off...keep practicing, and this will actually recondition your thinking (emotionally and cognitively)...but it takes persistence and practice to unlearn what you learned...you are really re-programming yourself in way...which is cool. -Flynn

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Desensitization Permanence

    Just 2 thoughts for you - First, if you do it consistently, say at least weekly, your AA each time starts off smaller and smaller when it resets. So yes, it does get easier in the long run even though the AA comes back a bit each time.

    Second, listen to LockDown. Talk to people throughout the day. Just be social. Here's a post I've been inspired to write tonight from a few things i've been reading, relates quite a bit

    http://www.puaforums.com/game/15457-...html#post60997
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  7. #7
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    Default Re: Desensitization Permanence

    DW ... don't think lol! Just do!

    If u think too much, chances are u will only hear NEGATIVE stuff in your head. Paralysis of analysis and all that. Dont be concerned about the future until u get there.

    If u worried about getting hit by a bus, u would NEVER leave the house!
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde



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