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  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Why did I FAIL in online dating?

  1. #1
    liquid_fun21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Why did I FAIL in online dating?

    I've been on okcupid for a year now. I haven't even had a single number close. It literally seems impossible to even get a single number. I tried everything in my profile. I tweaked and tweaked. I also tried various profile pics. Nothing worked. The maximum that has ever happened is a girl checks my profile, says nothing and leaves.

    I messaged a ton of girls, with witty comments, honest comments, funny comments, cocky comments, mysterious comments. Nothing worked. Yet I know guys there who get laid within the week of joining. It's absurd. I can only think of one reason why this might be happening, my appearance. I'm not a white, and I don't have manly features. Unfortunately I can;t change these things or I would.

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Why did I FAIL in online dating?

    I'll be honest. Online dating is BRUTAL. Especially dating sites. If you aren't up to par on the looks dept then your humor has to be insanely good. This is the process...

    First she'll read your message (sometimes they go straight to your profile and not even read it)

    Then she looks at your pics (as long as your main pic caught some interest)

    Third she will read your bio section.

    You see how many steps before she gets to see your sense of humor? Some will just straight up take one look at your photo and move on. This is where you need to implant your humor not just in your first message....but your pictures.

    Try not to rate your online success to overall success. It really is a woman's realm and its about "hot or not" mindsets. Dating sites are notorious for this stigma and more social ones like FB aren't much better. Its an uphill battle since they can't see any of your confident body language or tone of voice. It's a numbers game.

    It is possible to be good though, don't get me wrong. Just don't compare it to your overall success with women. What are some first messages you write to them? What are your pics like?
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    liquid_fun21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Why did I FAIL in online dating?

    I sent you a link to my pic. Here's an example of some of my first comments that actually got a reply.

    "I'd walk around arm in arm and make all the guys jealous " - I was responding to a question she asked, what would you do with me if we had a date.

    To some other HB8s and 9s I used some completely nonsense openeners, to grab attention. Like:

    "YOOOOOOO!!! Did I mention I love you?"

    to which they did respond like. "huh?" or "o..h..." but these are the chicks that usually never respond, so I figured it's still good to get my foot in. But none of these interactions lead to a n-close.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Why did I FAIL in online dating?

    Here's some advice I've given to a few of my students.
    (Yes, I've actually gone from being clueless & single, to teaching... within 5 months!! Crazy!!)

    But, one of the biggest eye-openers for me, was when I set up a "recon" profile. Here's what I did, (And what I recommend to my students).

    I'm in Nashville, TN. So I searched women's profiles in Los Angeles California & found a profile of a girl who was a 12!!
    I then set up a profile in Nashville with her photos & profile description... so I could see what kinds of messages a woman gets from guys on these sites.
    AND I browsed other guys' profiles to see what THEY have listed.

    You'll learn a LOT that way. (Especially about what NOT to do & what NOT to have in your profile!!)

    After a couple weeks of that kind of research, I completely revamped my profile & the very next day I had almost 30 messages.
    (And that trend never changed!!)

    Online dating can be miserable & unsuccessful if you make the same mistakes most guys do. (Which is what my experience was like the first time I tried it.)

    But, when you learn what mistakes not to make, it's a whole different world!

    Cockiness doesn't fly with online dating, because it's almost impossible for the "humor" to translate properly, just through written word.

    Trying too hard to be funny also doesn't work, because it comes off as needy & not genuine.

    What I learned was: Being polite, upbeat, friendly & complimentary of something in her profile worked like a charm! Also making a small "cold read" about her (rather than asking questions) was another successful technique.

    Basically I'd just imply that I had the feeling she's probably a lot more spunky & sassy than she's letting on in her profile... Or that she probably becomes the center of attention with all her friends because she's the funniest of her group.... or that she's most likely the one everybody comes to for advice.... etc...

    Just basic blanket statements that any girl is going to relate to.

    But, it worked because other guys don't do that.

    Anyway, I definitely recommend trying the "recon profile". Because when you know what the "competition" is doing, it's much easier to be better than them.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  5. #5
    liquid_fun21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Why did I FAIL in online dating?

    Thanks for the help, I've already done that.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Why did I FAIL in online dating?

    He's right. Online game requires something different than usual game. Especially online dating sites. It's best to be genuine and direct. One that I used for awhile with some success was "Lol you are too adorable. I just had to intro myself. I'm Batman. Ah man...i usually write a joke with one of these first messages. Ok quick.....strawberry or vanilla?" It got a decent response rate. Be direct, intriguing, and add some humor.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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