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Thread: Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

  1. #1
    doublevest is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

    Hi, I am a new member to these forums. I am a newbie when it comes to girls.

    I guess I'll get started with it. I recently entered university, and I was interesting in talking to a girl who I've known for almost 5 years. In the past, she liked me on more than one occasion, but I was never interested.

    During the first week of university, we texted a lot and I even managed to get to her place a few times, as her dorm was very close to mine. Me being clueless, didn't realize the significance in this.

    One night, we ended up hanging out for hours just talking. She started coming on to me, first by hugs, then when I was leaving, she started kissing me. At this point, I was a little confused. I realize now I should of kissed her back, but at the time I didn't know what I was doing. After that night, I started liking her.

    That was 4 weeks ago. Since then we've been texting. Not too long after that day, she told me she was not interested, and that night meant nothing to her. A week later as an attempt to move on, I ignored her for an entire day. As a result, I got 8+ texts and 3 calls. She then said "I've devloped some feelings." The very next day she took back everything she said back when we met up in person..

    The next week I decided to move on again, and told her I was over her. the next day she proceeded to pull me back in by saying how she 'likes' the fact that I like her.

    Every time we meet up, I feel like I can't see the signs, I realize after and feel stupid.

    This is 2 weeks from that point, I recently told her I'm done, and she asked if we could still be friends. So currently we are..

    She says I don't "turn her on." I agree, I've been very cold every time we meet up, but I realize it always too late.





    My question is, How can I get her back? I know I've made many mistakes, But I think I can seal the deal. I really like her, and can't seem to get over her. I think I can make the necessary changes, but I just don't know how to get her crawling back. any advice?

    -also i'm very open with her, she knows I like her.

  2. #2
    flyer1's Avatar
    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

    It seems like she is using the push/pull method on you, and like you said you are not reading the signs until its to late. As pua's we are honing our game, and believe or not women are doing the same look at all the women magazines and books telling women how to get a man. That being said start using some alpha male traits to define yourself as a catch, and stop being a beta male always there for her when she texts you or want to meet up. She is pushing you away because you rejected her when she came on to you a few times, and using the friend thing to protect herself from further hurt, and rejection. A good reading is John Alexander's book being the Alpha male and attracting women which is listed on favorite readings in this site or some of the other articles listed. You still have a shot at her, and don't put yourself in the friendzone if you don't have to which you did. Like I said move things forward by tips from thhis site and other contributor's. Batman is a respected contributor so look for his advice. Hope this helps!

  3. #3
    doublevest is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

    hmm thanks I'll keep this in mind. Also I forgot to mention that she said she wants to stay friends for good..

  4. #4
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

    Quote Originally Posted by doublevest View Post
    hmm thanks I'll keep this in mind. Also I forgot to mention that she said she wants to stay friends for good..
    Sounds to me like this is as much your problem as it is hers. You are BOTH playing indecisive and not knowing what the hell you want. I really dont understand when you say "after that night i started liking her". Cmon.... as a guy you naturally know if your interested or not almost instantly. If you like her, and see her next, go for it. Kiss her back for God's sake!

  5. #5
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

    Quote Originally Posted by doublevest View Post
    hmm thanks I'll keep this in mind. Also I forgot to mention that she said she wants to stay friends for good..
    Ive dealt with some extreme push/pull...something similar happened to me. I didnt tell her I was done, i just tossed her number, here she was calling back 4 days later out of no where wanting to meet up....was really a night a day difference(guess she found out I wasnt playing around). And I just had some patience and made sure to "walk the walk" and not wimp out or let her control me....things ended up positive there after...just have to get over that "hump" of the cat and mouse game...dont let her fool yah.

    Remember if she shows interest, shes interested, its not a lie, follow thru and maintain the vibe and it should go smoothly, unless shes trying to get in your wallet or something(gotta watch it, its 2012 people are hurting for money).

  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

    I'd continue to show a general lack of interest and right at the point she starts texting or calling you (chasing you) be spontaneous, meet up and as soon as you see her start kissing madly. You gotta get some physical connections going and ignore verbal games.

  7. #7
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    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

    when she plays her game (push n pull) the most attractive thing you can do is use the ( I dont give a %^&* attitude) just dont let it bother you, if she says "she takes it back" just say " good, so we can remain friends" then do some light Kino (touch: to escalate attraction from mental to physical) and play push pull back. its quite easy to play hard to get. and she will be all over you within days if not hours.

    Regards

    Tyrone
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  8. #8
    doublevest is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

    Quote Originally Posted by Rando9009 View Post
    I really dont understand when you say "after that night i started liking her". Cmon.... as a guy you naturally know if your interested or not almost instantly. If you like her, and see her next, go for it. Kiss her back for God's sake!
    Well as I remember now it started a few days before that, but that night really initiated it.

    Thanks for the tips guys, I will wait it out till she texts me back (usually does) and I'll play it cool.

    I'll make sure to post my results here!

  9. #9
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  10. #10
    Kil4pinkphat is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Friend-Zoned, need help re-attracting her

    Well since you've been giving her the cold shoulder every time you meet up try and meet up again. This time actually kiss her back.. You wonder why you are confused but what you are doing is confusing the hell out of her lol.


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