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  1. #1
    HealthNut is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need Advice- Going from Pursuee to Pursuer to Nothing

    I'll try and make this as short as poss. but I want to give the whole pic. About 2 months ago I was invited by a buddy to go out on his boat to be his wing man for a girl that was bringing her best-friend who had a boyfriend. I went to help him out, no expectations and the 4 of us had a great time! BTW this girl was an HB8.
    Fast forward to a month later he invited me again and told me I should go cuz his girls best-friend(HB8) broke up with her bf. I wasn't up for it so i declined. Then again 2 weeks later he asks me to go, because HB8 would only go if I did. So I did and we had an amazing time, she initiated keno at beginning and end with hugs. HB8 even said it was the perfect day! So we decided to go on a double date and we all went great, she initiates keno again and tells me she had a great time.
    So I get her number, set up a dinner for just the 2 of us. We go out to a nice dinner all goes great. Since we both recently got out of relationships I didn't try to k-close but she always initiated the hug. We then decide to go to a concert with the other couple. So i pick her up for the concert and we meet up at her best-friends house to do a little pre partying. All goes great so we get to the concert and I thought I'd turn it up a little and initiate keno by putting my arm around her and i notice that shes a little uncomfortable so i back off. By the end of the concert she does it to me. We had a great time, at the end of the night her friend from work meets up and decides to go sleep at HB8's house so I don't have to give her a ride. She gives me a hug and tells me she had a great time. She texts me when she gets home and tells me she's home safe, thanks me for a great night. I'm thinking this is great!
    Next day I text with one of the usual funny openers and I get nothing. I wait till that night and text her again. Here are the texts after no response:
    Me: Hey you little swan, you're not in jail are you ? :-)
    HB8: Little swan?! Haha I was ...Now on the way home
    Me: I'm glad you go out! Get home safe and enjoy the weekend with your mom and sis.
    Then no response. I don't text her all next day (Sat). Then i decide to text her on Sunday with:
    Me: Stop!
    HB8: ?
    Me: Thinking about me and smiling
    No response again. So I never texted her again but I'm like wtf? Today I find out from my friend that she thinks I'm too much like her ex and "doesnt want to make a lateral move". WTF? The whole situation is kind of weird to me. So its not like I'm crazy about this girl or anything, I just thought she was a cool chick. I would have never thought about pursuing her if she didn't initiate.
    So I know this is really long but any thoughts or advice on the situation would be appreciated.

    HN

  2. #2
    dave-fun is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Advice- Going from Pursuee to Pursuer to Nothing

    Well, from what you have described I see the problem in physical escalation and proper kino. No k-closed and no physical mystery after 2-3 dates usually makes them dive into their logic and that's what we have to avoid.

    I'm almost sure that with a kiss and a deeper intimate touches the situation would have not been the same.

    Your next question: What should you do now?

    I would leave her for a while (1 or two weeks) then text her and escalate and set up a date and re-do the attraction phase with a proper and deeper kino.
    My 2 cents!

  3. #3
    HealthNut is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Advice- Going from Pursuee to Pursuer to Nothing

    Thanks for the response d-f! I guess I didn't think of it as me moving too slow, I always have the problem of moving too fast. I'll give your suggestion a try and see what happens. Any ideas on what kind of text opener to use in a situation like this?

    Also any other thoughts/ideas/comments on the original post would be greatly appreciated.

    HN

  4. #4
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Advice- Going from Pursuee to Pursuer to Nothing

    your problem is that you should never become the persuer, it should never get that far, and if it does, dont persue, simply freeze out and wait for her to persue her, maybe show your worth persueing
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  5. #5
    HealthNut is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Advice- Going from Pursuee to Pursuer to Nothing

    Thanks Dalton, I guess I'm freezing out now. I haven't contacted her. I'm just trying to figure out the next move. I don't feel like I should just give up.
    HN

  6. #6
    daltonbrayall is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Advice- Going from Pursuee to Pursuer to Nothing

    i wouldnt give up if i were you.
    If i get a guy some a$$, he gets it for a day; if i teach him how to get it for himself, he's tappin forever

  7. #7
    HealthNut is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Advice- Going from Pursuee to Pursuer to Nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by daltonbrayall View Post
    i wouldnt give up if i were you.
    So what would be your next move in this situation?
    HN

  8. #8
    dave-fun is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Advice- Going from Pursuee to Pursuer to Nothing

    I just hope that she does not know that your friends told you about her. I would freeze for two weeks to create mystery and let her feel that she is missing something. She might get back to you or might not. After two weeks I go for a cold opener to see if you can set a meet up. No date set up. Call it meet up for a coffee. DO NOT propose a dinner or anything else.

    If it did not work still have to approach her with your social circle. Throw a party or if you are invited to a party let her know. If she is in a group of people she is less stressed. There you should bring up your jealousy game and social approval proof and make the least attention to her but to the other girls. If you have some girl friends they can even fake it. It usually works.

    If you get a chance, you can go straight with plan B.
    My 2 cents!

  9. #9
    HealthNut is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Advice- Going from Pursuee to Pursuer to Nothing

    Doubt that I'll be able to do the 2nd option at this time, so I'll text her with an opener in a couple weeks.
    HN


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