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Thread: Are my social skills really this bad?

  1. #11
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Are my social skills really this bad?

    i would say reading the game before MM would be more useful as it gives a clearer insight into the whole PUA world and what can be done, don't get me wrong, i enjoyed the game thoroughly :P

    Most people aren't observant enough to really give a good answer. Most of your guys friends will just tell you to "be confident"
    and most chick friends will just say "I don't know why, you just seem like a friend" Only about 1 in 20 will be able to get more specifi than that, and only barely more specific. You'll be able to find better answers here.

    i agree with this chunk to an extent. the guys are probably afcs and will give afc advice, we on the other hand can tell give advise based on the info you give (providing it's accurate)

    as for asking women, instead of asking them why you fail, just ask them simply (especially the ones you've been friends with for a while), just say look i'm trying to make massive changes and i want you to answer this as honest as possible...what are my flaws?
    -at this point they can try and be nice and say you don't have any, just persist if they say you have none, everyone has flaws. apparently i had none and i was the perfect bf, and then the realisation came i was a doormat that got walked all over, maybe you don't stand up for yourself?

    just throwing the bait

  2. #12
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Are my social skills really this bad?

    I know this is a PUA forum so this may sound like sacrilege but I think you're too concerned with your first time. You wanna make it happen, but it's not happening so you get worked up and psych yourself out. Then you get some ridiculous notion that you are fatally flawed which makes you psych yourself out more. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    I'd say drop all your goals when it comes to getting laid. Don't worry about hooking up at all not even kissing. Girls HATE guys that are goal-oriented and they can sniff it a mile away. Beta males worry about hooking up, for alphas it just kinda happens cus they have such an awesome life that they have better things to worry about than hooking up with a singular broad.

    Just try and have fun with girls. Drop all goals. Make friends with them. Learn to talk to them then learn to flirt. Dude hanging out/flirting with girls is fun, don't cheat yourself out of that by worrying about hooking up. Revel in the here and now. Hooking up just kinda happens when you stop worrying about it, it's a zen thing. Talk to guys too, talk to fat chicks, talk to old people, talk to everyone - learn to listen, open people up and validate their emotions. This will make talking to girls so much easier, and ultimately make you a more interesting and genuine person.

    I'm a 21 year old virgin myself so take my opinion with a grain of salt. But that also means I get what you're going through. I used to feel the same way about the fatal flaw thing. Not so anymore. FWIW I have gotten more results than ever from this new attitude and it's helped my mental health. You can be an alpha male and virgin - just don't be so damn needy about getting laid. Girls won't care you're inexperienced if you don't. Your only fatal flaw is that you think you have one.

    If you have any hobbies pursue them, if not find some. Find a passion that isn't women. Mine is rock and roll. Good luck bro.


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