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Thread: Most guys ruin it for the PUAs (Qualification)

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Most guys ruin it for the PUAs (Qualification)

    Quote Originally Posted by Shakeshi View Post
    Also some people like to project their issues onto other people.
    This way they can feel like the victim of someone else's
    behavior instead of the perpetrator of their own behavior.
    Being the victim means that they do not have to fix anything
    which leaves them blameless.

    I have met more than a few people who were always ultra paranoid that
    their significant other was cheating on them when in fact they were
    the ones cheating on a constant basis.

    Ask yourself if her trust issues had more to do with her actions
    or the actions of others because if she did indeed dump you
    over nothing then it was her loyalty that should have been in
    question.
    That was poetic. Lmao

    plus thirty
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  2. #12
    misterp2112 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Most guys ruin it for the PUAs (Qualification)

    This is a great thread. Thanks everyone for your responses.

    I appreciate all that has been said.

    This is my 2nd breakup with her. We broke up once before and it was over this same issue.

    Prior to the 1st breakup, it went down like this. You see, she had a prior boyfriend. They used to talk here and there. She and I had been chatting all the time and I was sort of playing the field on POF. Little did I know, she was watching me. She was feeling really hurt and like she was inadequate. Why would I go on POF, when she was my friend? I had no idea I was hurting her so much. Meanwhile, she ended up cheating with that former bf. I am sure it was out of a need for personal reinforcement, or maybe just spite. We chatted and she said she regretted what she did and wanted to be "exclusive". I forgave her and reluctantly agreed as I had literally started chatting someone else and simply wanted to see where it would go. I should have been up front. I am not sure if this other person was an alias she had or a friend. It turned out that this other person turned out to be a bore and I lost interest. But, by then it was too late. She made up some BS excuse and broke up with me. I tried to chat her to see if she was OK and she practically ignored me. Long story short, I blasted her and essentially said "Good Luck" finding someone as good for her as me. That brought her back. We got back together as I marked my profile "Taken" and we have been happy for the last few months. We got closer than before, chatted all the time, amazing sex, etc.

    This person who she had cheated with appeared back in her life and she told me that she hated him, but she was really pissed off at him for him saying that he was starting a new relationship and throwing it in her face. I helped her to understand he was farking with her and she agreed and told me I was "absolutely the best" and thanked me for helping her to sort it out. I didn't freak and she loved that. She saw me as a rock and called me manly.

    Fast forward, I travel for business. I had an alternate alias that I had in my back pocket. In any event, I played around with this id, moving it to place I frequent on travel. I updated it and did some searching. At some point, I said, "Why the fark am I dong this?" I wanted to delete it, but I'm busy and didn't know how, so I moved it really far away from my home. She figured out it was me, and called me on it. I didn't want to hurt her and that's why I moved it so far away, but, there was no explaining this to her. I had forgotten I even used it!! That is how made up my mind was. The timing was extremely unfortunate, but, she had obviously watching that id all along. She had favorited it.

    I created a new POF profile, and SHE just wrote to me. Talk about a natural attraction between 2 people. lol I can't believe she doesn't know it is me she is writing to. In any event, the connection we shared was really strong. She will not find anyone like me. I gave her the only multiple orgasms she has ever had. I am sure I can find someone else, but, like I said this connection was really magnetic.

    All this being said, what happened is all a HUGE misunderstanding.

    I'm thinking I should ignore her, but, our chemistry was off the charts. You guys must think I am crazy to even consider her again. I'm starting to wonder if I am.....

    A few thoughts, and questions.

    Do you think she cheated a 2nd time? Sure seems as if she might have based on unjustly she treated me. You may be right Shakeshi.

    Should I just blow her off?

    Should I inform her who she is writing to?

    After the 1st breakup, she had changed her screen id, but I figured that out and totally know it is her. Then again, I don't think she realizes I know it is her.

    On the outside chance this works out, she will likely want me to see only her, but, I don't want this. It's not that I want to "fark" the world but, I want to be free to do what I want, if a good thing comes along while I'm on travel.

  3. #13
    misterp2112 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Most guys ruin it for the PUAs (Qualification)

    Oh, and while I may have given her some reason to trust me less than she might if I had a totally clean slate, she explained to me that though I seemed like a great guy, she "TRUSTED NOONE!" from POF and that she has never been wrong as others have done things to "prove her right" about not trusting men from the site.

    Seems to me she is looking to trip everyone up .....

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Most guys ruin it for the PUAs (Qualification)

    Idk man. If it was my woman and she asked me why I'm on POF I'd tell her "Obviously I'm looking for a replacement. You just aren't doing you're job. I require constant attention and told that I'm pretty at least twice a day." Watch your frame and don't feed into hers. Downplay her frame even.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Most guys ruin it for the PUAs (Qualification)

    Honestly, I wouldn't get too hung up on this one relationship. Sounds like there are tons of deep issues with both of you. You need to look at yourself and fix things. She needs to do the same for herself, but you can't do it for her. You can't expect much out of the relationship with her.

    Cheating
    Multiple breakups
    Fishing for other mates
    Just the fact you two are obsessed with the net
    All the other things I missed

    Even if the sex is great, if that's all you want from this, then just sacrifice it and move on. It sounds like it's causing more damage than any good. You're already doubting yourself and thinking you're crazy for considering her again. Well, you're only answering your own questions. One thing we forget about when gaming is dealing with the actual relationship.

  6. #16
    Shakeshi is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Most guys ruin it for the PUAs (Qualification)

    Sounds like the two of you are bad for one another. You both want two
    different things and are being manipulative to each other to try to get it.
    Chances are that even if you get back together again, you will do
    something to set off her suspicions and then she will try to do
    something to retaliate. Its a no win situation.

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Most guys ruin it for the PUAs (Qualification)

    My advice, meet her mother a few times before you ask her out, there just as annoying as there mums trust me
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  8. #18
    misterp2112 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Most guys ruin it for the PUAs (Qualification)

    Once again, wonderful responses from everyone. Very much appreciated.

    Obviously, I've aired all the dirty laundry here, but, there were many, many good times too.

    Have to think long and hard on this one. This experience, as those in life do, has taught me much about myself, and what I need to work on to improve myself.

    Guess I am going to ignore her greeting. She will likely come back anyway when she finds no one else. I'm going to remain fluid.

    Have a great day guys.


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