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  1. #1
    puaoneday is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default So confused, girl rejects me then texts me

    Hi all,

    I'm very confused with the situation I'm in. I met a girl, got her number, texted her, called her, had flirty, emotional, and sexual conversation. Had good kino the few times I've met her (not in a date situation, like where she works)

    Then I took her on a date at night to the beach. It's too windy so we leave in an hour and she had to go then anyways. We had amazing convo and great kino. Then when it's time to say bye I try kissing her and she rejects me (*lean in after giving a kiss on cheek* she pulls back and says "what" "I want to give you a real kiss good night" and she responds "why?"... But later she sends me a text, the same flirty way as if nothing happened before... I don't know if she's playing hard to get and wants me to keep playing these games to finally get her. Or whether she wants to just be friends and doesn't want to lose me.

    I just need some guidance because I'm overthinking and REFUSE to waste time on another girl to get into the friendzone, however she's a really cool girl and don't want to end something that could've been good.

    She is 25 I'm 21, and i don't think she's looking for anything serious from me*
    Shes from Spain and doesn't have many friends here besides one girl I think*

  2. #2
    GreenTooGood is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: So confused, girl rejects me then texts me

    Dude, I feel like I am in the SAME position as you.

    I met this really cool HB8 at school. I got her number, we flirted alot, talked on the phone for hours, and just enjoy eachother companies. She quickly started calling me her "bestfriend" after like a couple of days even thou we have only known eachother for a week now.

    I have had pretty good kino with her at school and at her house, but never much more than that. I asked her out recently when me and her were hanging out after school, but she wouldn't give me an answer in person. She later texted me the whole LJBF speech. Later that night, I was at her house (unfortunately, baked out of my mind) just talking to her, and she admitted a couple of things to me. One of them having to do with one of my best friends abusing my trust which I wont mention, another being that she actually did have feelings for me and often wants to kiss me and do more, but just not ready to get in a relationship. Biggest problem is she just broke up with her ex a month ago (he doesn't live here thou) and I remind her of her ex alot (she says in the good ways, but still never a good comparison). And the finally thing being that she actually has had dirty dreams and thoughts about me. We just held each other closely for a bit and I went home.

    The next day, she acts like nothing happened, and still flirts and kino with me. Like the guy above, I refuse to waste time on another girl just to get stuck in the friendzone. The only solution I have came up with so far, is to freeze her out, and flirt with one of her friends who has shown some interest in me. She seemed pretty PO'd when her friend started flirting with me recently. She commented on it when we were alone, and I teased her about getting jealous. She stated that she thought her friend was "ugly" and if I wanted to be with someone like that, go ahead. (This happened the day after she rejected me and then admitted all those things.)

    Btw this is my first post c: <NEW PUA

  3. #3
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: So confused, girl rejects me then texts me

    You tried a kiss and she's still flirting

    She may see you as an orbiter, someone she keeps around for attention and validation, but it doesn't mean it's over

    If you go in all beta and afc you will hit friend zone, but if you try again confident and tell her like "ok now I want a real kiss", and dont let her falter, then you should be on

    Meanwhile flirt back, don't let it affect you, if you act all insecure and hurt your shot is lost
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  4. #4
    CountMackula is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: So confused, girl rejects me then texts me

    Sounds like you've done great.

    She may not have been ready to be kissed. Sometimes women are not comfortable yet and sort of freak out because maybe the date was good or normal but then she maybe was nervous because of the anticipation of what you might do. Don't think about it as "being rejected" so much.. just think of it as, you kissed a gal you like on the cheek and projected some sort of intimate intention.

    Let her have space and time to analyze it, over analyze it, reanalyze it (because people, often women, do that) and hopefully she'll become more comfortable with the idea and wonder what it might be like to kiss you (and then some: ie fantasize about you a little) and just act like it was no big deal, kinda like she is and hopefully if she's more comfortable she'll be more open to the idea next time and more prepared to let you. Maybe not too so don't get yourself down if it doesn't happen again, there are infinite great women out there.

    As for text and phone "game" (i prefer "philosophy") always think escalation or comfort/rapport. Personally, I like to push for escalation always and if she "pushes you away" you give her space (ie time to think and breath) and if you had escalated too much or too hard (ie too much: moved too quickly than what she is accustomed to/comfortable with; too hard: hard "negs" (i prefer "teases" over "negs" or too assholeish. *PUSH*) you recalibrate and either give equivalent space/time or step back to comfort/rapport (Pull) depending on how hard the push was.. so for example if you texted in the AM "What color panties are you wearing?" Do NOT send further communication until she has had time if it's a woman eho you haven't already had a certain level of intimacy with already.. she may think it sucks and tell her friends or be having a crap morning at school/work and not want to reply but by lunch or clock out time, she may be feeling differently or curious to what you'd say next and then reply.. her response of course would let you know an interest level ie "Im not wearing any" after 5 minutes up til [any time], or "Black lace =P" after 3 hours or "I'm not telling you"/"Why should I tell you?" (I'd view these as a challenge on th first, an attempt at qualification on the second) or of course the no reply (which I think is still ok if you see her around sometimes because at least you projected sexual intent which is what a man should do instead of beating around the bush and maybe she just broke up with someone or isn't feeling sexy that day cuz she's wearing granny panties cuz her washer broke or somethint and it'll maybe work out later if you just don't make a big deal about it) and of course the worst response would be "Lose my number creep" or "Who is this?" (Ie, deleted your #)

    But always take escalation steps in ANY aspect of relations with a woman as they expect men to make the moves, even if she rejects it (and of course women always reserve their right to change their mind if they decide to, so no need to get butthurt if she rejects you ever) but my simple communication escalation rule of thumb is:

    If she texts you, call her
    If she calls you, set up a meet

    Call her when YOU have time.. 45 minutes later when you get your 15 minute break at work is a good time because you don't get distracted texting at work and can finish welding a few things before break and not lose your job because of distractions but also you call because you're responding to her message and have a built in topic she provided via text if you're mind is blank, plus you have a built in reason to keep the call at reasonable length which prevents boring/stale conversation because "ok Baby I gotta go back and shovel more rocks with my totally ripped biceps but grab a drink with me later" etc

    If she communicates TO you in any way, assume some level of interest... even if it's just her curiousity, it's her coming TO you and she wants to talk. In the world of opportunity, that my friend is called .. um.. opportunity. It's your job to man up and show her what you're workin with.

    So:
    She texts you? call her
    She calls you? invite her to meet

    She rejects you/ pushes you away? Give her space to sort out her feelings

    No one tactic works for all women.. every woman is different but it's a decent starting point.

    Mackula


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