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Thread: Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

  1. #1
    kidsinatra is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

    Hey guys, so I've been spending a lot of time with this girl.
    We have an extensive history, but I just recently opened up to her.

    She's told me numerous times how much she thinks of me, how much she loves me, and how crazy she is about me.

    I just recently told her that I feel the same way, and I think the world of her. She replied by basically saying she feels the same way.

    The day after we 'opened up' to eachother/ I finally opened up to her, she didn't text me all day (she normally texts me back and forth ALL day, we're talking 3-4 texts back and forth an hour MINUMUM.
    It's just the type of relationship we have.

    I'm wondering if me opening up to her killed her desire for me?

    If so, how to I recover and redevelop that desire in her?

  2. #2
    jackcade is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

    dude she opened up for you. it sounds like you are in.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

    Yes opening up to her was a good thing but maybe you told her to much, and now she thinks she has you, and no longer see you as a challenge. Sometimes women bait us so we can reveal more about ourselves, and the main things to do is hold back a little to keep them guessing and wondering. But wait there is more! You can repair the damage by being elusive hanging with your buds more that sort of stuff giving her the impression that she really doesn't know you as well as she thought, and that there is more too you. Make yourself a challenge again in her eyes even going so far as to use the triangle technique.

  4. #4
    kidsinatra is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

    Quote Originally Posted by jackcade View Post
    dude she opened up for you. it sounds like you are in.
    It sure does Sound like it.

    We were in a relationship months ago, and she portrayed a loss of interest when I opened up to her back then.

    The relationship then ended, my assumption - becuase I figured it was no fun for her as I opened up to her. She has me believing the contrary though. The relationship ended due to a terrible miscommunication.

    We're now back to spending a lot of time together,

    I'm texting her one night and she seems completely disinterested, so I text her a sort of a homebrew poem.

    She says she farking hates me because it's stuff like that that makes her fall entirely in love with me and makes her unable to stop thinking about me.

    I text her back saying basically, I feel just as strongly about her and I think she's incredible.

    She texts me back saying she's so terrified of the day I leave (in a few months) because she's going to be heartbroken and depressed.

    She tells me that she loves me more than I could ever imagine, and that she cried herself to sleep that morning.

    The next day communication goes cold (no texts) and today, very sparing amount of texting back and forth.

    A part of me thinks she's just comfortable now in the 'relationship' now that she knows I have reciprocal feelings for her, and no longer feels the need to blow up my phone all day?

  5. #5
    kidsinatra is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

    Quote Originally Posted by flyer1 View Post
    Yes opening up to her was a good thing but maybe you told her to much, and now she thinks she has you, and no longer see you as a challenge. Sometimes women bait us so we can reveal more about ourselves, and the main things to do is hold back a little to keep them guessing and wondering. But wait there is more! You can repair the damage by being elusive hanging with your buds more that sort of stuff giving her the impression that she really doesn't know you as well as she thought, and that there is more too you. Make yourself a challenge again in her eyes even going so far as to use the triangle technique.

    I've been spending time with another classmate in the class we have together, a moderately attractive girl, (I'm not into her at all, but to any other guy she'd be a hell of a catch).

    When she sees me spending time with this classmate, she develops a profound amount of jealousy.
    Could the combination of me opening up and me continuing to study and hang out with this other girl increase my value as a partner, as she will think 'this guy can have really beautiful girls if he wants, but he loves ME'?

    I also think mainting high levels of value and social proof, remaining jovial and light hearted/funny when we hang out, will keep her well on the hook.

    Also showing her great life experiences? Rock climbing, kyaking, concerts, sports games, etc..?

  6. #6
    kidsinatra is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

    Also, is it too late to do some light disqualifying?

  7. #7
    kidsinatra is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

    Sorry for multiposting, but I'm beginning to believe push-pull would be a good idea.

    Anyone?

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

    To answer your title, yes. It was a poor call. I'm not a man of damage control; I'm one of preventative measures. Similar to the friendzone, just don't go there and you won't have to deal with it, but you did.

    Why? Because it serves no practical purpose in your favor. You just ended the game. You reinforced her notions and now it's over.

    Why? Why tell her how you feel? I'm not trying to be a d*ck, but what were you thinking? What would you gain from doing such a thing? Of course you like her. If you didn't you wouldn't be spending time with her and doing whatever it is that you do, so what purpose would telling her possibly serve? To make her feel better? She likes the tension. It's a love-hate relationship with a lot more love.

    In the future, don't do it again. She'll reach a point where she begs for it, but don't give it to her. A typical conversation that I have with women:

    Her: "I guess I just don't really know what you think of me..."

    Me: "Do I spend time with you?"

    Her: "Yes..."

    Me: "Do I seem to enjoy myself?"

    Her: "Yeah..."

    Me: "Do we flirt?"

    Her: "I think so..."

    Me: "What else do you need to know? You're a smart girl. You can do the math."
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  9. #9
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    Default Re: Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

    I feel that there ARE times with a woman that you can tell her how you feel and she would be fine. However, not all women are alike. Some just respond the way your friend is and just back off where as others give you MORE attention after you reveal them.

    She just may be the type that you can't reveal your feelings to her. If you do then do not overdo it. But you should know by now that if she backs off every time you tell her how you feel then STOP DOING IT.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  10. #10
    kidsinatra is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Revealing Feelings A Poor Call?

    So Cody made it clear he doesn't do damage control.

    Anyone have any ideas how I can make an attempt at recovery?

    She did just tell me I've been running through her mind all day.

    All is not lost, so I want to start moving back in the direction of the palm of my hand.


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