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Thread: Have The Tables Turned?

  1. #1
    Splitting The Atom's Avatar
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    Default Have The Tables Turned?

    This is my first thread so please go easy on me.

    Something a little bizarre happened. A girl was totally attracted to me and after a little while it seemed to just disappear in a matter of days.

    We had just finished a lecture, I was the last person out of the building. From the corner of my eye, I see someone walking along, stop and then turn to my direction. I look up and see a cute brunette I had first spotted a week ago. "Hi." she says all smiley. "Did I miss the lecture?" "Yeah, we just finished." etc. She is quite chatty whilst I say only a few words. "I'm Samantha. What's your name?" (Indicator of Interest) She was acting the way I used to around girls, talkative and eager. (She sits close to me in class so I know she doesn't talk this much usually) I was pretty certain she liked me and wasn't able to believe that for the first time a girl approached me and not the other way around

    We walk to class together, she's doing most of the talking. We then part to our desks. See her the next day. We accidentally caught each others eye and she gave me a smile no girl has ever given me. I smile back and say hi, she says hi back. Later that day, I was in the corner of the room where we have to sign our names onto the register for the day and I'm the only one around. I see Samantha walk through the door, stop, notice me and then she comes to the register. (I.O.I) Now you're probably asking how I know it was an I.O.I. Well, I looked down and noticed she had already signed in for the day. She was trying to get a conversation going, but I kept the Cat String theory in mind and walked away without saying anything or evening noticing her. (Looking back I think that was a mistake) Another I.O.I was that she likes my picture of eggs a little too much. (I do art)

    I meet her again on the staircase going to the classroom a few days later, "How are you?" She asks. "I'm great. How are you?" etc. I decided its been enough time and decide to talk to her a little when we get to class (It was still lunch)

    I sit near one of her tables and I start out all confident but after about two minutes I start getting a little nervous because the conversation isn't flowing as well as I expected. I'm asking a few questions expecting her to ask some back and get it going, I'm asking stuff like: "Hey, didn't you say you played Reggae?" and such, but she's not elaborating. And I'm not able to think of any decent ones so quickly. I was thrown off and what threw me off even more was that she was yawning after 2 minutes (but she had been tired that day) and checking her nails after another 2 minutes. (I have no reason for the nails)

    So that didn't go too well, I'm worried at this stage. I hate leaving things on awkward notes so I shortly after asked if I could borrow her masking tape. I know she really likes Bob Marley so after using the tape I wrote "Thanks." and then wrote the opening lyrics to one of his songs on the tape with some music notes and gave it back to her. I walk away and she laughs at my little joke. I feel a little better.

    Now I don't know if today didnt go too well because she was tired, or she was expecting me to be more "badass" (I'm quite a tall, broad, big guy who was wearing a very noticeable new red hoodie with artistic designs on it (Peacock Theory) and two silver rings, but I'm more shy and "sweet" than most guys of my build and "look") or if I said something wrong? Did I mess up? What can I do to recover?

    P.S. Thank you for your time and apologies for the slightly long read
    Last edited by Splitting The Atom; 10-15-2012 at 06:14 PM. Reason: Spelling

  2. #2
    Shakeshi is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Have The Tables Turned?

    You are too oversensitive to what others think. I knew that as soon
    as I read the first sentence in your post with "please go easy on me".
    You cannot always control how people react to you but you can learn
    how to better control how to deal with their reactions.

    As you are probably aware your sensitivity stems from you having
    poor expectations of how people are going to react to you. You
    are constantly on the lookout for signs of displeasure from
    others and often view benign incidents as negative reactions.

    Imagine yourself driving an automobile that you erroneously believe
    is always veering towards the left. You respond to your belief that
    you are headed into the driver's lane to the left of you by overcorrecting
    with a hard turn to the right. This is what is happening when you
    respond to a yawn by getting overly nervous and or clamming up.

    You are giving too much significance to that one incidence of her
    yawning and looking at her nails. There is not much advice that can be
    given for you to recover from something that probably merits no
    recovery. Relax, she likes you.

  3. #3
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have The Tables Turned?

    Have you tried to escalate at all? I mean you've already seen her in class like 3 times. She def likes you by all the IOI's she's giving you. So did you ask for her number? Did u start doing kino on her... holding hands, hugs etc?

    If she is already giving IOI's, but you are not moving things along, she may be frustrated and think your a loser.

    Get her number and try to set something up like a study date. If she responds, u may still have a chance.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  4. #4
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    Default Re: Have The Tables Turned?

    I agree with Shakeshi just relax the girl does like you but what you need to do is be more alpha and take the lead in some of the encounters with her because if you don't you are going to end up in the friendzone. Don't give her that much credit that she is bored and you are not an interesting person when she talks to you or else you will be more nervous during those encounters. Keeping reading about how to approach women, the texting bible and body language because this will help you a lot when you get further along with your game and her. Go for it!

  5. #5
    Splitting The Atom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have The Tables Turned?

    Thank you for the words. I really appreciate it a lot and I'm sure you'll be happy to know I was able to get over my "clamming up"s today and was able to talk to her confidently without being nervous.

    There is just one other thing I would like to ask you today. How do you think I should go about asking her out? Do you think I should ask her out straight? Something along the lines of "I think you're a great girl and I would like to take you out" or something more casual? ("Hey, me and some of my friends are going out to *enter bar, pub, place or area here*, would you like to come?)
    "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Have The Tables Turned?

    She is already attracted so you have to qualify her. (Qualification in a nutshell is getting her to show/tell you why you should be interested in her) This gives you a reason to express your interest in her openly and it shows her that you are interested in more than her looks. Then the date setup naturally comes after.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    flyer1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have The Tables Turned?

    I think you should qualify her but you can do that over coffee or a some other drink during class break or whatever. The main thing is to keep the exchange light and just show your interest in her but don't go into detail of revealing your feelings or anything because that is the fastest one way ticket to the dreaded friendzone. Then after you felt you have qualiified her you can ask her to a movie, art showing or even a function that maybe going on at the school during the week or weekend and it would be even great if its something you both have an interest in. The alpha way would be to ak her like this!

    You: I'm going to xyz on friday at 8:13 would you like to go with?

    And most of the time she will say yes and plus this will show that you are alpha in that you made a decision and will go with or without her and have fun. All the best to you!


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