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Thread: "Text buddy" girls, that never actually hang out..?

  1. #1
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default "Text buddy" girls, that never actually hang out..?

    The title sums this one up. In a recent post I talked about a girl that texts me all the time. About a week ago she agreed to go out for some drinks, then came up with a random flake excuse at the last minute (at least I think excuse.. said her grandma fell down the stairs.. but could've been legit hard to say). I kind of wrote her off after that, basically only responding to her texts, however she keeps initiating texting me every day. Things like "good morning , or just random smiley faces, and then we will text back and forth for awhile.

    I'm getting the feeling that she just keeps me around as a text buddy, because again I mentioned at some point "we gotta get those drinks we missed real soon.." and she went SILENT, to which I havn't said anything else back as well. Although it has only been about 2-3 hours since the text, she could be busy.

    But besides for just this girl, this brings up a bigger question about these "text buddy flakes" in general, because I have had MANY of these situations come up. Both with girls I've met online, and in person (worse with online ones, including the one mentioned above).

    How do we remedy this. Normal action is to stop responding to their texts, but that dosn't always work, because it just jacks them up even more and then they really start chasing. Then it goes in a circle:

    Guy asks to hang out.... girl ignores or flakes.... guy ignores for awhile....girl reaches out.... guy finally responds & gets back into conversation... guy asks her out... girl flakes... (repeat)

    Is it best to call them out with a "you know as much as I like talking with you, I'm not going to continue if we don't hang out in person"??

    or other ideas?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: "Text buddy" girls, that never actually hang out..?

    I say keep texting her, & make her YOUR text buddy!


    I have several of those myself.
    They're great for experimenting with & sharpening your text game.

    I would also try sending her different types of texts.
    So instead of saying "we gotta get those drinks we missed real soon."

    Bring it up in this type of style:
    "Hey mamacita, margaritas Sat nite. Come to my place & we'll roll @ 7:27 ! Adios mi amiga!"

    Or if you're asking her out for a bite to eat :
    "Sushi time... tomorrow 6:06 PM. The Yellowfin roll is to die for! "

    Make it fun & playful.
    Make it sound interesting, so it compels her to want to participate.

    You're basically stating the same thing, but it's in a way that gets her attention & appeals to her sense of emotion & imagination.


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  3. #3
    nuckchorris is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: "Text buddy" girls, that never actually hang out..?

    youre friend zoned man. next time just say something like '' you, me, ________'' 3:00 oclock. if she shows no interest cut her off she just wants a bff

  4. #4
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    Default Re: "Text buddy" girls, that never actually hang out..?

    I am struggling with the same thing, except instead of texts its facebook and twitter. FZ'd.
    I really dig this chick, almost got the onesies.
    She broke up with her boyfriend 2 weeks ago and came over at midnight the same day to smoke a herbal cigarette, and since then its been this stupid back and forth.
    Help me out here bro's.

  5. #5
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: "Text buddy" girls, that never actually hang out..?

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    I say keep texting her, & make her YOUR text buddy!


    I have several of those myself.
    They're great for experimenting with & sharpening your text game.

    I would also try sending her different types of texts.
    So instead of saying "we gotta get those drinks we missed real soon."

    Bring it up in this type of style:
    "Hey mamacita, margaritas Sat nite. Come to my place & we'll roll @ 7:27 ! Adios mi amiga!"

    Or if you're asking her out for a bite to eat :
    "Sushi time... tomorrow 6:06 PM. The Yellowfin roll is to die for! "

    Make it fun & playful.
    Make it sound interesting, so it compels her to want to participate.

    You're basically stating the same thing, but it's in a way that gets her attention & appeals to her sense of emotion & imagination.
    Thanks for the reply's guys. T-Mal, I have used some of your tips in your texting guide and they have worked great. In this case... for the most part I have been keeping it interesting, fun, and flirty with my texts to this girl, such as you mention above. I actually had some pretty good ones that really got her going last week, and some very sexual stuff, so I can't imagined that I'm friend zoned yet..

    Yes in this particular message I did the slightly dry "we gotta get those drinks.." but I didn't feel the vibe is right for one of those silly texts here.... I'm just kind of serious with her... meet up or die (hehe). But ya, I totally get what your saying about keeping it fun.

    Now: Help on this. After my last message (we gotta get those drinks we missed real soon) she just responded after 2 hours:

    " yea yea"

    I'd normally take that as that she's not that interested, but who knows, she could be playing games, and didn't say no..

    What to respond to that! I was thinking either "don't sound too interested now.." or "I take back my offer"

    and see how she responds. Last one is kind of risky though..?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: "Text buddy" girls, that never actually hang out..?

    This sounds like a semi-sh1t test & a bit of her razzing you for fun.... in a playful way. (But it's hard to get the inflection of her response just through text)

    Anyway, I'd give her a dose of good ol' fashioned "right back at ya with that game" type of response.

    "K K"

    Followed directly by: "You big dork! I'm going without you then, cause I'm thirsty. Peace out girl scout"


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  7. #7
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: "Text buddy" girls, that never actually hang out..?

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    This sounds like a semi-sh1t test & a bit of her razzing you for fun.... in a playful way. (But it's hard to get the inflection of her response just through text)

    Anyway, I'd give her a dose of good ol' fashioned "right back at ya with that game" type of response.

    "K K"

    Followed directly by: "You big dork! I'm going without you then, cause I'm thirsty. Peace out girl scout"
    Haha, I'm sending the K K , we'll see what her response is. I havn't actually talked with her about a date or time yet so I'm not sure how I'd smoothly fit in the second part of your message?"

    I would like to go with her Friday night (or possibly tomorrow), so I guess I could just say "You dork! I'm going with or without you then Friday, cause I'm thirsty , Peace out...."

    What do you think? I'm just not sure about the second part of the message


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