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  • 1 Post By whitedragon

Thread: Did I mess this up with girl I like a lot?

  1. #1
    blueshell99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Did I mess this up with girl I like a lot?

    Ok so I like this girl a lot. I met her last semester, but didn't really know her much. She tried to get to know me all the time, but I never did anything. This semester I got her number earlier this month and we text sometimes. One day she wanted an invite to some place I was going, so I texted her and she came. Then we decided to make it a routine to go to that place like three days a week (gym). one night when she was out bar hopping with the whole school, she texted me while i was studying alone saying Hi. I responded but she didnt respond back. my friends think its because she wanted me to think about her while she was not around me. I am pretty confident around her and whatnot all the time. I neg her and make her laugh. So we had a busy schedule on one of the days we were supposed to go hang out so neither one of us said anything that day. Later that night she texts me if we could go the next day. I said yea, but then an hour before we were supposed to go to the gym, i bailed because i found out one of my friends was going so I didnt want to be there with him and her. then like an idiot i change my mind in about like 40 minutes and tell her to come if she wants. she said she already did cardio so she was going to get back to her assignment. I asked if she wants to go the next day, she said she might and she will let me know because she will have to study for a quiz. ok now the thing with this story is that, i really doubt she ran that day when i changed plans. it sounds too sketchy. another thing is that she only has 1 quiz to study for and nothing else all day. she came last time when she had a test the next day.

    has she lost interest?

    there isnt really much of a dating pool at our school. she holds me up to her standards but not really anyone else. she even got me coffee today. i have hung out with her once but i kind of like her already. idk if she has a crush on me but the way she smiles at me makes me wonder. i always catch her looking at me too. and she told my friend that she thinks im attractive and cute.

    what are my next moves? should i try to see her tomorrow to hang out? freeze her out? what is up?

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I mess this up?

    Has she lost interest? It sounds like you are not interested. Who cares whether she did cardio or not or why she didnt respond while out on a pub crawl. If you like her ask her out. It's that farking simple. Going to the gym is not a date that will escalate anything. Text her and say 'you, me, dinner tonight, part of keeping fit is eating well and I know a great modern cafe, pick you up at 7?'

    You're over thinking all sorts of irrelevent details and not making any move on the bigger picture. Take the lead man.

  3. #3
    blueshell99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I mess this up?

    dude you're right. although ive been thinking about taking her to a park at night...would that be good as well?

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I mess this up?

    Take her to the park after a 'quick bite to eat'. If you go straight to a park you will have no connection from conversation built...you will be wondering around endlessly contemplating whether you should kiss her or not talking about trees and park benches and stuff. Its much better to go for a quick, cheap but delicous cafe meal, have a great conversation (about something other than the gym) that develops emotional ties and then you have a chance to observe her signals. If you say 'lets go to a park' she will wear something casual and possibly treat it as a 'friendship' activity. If you say lets go out for dinner you can then gauge very effectively what she thinks of you by how much effort she puts into going out with you (nice dress, make up, hair done). She will be forced to put her cards on the table and hopefully respect your confidence in knowing what you want.

    You can observe her body language at the table - is she copying your moves, playing with her hair, laughing at your jokes? Is she opening up about her life? Touch her gently when you meet and when you say meaningful things...is she receptive or cold? All these things will conclude with the dinner and you will be in a much stronger position to know you can make a move afterwards. Then after dinner you say 'lets go for a stroll in the park' take her hand and kiss her fairly soon afterwards. The park is not a 1st date, it is a romantic setting for you to privately kiss after your dinner/drink/coffee date. Nothing beats food and conversation for a first date in principle.

  5. #5
    blueshell99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I mess this up?

    welp so im really bad at this i guess.
    i havent talked to her in a few days since ive been studying. so today i text her and the convo leads to her asking where i work. i said "some restaurant" she said no way you should bring me free bread. i replied saying saying you know they will be stale by the time i get them to you right? she hasnt replied since but she could be busy idk its been like 30 minutes, and i regret not asking her to go with me next week... wtf do i do, i feel like im just shoving myself in the friend zone here. how many more slip ups do i have?

  6. #6
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I mess this up?

    from my understanding when people want "free bread" it's almost like a troll request, bread costs next to nothing anyway so you arrange a meet pronto and bring her the stale bread as requested and most likely from there you can neg her for not eating your bread because it's a rock and be offended -playful manner of course-

    30minutes is not long enough to gauge where you are by a txt msg...2-3 days maybe yeah just relax on that one she'll get back to you (y)

  7. #7
    blueshell99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I mess this up?

    ok im like digging myself a grave here. so back to the convo where we were talking about where we work. by the way the place i work is known for their bread so it wasn't a troll question. before i tell her she sent me a pic of her pet. i neg her by saying damn its ugly reminds me of you . well this turned out to be a very bad move. turns out she is sensitive about it. well at first i thought she took it well. then she brought it up to one of our friends when we were in the library and we laughed it off, she seemed like she was just like grinning and trying to act like she was sad. then later a few hours later she was mentioning to my friends that she should be a vet cause she likes animals. everyone was like i like animals too blah blah and i was like i dislike them. then my friend is like is that why you compare her to a dog? and i then like a complete idiot take it really far and was like yea atleast im straight forward and don't lie about it right? she was grinning but was like fark you while she was turned around. then i was playfully calling her name out and was like im just kidding but she was just grinning and was trying to take notes. then a few moments later she gets up and walks around to the other side of the table where we cant see her without saying anything. so then my friends are like ohh damn shes mad. while she was getting up and moving i was looking at her, she quickly looked away and moved. so then moments later i was leaving the library, before i do i go to where she was and was like hey i was just kidding. she was really serious and was like "yea". i then said again for real though i was just kidding and she was like "ok and you should go" so then i quickly leave the library.

    half hour later i call her. convo went like this
    me: hey i just want to say that i was out of line for saying that and i was just joking but i really should not have said any of that.
    her: you know i really try to be nice to everyone and i still get a lot of crap. you really hurt my feelings, thats not something you should say to a girl ever especially in public.
    me: i know i messed up i shouldnt have ever said that im really sorry but i was just joking
    her: i dont care if it was a joke it was really hurtful and you shouldnt have said that, i just dont care anymore i try to be nice to everyone but i just dont care idk.
    me: you know the only reason why i said that was because i think your the prettiest girl in our school (ok by this i meant prettiest girl in the group that we are around, our cultural community in our large school) and i thought it was pretty ironic so i only meant it as a joke.
    her: ok first of all thats a lie (she thinks im comparing her to every single other girl in the school) and still thats something you shouldnt say and i dont care if it was a joke, i dont care anymore.
    me: i really dont know what to tell you if you dont believe me...
    her: im just really trying to be nice to everyone blah blah idc anymore anyways well thanks for apologizing, bye.


    also i forgot to put in the convo there was a part where she kept saying she doesnt care anymore and i said, "i have a feeling your going to treat me like (someone's name).

    this person was being super rude to her once saying stuff about her cause of her ex boyfriend.
    she doesnt talk to him anymore at all.

    so then i tell my friend everything that i told her and that i think she wont forgive me completely and that she took my prettiest girl in the school thing out of context and whatnot.

    he texted her but she was at practice or something so she texted me at like 2:30 in the morning saying "hey just wanna tell you that i really do forgive you and i shouldve been nicer but ive been stressed and a lot has been going on but i dont want you to think i hate you or anything" so like 5 hours later i reply "thanks, i understand" she replied "okay".

    i havnt seen her since the incident or talked to her since that last text.


    this really blows, i was right about to ask her to go to dinner with me after my test next week and then go hang out at a park or some thing....

    anything i could do at this point? stay out of her way until she replies?

  8. #8
    blueshell99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I mess this up?

    Also my friend was asking her yesterday of everything was cool. She said yea but she was disappointed

  9. #9
    hyp
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    Default Re: Did I mess this up?

    what she says and what she does are two completely different things, i'm certain you've got a alot of recovering to do.
    -I mean like she wants to be a VET (they love animals to the max) and then you say you hate them, that's asking for trouble right there
    -Saying that she's Ugly directly? Girls are insecure as it is they don't need to be shutdown extensively, maybe mentioning that something is "prettier" or that they've got competition in being more good looking (i'm not 100% sure on that as i wouldn't neg a girl on her facial appearance ----advice appreciated)

    my advice would be to wait 2 weeks, don't text her or call her cause this is already border-lining neediness if not already , and then set something up to show her that you care about her and don't give her a choice to decline whatever it is ^^


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