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Thread: yearlong oneitis keeps coming back

  1. #1
    stokepua is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default yearlong oneitis keeps coming back

    - met girl a year ago but was afc.
    - managed one date
    - made mistakes but spiked interest once or twice
    - she started dating someone for a few months, so i stopped contacting her

    - when i pull back contact, she comes around again after a month or two
    - see her infrequently in public, avoid giving too much interest
    - she's been single again the past couple months
    - she got awkward around me a couple times when we would bump into each other
    - i told her i understand she's not into me, let's just be friends. she confirmed and agreed.

    - left her alone again for about a month and she came back, mostly social media
    - i continued to leave it alone

    - saw her at mutual friend event this week.
    - we fell into multiple conversations
    - at one point we had a very deep conversation, she was becoming physically closer to me as she opened up about stuff in her life
    - tested some slight kino on her, she was fine
    - at end of night, she came over to say goodbye and i offered to walk her to her car. she said she was going to ask me, actually.
    - walked to car, she hugged me.

    - following day, she messages me and invites to lunch .
    - it was casual and talkative.
    - she told me about recent ex and asked me if i was dating anyone
    - i was very bad at doing kino… sitting kino is not easy for me for some reason
    - we left and she hugged me

    - followed up next day with a joke text to her
    - went back and forth a little and i asked if she wanted to go for a walk
    - she said she had a couple things going on and wouldn't be back until too late but maybe another time.

    At this point, I'm at a loss as to what to do. I was frankly very surprised by her behavior and then her invite. The lunch invite made sense in context, but it was the first she had ever invited me to do something with her. My inclination is to call her next and have a comfort call, but perhaps that will just put me back in the friend zone with her.

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: yearlong oneitis keeps coming back

    I like your attention to detail, however paying too much attention to minute details can be detrimental to your game.

    You have to increase attraction. There seems to be a lot of comfort building here and, without using attraction to get her to look at you in a different light, will put you in the friend zone for sure.

    Do not worry about her comfort level so much. Although it is important for a woman to be comfortable, if you are too focused on it then other aspects of your game will suffer. Like the lack of kino that you mentioned which could easily build sexual tension between you two.

    So because I think you should focus on attraction rather than comfort, the next time you meet up should not be a place where you can really talk. Find a fun activity and bring her along. Like an amusment park, dave n busters, zoo, or bowling alley (yea they still work lol). This way you have a distraction and don't have to focus on "getting to know her" and build attraction.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
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    topgunningit is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: yearlong oneitis keeps coming back

    why you said lets be friends? She was flirting with you and you did kino yet it ended in a hug, twice? If you get the chance again please approach her more aggressively. Approach her as if she is the sexiest woman you have ever seen and this is the last time you will have a chance at sex before you die.

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