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Thread: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

  1. #21
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    man when i watch romance movies i think the same thing, "this guy is so afc how the hell does he land a hot babe like her? she shouldn't be attracted to him, he has like no game at all" i assume she probably thinks something similar,she wants romance, but she doesn't want some afc to "buy her attraction" like in the movies, she wants a man to captivate her and draw her in. not to just majically fall for an afc like in the movies

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    Dude!!! You da man!!! Omg .. had a major shift in thinking after reading this. I can't believe it's taken this long to realize something so basic and simple. A hunter doesn't go out and just wait for an animal to magically walk into a bullet .. he has to go seek one out, follow, study, hunt and then go for the kill. But for the animal it, "just happens." It never sees it coming. All these years, all the time girls want to be swept off their feet, how when love is real it, "just happens" .. that's them being hunted, so to speak. And I've always been under the impression that it's like that universally, that for the guy and the girl, it just magically happens. But that's NOT the case at all .. the guy has to MAKE it happen through a concerted effort. But at the same time, not reveal the process or anything about it so that to her, it DOES, "just happen." I can't believe I didn't see this until now but your post really brought it out! I see it now and, everything has changed. This is awesome! Lol!

    The romance novel or love story/movie only shows the outward side to get people watching to feel the feelings .. when in fact, there is so much more going on that cannot be captured. So for me to act/talk like someone in one of these stories would appear semi-shallow .. she might get the feelings but, there's more to it. And she is smart enough to know that this isn't how it really is .. there's more to it than just saying some sweet things or giving flowers or whatever. But she doesn't know exactly WHAT it is that generates that spark and chemistry and THAT is what she's looking for .. maybe (and probably) looking for it to happen with us .. I've just brought her to that place but then, didn't know how to escalate, continue the momentum and, it fell flat .. leaving her feeling like, "That's it?" And that's how we become friends. But it's not too late to pick up and stir up those feelings in her now.

    Got anything else? Like, how to actually captivate her and draw her in? I seem to be able to draw her to a certain point and then .. it's like we're hovering there .. both waiting for the next level. Guess I never really knew what comes next .. trying to be the nice guy too much so never pushed it.

    Edit: just realized something else and maybe you can confirm or deny my thought here .. God I feel so stupid .. like a kid back in school but, it's never too late to learn! Anyway, I was thinking how she likes love stories because they stir her emotions of love, etc. Well, she also likes horror movies .. why? Obviously because it stirs her feelings of fear and excitement, etc. It's all about stirring up her emotions .. getting her to feel things deeply .. many kinds of things. So thinking that's my focus .. hitting her emotions and pushing her buttons so that she will basically come to see me as her, "emotional fix supplier." Lol! But really, am I starting to get it? And so, to work my way out of the friendzone here .. not trying to be obvious, how would you suggest I go about stirring up her emotions? Stories? Metaphor? Sorry for all the questions! Lol!

  3. #23
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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    i would use stories with lots of double entendres and subtle inuendo's to get her sexualy aroused, kino escalate and you should be in, but once your in the friendzone its difficult to get out, but she seems like she may or may not have friendzoned you, so thus you need to tell stories with lots of nlp in them, get her to laugh and be sure to dhv and use subtle negs every chance you get

  4. #24
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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    Getting her to laugh isn't an issue. And I've been using NEGS a lot without even realizing it and our rapport is solid. Just, missing that extra something. And yeah, while on the one hand it feels like we're, "friends" on the other, it's almost like there's a part of her that's waiting for more, you know? She's never NEVER said, "Let's just be friends." She HAS said, "I don't love you as a man .. I love you as a friend." Might be a subtle difference but a difference nonetheless .. that to me leaves the door open to the possibility .. she doesn't seem to have slammed it shut. So yeah, I'll go with this and we'll see. And as always, worst case is, I get an education. ) Thanks again!

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    if you want a sure way of finding out if she has friendzoned you, isolate and go for the k-close
    use the mystery k-close, it goes like this
    pua- would you like to kiss me?
    she will only have one of three responses
    1. no- you say "i never said you could, i just thought you might want to"
    2.maybe/unsure- you say "then lets find out" and try to kiss her, if she pulls away, she's not interested
    3.yes- you just kiss her as soon as she says yes
    the answer is almost always maybe and you will get the kiss 90% of the time as long as you have created the nessissary attraction before hand (i assume you have created more than enough attraction to get a k-close) good luck!

  6. #26
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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    Hey .. actually, I haven't yet generated that level of attraction. It really sometimes feels like, she could be right there but, I've dropped the ball, so to speak .. didn't do the things to keep it going. But, I'm learning.

    Anyway, gonna continue to develop this .. generate some spark here with the stories and things but something just came to mind that I hadn't really considered. I was just thinking, these types of stories give her feelings, intense emotions that bring tears of happiness .. feelings of wonder and amazement. And like most women, she has a deep desire to feel the whole gamut of emotions. But she doesn't want it in her life .. why? Well, she did have a rough time in the early years .. abuse in the home, etc. It might just be that she had to shut off her emotions in order to avoid getting hurt more. The romance stories are able to touch those emotions and release them in a safe environment so she can experience the feelings without the circumstances in her own life - living vicariously through someone else. But if it WERE to be real .. just thinking, she may subconsciously connect deep emotion with pain .. doesn't matter if the emotions are good or bad .. The most intense emotional moments in her personal life have resulted in pain and hurt and sadness, etc. I mean, it was weird how when I asked her why she likes to read and watch but wouldn't want it for real, she said, "If it happened to me it would be sad." She admitted that she couldn't really explain it but maybe this is why.

    So she can't deny her desire to want to feel everything as any woman does .. but she's afraid of it in her life .. if that's the case, when I try to stir up those emotions, I need to be careful to do it in an abstract way so that she feels them but not in a threatening way .. not like I'm saying, "When YOU feel this way .." but rather put it in a story, maybe about how I feel and let her do the relating.

    Am I making sense? It does to me but, I'm biased. Lol!

  7. #27
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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    yes, this makes perfect sense, she has been hurt before and she associates the feelings of attachment with pain, she's not the only one who feels that way, i know many girls who are just like her, but maybe not as bad. just remember to tread lightly and don't cause her any uneccissary pain


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