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Thread: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

  1. #1
    Skyper is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    Okay so, got a question here (obviously). I recently picked up the ebook, "The Sexual Key" and tried one of the, "techniques" just the other day. It seemed to work well. If anyone's not familiar with it, it's basically about talking about something in a way that brings her on an emotional journey, feeling deeper and deeper emotions by using great detail when describing the experience. It's suggested in the book that women want to feel deep emotions but most guys don't know how to bring them out and this appeared to work somewhat. She's also told me that she likes romance novels because they bring her to that place of deep emotions, that's she's a very emotional person that way. However, I've always known she's not a romantic .. she hates flowers and that kind of stuff. So I asked her, how can she love romance novels and movies and yet, not be romantic at heart. She told me that she likes reading about things like that but would not want it to happen in her life .. that it would be sad. I really have no idea what she meant by this and kinda let it be. After all this whole thing is meant to work on a subconscious level anyway .. for her to subconsciously connect feeling those deep emotions with me, as I'm the one who through such stories and talk will be the one bringing them out.

    Still, I wonder what she meant by this and wonder if anyone else has any advice about it. A part of me feels that maybe she's afraid that if it did happen in her life, she'd feel it's too good to be true and not trust it. She loves those books but said, "That's not how love really is." I don't think she even believes in true love anymore. But then, maybe this isn't true at all .. maybe she would really LOVE for these things to happen in her life but doesn't expect it ever will so she's closed her heart to them.

    Right now, I'm leaning toward just continuing to talk this way with her and see what happens .. see if the repeated talk that causes her to reflect and draw out these good feelings will in fact connect with me as the source of them and draw her. We already have something really great together .. I'm just trying to help bring it to the next level.

    Anyway .. thoughts? Thanks!

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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    sounds like you are learning about applied nlp its basicaly behind all the stuff we do (dhv,false disqualifie, ect,ect) describing feelings is what books and movies do all the time to create amazing emotional journeys, that said, romantic novals often give wemon the wrong ideas about romance,(just like how the porn industrie gives men the wrong ideas about it) don't wory too much about it, she can say something like this about romance and actualy feel quite different about it, about the hole roses/romantic dinner, YOU CAN'T BUY ATTRACTION! don't fall into the trap of trying to win her over with gifts, instead win her over with your ability to create attraction/ability to take her on these emotional journeys, it realy doesn't matter how "over-rated" she thinks dating is, she still wants to have it happen to her

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    Thanks Meteora .. yeah, I was thinking that too .. that no matter what she SAYS she still craves these emotional journeys. Thinking mask them as just stories .. not like it's something I'm considering actually doing .. just feel good stuff so that even though she may not have the conscious desire for them in real life, she will still experience the emotion through reading/listening to me describe them. I would never try to buy attraction .. that's just silly. Just found it confusing how she said it would be sad if one of these "romance novel" type stories actually happened to her.

    And yeah .. I do want to learn better how to create that attraction or maybe more to the point, amplify it. I think there's a block here .. she told me once, "I know you're a good man and you make me happy .. just trying to convince my heart too." But we all know you can't convince your heart ..can't tell your heart what to feel. But maybe I can and that's what I need help with. I've always been too much the friend with women, with this subconscious idea that, just be a close enough friend and the relationship will spring from that. I never knew how to fill a woman's deepest desires for those deep emotional experiences .. just now starting to learn. I think that's also why we seem to get along so very well .. we have a great time together, yet she's said repeatedly, "I don't love you as a man .. I love you as a friend." Yet, I can feel there is something more .. almost like there's a part of her that wishes it was more but, I'm just not hitting the emotional high notes for her. Well, until now, I never considered how to do that but I want to know and will take all the help I can get. :P

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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    "I don't love you as a man .. I love you as a friend."
    this is the kinda stuff a girl will say to a guy she is friendzoning i kinda feel bad for you, but i think it might be too late for you to attract her sexualy, keep her as a good friend and use her as a pivot (a girl who you take out sarging with you to demonstrate pre-selection) i know how it feels to realy fall for a girl who has you in the friendzone, the only easey way out is to tell her that you either want her as a lover or you don't want her at all, don't settle with "just friends" instead either she has to date you or never see you again. its the only real way out of the friendzone wich has a 50/50 chance of you deciding to never see her again, if she says she can't be in love with you, then you leave, freeze her out, and meet other wemon. sorry to have to tell you this, but its just the nature of the beast

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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    Mmmm, I disagree .. there's much more, I just threw that out there. Because on one side she'll say that but then she'll go 180 degrees the other way. I've talked to some of her friends and they all say the same thing, "(name) doesn't know what she wants." After her last bf, she decided that love isn't real and hasn't seen anyone for like 2-3 years. So it might not be me specifically but her attitude in general. Either way, I haven't read enough to give that, "ultimatum" so to speak. Right now, at this moment, if I were to put it to her like that, she'd probably say she can't be in love with me. But I'm in no rush, which is why I'll do the nlp or whatever and see how it goes. I'm not desperate for a woman .. don't need one to be happy so it's not like I'm missing out on something else by taking some time with her.

    Thanks for the 2 cents .. but really I'm only interested in how to generate/ramp up the attraction. I do know that there's at least a glimmer. For example, for a while, we were talking everyday, even if just a quick, "hi" on skype or something. Then, during a period where we had gotten kinda close .. I had things to do that pulled me away for like 2-3 days and we didn't talk at all. She freaked, sorta. When we did talk, she said she was so worried that something bad had happened to me .. that we always talk, even just, "hey, hru?" And it had been like 3 days. She was so happy to see me. And she told me that day that she never knew but, she has some real feelings. But I never really, "capitalized" on that, I guess cause it kinda waned. So I know there's something there .. even if just a flicker of flame .. and I want to give it a good solid chance before throwing in the towel. When I see something I want, I don't give up so easily.

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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    if thats the case, just keep using your nlp, a good false disqualifier (i realy like you and all, but your too _____ for me) could work to put her back on the offense (pursuing you) also the best way to create attraction in her is to get her luaghing, ramp up the humor, and you'll ramp up the attraction

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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    Yeah .. I do that already .. I get this girl laughing so hard sometimes, she cries! It's great! But it's been too, "friendly" I think which is why I think I need to start working in the NLP .. gradually so it's not obvious .. make it seems natural and like, "it's just happening."

    Any good stuff on NLP that you can recommend? That ebook I mentioned is excellent. Just trying to learn as I've been "friend-zoned" too many times and don't want to be in there anymore. Lol!

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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    there isn't any good advice on nlp on this site as far as i know, but i have studied nlp for a while now and i realize that most of the techniques on this site are forms of nlp, try checking out threads from " autismus " he has good threads about dhv'ing and the art of convorsation

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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    1. I'd call the whole situation one giant sh*t test. One of the best things you can do is stop listening to what a girl is saying and only read her actions. What women say is emotionally charged, making it not all too reliable. She's bluffing or trying to convince herself and failing.

    2. NLP is like male circumcision: It has just as much going against it as for it. If you want to get into that the only thing I would even consider recommending is The October Man Sequence, though that's hardly worth it too. It's a pain in the ass to run and there are many easier ways, not to mention you have to be smart--really smart to understand it. It took me months.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  10. #10
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    Default Re: Girl loves romance novels but claims she's not romantic .. what gives?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    One of the best things you can do is stop listening to what a girl is saying and only read her actions. ... She's bluffing or trying to convince herself and failing.
    Exactly my thoughts! I mean, when I talk to her sometimes, her expressions and body language say things contrary to her mouth. Not being rude, it's true! Lol! It's like, she reacts positively and with smiles (the eye smiles too, the honest ones, not the smirk with the mouth) but then says something opposite like, it's nice but I don't really like that stuff .. or something. So yeah, I'm kinda hearing what she says but LISTENING to what she does more.

    This is what I suspect but was interested to see if others saw it too, even though I only gave this one instance as an example.


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