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Thread: Sarging a target in a group

  1. #1
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    Exclamation Sarging a target in a group

    Hey everyone! I'm new to the forum and this is my first time posting because I am looking for help on sarging a group.

    I just wrote a whole page about the situation that brought me here, but it ended up getting deleted So, I'll quickly fill you on what happened.

    I was at a friends drinking when he managed to get about 5-6 girls from his college over to his house. When the girls got there I picked out a target and tried to start by making some neutral friendly comments to build comfort with the group as a whole, because I did not go to the same school as everyone else and didn't know any of them.

    This became difficult because hardly any of the other guys (who knew the girls) were trying to talk to them, besides small interactions here and there. The more time that passed, the more resistance I received. It was never anything negative or offensive, I just never got the POSITIVE feedback I was looking for

    I talked to a couple of the girls (none of which were my target) and had some fun conversations going 1 on 1, but as soon as they got back into their group... It was like it had never happened.

    The girls stayed in a group on a couch for pretty much the whole hour they were there. They left with me not building any foundation with any of them or even talking to my target.

    I know the situation wasn't set up for a hook up, but my goal was maybe get a number close or at least leave an impression so that the next time I met up with them I would have a foundation to build off of.

    So, my question to the experts is how can I improve my group approach and opening in a situation like this or to build some friendly rapport to leave a favorable impression for a future meeting?

    Thanks guys, I look forward to your replies and comments and am glad to have joined!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Sarging a target in a group

    Where are you at in Iowa, Man? This is a complicated dynamic that I could explain and show you much better in person.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  3. #3
    CallofTheWildman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sarging a target in a group

    I was out in Des Moines but now Fayetteville. What I'm really wondering is during a situation like this should I approach trying to make the group feel comfortable and friendly or maybe an indirect approach but honestly trying to get the target?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Sarging a target in a group

    I think you're situation was a little different than being out in public or being a full on house party. I think you have to accept that the girls locked together and may have been in a different zone than they would normally. Being from different schools means there's more of a tribal situation going on.

    In hindsight you could have got together with some other guys and worked out an activity to split them up more to reduce that tribalism. This could be a drinking game or going outside and cooking a BBQ. Anything that will get them into smaller more manageable groups where they are more likely to open up. I think also it was hard in your situation to gain rapport with the group and then focus on a target. Maybe you didn't have to because they were already in someones house and not at a bar. Next time you may not need to have full rapport with the group - just focus on one.

    Generally speaking if I approach a group at a bar or at a party I will go directly next to my target but engage the group ignoring the target slightly. After the group rapport is acheived and the conversation settles down and disperses I then turn to my target who is right next to me. In some situations where its difficult to gain group rapport or to focus on a target I will go direct and straight up ask the target girl for her number 'Hi Im _____ I have to get going in a minute to catch up with some other friends but Id like to get to know you better, what's your number? Do you want to grab a quick coffee sometime?' Several times I have forced my own time constraint to leave and go somewhere else but I get the number before leaving. If none of the girls are opening up, its no fun anyway so you could be doing something else rather than wasting time. But always be closing Sometimes the odds are against you in developing rapport but you may aswell ask your target for her number. Usually girls will give it to you.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Sarging a target in a group

    Thanks a lot for the good info whitedragon!

    I could/should have got some of the guys together to cut them to more manageable sizes or at least get them more involved but I felt like superman and had to do it all by myself

    We (the guys) were basically just playing some beer games conversing amongst the bros while the girls were sitting in the same room conversing amongst themselves, twirling their hair, and texting (probably each other).

    I absolutely HATE it when a girl sits on her phone all night and hardly talks.does anyone have any good negs or ways to tease a girl being on her phone too much??

  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Sarging a target in a group

    Quote Originally Posted by CallofTheWildman View Post
    I absolutely HATE it when a girl sits on her phone all night and hardly talks.does anyone have any good negs or ways to tease a girl being on her phone too much??
    I either completely ignore them or use it as an advantage. I have tried a few negs with girls sunk into their phones but they don't often work because the girl doesn't want to be disturbed. If they are a girl who likes to text, perhaps they will text me a lot later too if we can swap details. They are in their own world sitting on the couch...come up with your phone and take a picture of them. If she is not annoyed then say 'It's a good pic, you want me to send it to you?'. Bingo you have her number or ID. Just don't say anything silly. If you neg keep it playful 'Are you messaging each other? Let me guess, shopping/fashion talk? Gossip about us guys? ' or 'What will you guys do if the network drops out? haha'. But essentially I would use it to your advantage rather than negging because you want to indicate you are cool with being around girls who use their phones a lot. Its not a constraint to you.

    Or play to their rules for a bit. 'Have you got any good new games on your phone?' Sit down next to her. Look at her phone. 'You use texting or an IM app? Which one? Oh I have that, add me (or oh I dont have that one - let me download it and we can add each other)'. Then you dont even need to talk directly...you can go off and hang with your bro's again and then secretly message her on the couch.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Sarging a target in a group

    Love the ideas! I'm definitely slapping myself on the forehead right now wondering why I didn't use any sort of these techniques! It would have been GOLD because my game is a little rusty and I knew I wanted to approach that way but just froze up when I was at the plate. I negged a bit and had a slight response but tried again and it just backfired. IF ONLY we could go back and redo everything :/ lol

    Im excited to try these out considering almost EVERY girl has her phone to whip out if she feels a little out of place or to seem busy and important!

  8. #8
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Sarging a target in a group

    Quote Originally Posted by CallofTheWildman View Post
    if she feels a little out of place or to seem busy and important!
    Well thats exactly it, some girls are insecure and will sink into their phones to appear 'hard to get' whilst others may be obsessive with fiddling with their phones. Either way it's all opportunity.


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