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  1. #1
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Curious as to this dynamic (just friends)

    I was really debating on posting this, but I've let my mind blow it out of preportion and now its bugging me a bit, and I want a good frame when I go into the situation.

    I pulled this girl's number at a party. We went on one date, had a good time, but I was pretty nervous through it. We have already specified neither of us wants a relationship, though I actually see her as potential for this. We have been texting back and fourth for a few months, as we are both pretty busy people. Sometimes our conversations are fluff, othertimes they are light, fun and flirty. She always responds to my flirting. My main problem has been her history of flakes with me. She will even ask me out, then either cancel the day before/of and flat out told me one day she would rather go out with her other friend comming up from another town (we live in different towns as well).

    After that flake I didn't answer her texts or anything for a few months. Well this month she started texting me back about an annual halloween party that our group of friends throws every year. Its the best and biggest party in our town. I play a role in planning so I gave her the info and we chatted about it and what not. During this conversation I told her she owes me dinner. She said that she has been wanting to take me out for a while, and we committed to saturday. The day before I told her my weekend was full, and I couldn't make it (which was actually true...I was volunteering at a benefit dinner for a friend of mine recently diagonsed with cancer).

    After this she started contacting me. I answered, sometimes fun, sometimes half assed, just whatever I felt like. Usually though I get bored of one of her responses, or the conversation and end it. Now I had some business to handle in her town. She texted me and I told her I was heading up there soon and we should hang out. She said she fell back asleep until about 9 (which is right about the time she has to go to work) and told me she is so sorry. I didn't respond for a few minutes, as I was handling that business at this point, and she texted me again telling me she dreamed about me (going to tease her on it later because that's a cheesy ass line imo). I told her afterwards that I was about to leave town and she was about to go to work, so its whatever. I think she could tell it didn't really bother me, but that I knew she was full of sh1t.

    This week she contacts me, with that classic text we all love to hear "Hey you". After a bit of fluff she asks if her roommate (female) and her may crash at my place the night of the party so they can get extra trashed. I told them yea, I would make sure they made it there safe, and for her to bring blankets and pillows and what not because I don't have extras. Also an overnight bag so they could shower, and if she plays her cards right I might just make them breakfast.

    Now over the texts she has hinted a few times that she likes me and I'm not friendzoned, but a move like that suggests one of two things to me...

    a) I am friend zoned and she sees me as safe and comfortable and feels safe crashing at my place. I feel asking to crash like that, knowing what might happen would make her feel a bit slutty as she is planning on sex, and seems out of character for her.

    b)She is just as sick of only texting and talking sometimes and is fed up with all the games and she is doing this so I'll make my move and get us out of this rut.

    Just to let it be said, I will surely escalate with her, and unless she says no to me, I'm going to take her. It is a done deal.

    Whats killing me is my frame. It almost seems like she reinitiated with me so she has a place to crash (she doesn't need me to get into the party). Anyway I'm not going to plan anything, or take a specific approach as I think it works better when I naturally just let my mojo flow.

    Now down to the real question...What is the purpose of her friend in this dynamic? Keep her from sleeping with me? Keep me from making my move/isolating? In case things go bad help her bail. This post is long, perhaps I should shorten it.

  2. #2
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Curious as to this dynamic

    Honest 2 cents sounds to me like you're friendzoned. She texts you but flakes out on dates, if she wanted to see you she would find a way. Sounds like she's using you for validation without really being into you. She hit you up randomly after all this time? Nah dude she just wants a place to stay and knows you'll agree to it. The female friend has nothing to do with you, she also wants to get trashed and you provide the lodging.

    Honestly dude you seem way hung up on this girl, not a a jab at you, I'm the king of that but that's the way I see it. Is she really that cool or are you just wanting for options? Go talk to other girls dude this ones a flake and/or tease! If for whatever reason you really want her, best thing you can do is not give her attention that night. Talk and flirt with other girls, fist bump your bros, enjoy yourself. This will drive her crazy cus she thought she had you figured but really she didn't. Flirt with her if she initiates but don't be the one chasing. This strategy works out well cus you will have a sick Halloween regardless. Don't stress her too much, if she wants you she'll come but if not at least you'll have a sick night, possibly fark another broad, and you won't be hung up on her.

  3. #3
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Curious as to this dynamic

    Yea I'm kind of thinking the same thing. I mean, yea I like her but I've still been seeing my other women, and don't continue to stop, and at times I do feel like her validation. I like her because whenever we are together we laugh, have fun and we are generally into the same kinds of things. To be honest, I mean if I felt the vibe from her, I was planning on making her my date, but all in all I'm trying to party and have fun. I will have a shit ton of friends there and already have mad social proof within the group, but for me this was kinda her last chance to get me. After she got me to agree to lodging her and her friend, the conversation kinda died off, and it seemed pretty obvious that was all she wanted. I'm just going to go into the night like I would if she wasn't there and have fun, try to ignore her, and I'll take the advice, no flirting unless she initiates.

    And its true, I havn't really gotten much out of her (well, I could tell she wanted me to kiss her on our date, but I didn't). It's cool though, I may post up how it went.

  4. #4
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Curious as to this dynamic

    If you want her dude that's cool I understand. My advice is basically worst case - she might be into you but odds aren't great. At least this way you will be spared the letdown. Sounds like you know what's up though dude so do your thing and have a sick Halloween. If you feel so inclined please do post I'd be curious to see. I'm getting the vibe that you are going to have an awesome time, but not for the reasons you expected. Work that mojo man 8)

  5. #5
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Curious as to this dynamic

    Well, except the last flake I'm not sure if she lied to me, of course they all make sense, and the one flake that irritated me, she was at least honest about. I say fuck it, I'm making my move anyway and finding out one way or another. If she wants to be friends, well, I don't need a selfish woman that doesn't respect me enough to not use me in my life at all. I'll have a house full of friends that respect and love me, and that's enough for me. If it turns out she was using me, I'm afraid it won't end so well for her, because of my job and status in town I have women trying to use me all the time, and when they find out they can't they just move on. Of course the other women respect me for that as well. Now I am genuinely nice, and helping people makes me feel good, but at the same time I have learned when someone is using me. I'll post up how the night went, but this week I have much more work to do, so I'm also open to other opinions. Of course I wrote that from the frame that she is using me, but my instincts seem to be right 99% of the time, so I'm going to follow them.

  6. #6
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Curious as to this dynamic

    Ya dude don't stress it if you wanna go for it then pull that trigger. Best of luck

  7. #7
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Curious as to this dynamic

    So she DID show up. She texted me on her way, of course I didn't realize until she was almost there because I was busy having a blast. When she showed up I all but ignored her. She initiated kino, and I lightly complied and ended up going off having a blast with a way hotter girl. At the end of the night she tracked me down and I motioned for the kiss, but right before I kissed her I broke contact and walked away. She texted me before she got out of the drive...

    I think I may have thrown her off a bit, but I have decided I'm done with this girl unless she shows me some real effort. Bottom line, my game worked, now I'm not sure if she is worth it

    Thanks for the insight.

  8. #8
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Curious as to this dynamic (just friends)

    Hey good stuff dude. Glad you had a good time.


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