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  1. #1
    italyman17 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default HELP!! Does girl I met from Florida like me?

    April I need some advice, about a month ago I met a girl from Florida who was up here (Chicago) for a work convention. We met and hit it off immediately. Hung out the entire time and exchanged numbers and have literally spoken to each other every single day now since the day we met. 3-4 hours a day some nights before we go to sleep. The catch is she had a boyfriend that she dated off and on for a couple years that passed away literally 2 weeks before we met. It was a unique situation and we talked about it and I understood how hard it was for her to go through something like that. I was really a support tool for her to help her get through this tough time. We instantly became friends. After a couple weeks of talking and learning more about each other, and talking about our childhood, she invites me down to spend the weekend with her. Now, let me point out that I am very attracted to this girl. And she, as well as her friends have referred to me as her "Angel" that was meant to meet her to help her get through this tragedy that she went through. So I end up going down and she tells me that I can sleep next to her in her bed as long as I don't try anything funny (joking around) since her place is fairly small. So the first night we come home from dinner and we get into bed and she asks me out of nowhere if I can have something physical with her tonight with no strings attached and only tonight if I can handle it. I try asking more detail what she means by this. (If we can do it anymore the rest of the week, blah blah blah) and she said that she doesn't want a relationship, she just wanted something physical. So I agree and end up hooking up. Which was awesome by the way. The rest of the weekend was an absolute blast. I feel so comfortable with this girl, it scares me. She is smart, funny, witty, drop dead gorgeous and our personalities match up perfectly. She is very friendly to everyone she meets and I donít think she sleeps around. In, fact we talk so much I know she has not been with anyone since the night we met back home. Also, while I was down there, I got introduced to her family at her nephews Bday party and they got along with me very well. Now, The last night at her place before I flew back she proceeds to tell me how "Screwed up she is, and that she doesn't want me to develop feelings for her, and turn all weird on her, because it has happened in the past and the guy doesn't even talk to her anymore. I also have gotten out of a bad relationship and I responded by telling her that I was not looking into anything serious as well and all I did know is that I love having her apart of my life. I enjoy talking with her every day and I love the way I feel when I am with her. She agreed and started to really stress that she is selfish and doesn't want to be in a relationship ever and she is damaged and what not. Now I am back home and we still talk morning, noon, and night over txt and phone calls. She started making comments to me about guys asking her out and I don't know what to say to her. I just kinda laugh about it or make a comment and move on. I don't know what to do. Should I tell her it bothers me? If I say something to her I am afraid I will freak her out and it will change our relationship which I cannot handle. I could not imagine not having this girl in my life anymore. Or I don't know if I should just suffer in silence and not mention how it bothers me when she talks to me about other guys or dating guys in the future. This is uncharted waters for me and I have no idea what to do. Any advice would help.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    KnightTurner's Avatar
    KnightTurner is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP!! Does she like me?

    How you handle this really depends on what you want from it.

    If you see this girl as a potential LTR then you should tell her that it makes you uncomfortable hearing about the other guys. However, be prepared to explain why. And don't try and bs your way out of it. Everyone knows that when that sort of thing makes you feel uncomfortable it's because of feelings.

    If she's more of a FWB, then I'd keep quiet. Keep doing what you're doing, just brushing it off and changing the subject. The only catch is that eventually you will need to be honest with her about your feelings.

    The fact that she keeps mentioning the other guys could very well be to try and get a reaction from you. If she's doing it because she has feelings for you and you keep brushing it off like it doesn't bother you, it will upset her and ulitmately can ruin your relationship (friends or otherwise).

    Now, because her long term boyfriend recently died, that only makes the situation trickier. What happened on the last night you were with her is something that she's going through daily. She's most likely still hurting from the loss and is afraid of being hurt again. A relationship ending due to a death is much different than one ending because someone simply ended it. There is never any closure and you are always left wondering why or what if. One thing you need to be sure not to do is ever bring up her boyfriend. If she brings him up, find something to transition to a new topic with. If you begin a committed relationship with her, then if she wants to open up about him that's different and more acceptable. However, for now, try and avoid that topic.

    Bottom line, I think it would be best for you to stay FWB and just kind of brush of the comments about other guys for now. Because of logistical reasons, it would be difficult to maintain a relationship. Obviously there are long distance relationships that work but they don't begin as long distance.
    DOOOOONNNN'TTTT CAAAARREEEEE

    You are the prize. She needs to earn it.

  3. #3
    italyman17 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: HELP!! Does she like me?

    KnightTurner. Great advice. Thank you very much. Quick question though. What does LTR and FWB mean?

    And yes I actually thought of that too. Her bringing them up on purpose to either test me to see if I will get weird about it or if she wants to get a reaction out of me. I will keep doing what I am doing, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up.

    Thanks again. I will keep you posted.

  4. #4
    KnightTurner's Avatar
    KnightTurner is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP!! Does she like me?

    LTR - Long Term Relationship
    FWB - Friends With Benefits

    If you come across any other terms/acronyms that you don't know on the forum, there's a section dedicated to common terms here.

    Like I said, eventually you will have to come clean with your emotions and tell her if you plan to continue talking to her. Her continually making you uncomfortable is unfair to you and you will need to eventually call her out on it. In the mean time, don't let it bother you. You are in control of your emotions, not her, and you can control how you feel when she brings stuff like that up.
    DOOOOONNNN'TTTT CAAAARREEEEE

    You are the prize. She needs to earn it.


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