I feel like I'm not ready to have a girlfriend. I just wouldn't know what to do with her.
I'm kind of a loner and many things I enjoy are activities best done alone. Like cycling, martial arts, playing the piano, stuff on the computer. But now I feel like I have no place for a girl in my life. I mean, what would I do with her? Outside of sex, that is. Even going on a date seems so unnatural to me, since it usually involves going to places I wouldn't normally go.
I would always think of where to take a girl on a date. But often I can't think of anything. I seem to hate so many things it's really hard to think of a date that I would actually enjoy. I have stopped asking girls out because of this.
I see other couples sticking together all the time. Going here and there together, sitting together at home, hanging out together. I could never do this, it feels so unnatural to me. I tried it with girlfriends in the past. I was forcing myself and felt very uncomfortable doing it. Needless to say, the relationships were short-lived.
For me, being a loner is not a bad thing. I can be very charming if I feel like it, but I don't stick around people much. After much experimentation this seems to be the only way I can really be myself. I get signs from pretty girls every now and then, but I have stopped acting on it. Cos what's the point?
But still, in the back of my mind, I feel like I'm missing out on something.
And it DRIVES ME CRAZY!
I just realized that these thoughts are only statements. I actually have no question to ask you guys. As always, I like to hear your thoughts, but I'm probably going to take some time off.