So Ive been in a freeze out with ex gf after telling that it was best that I move on.. There is a lot of other things that happened after we broke up but this email is the last thing that has happened. Prior to this email she has attempted to reach out to me over the past 6 weeks a bunch of times. What do you all think? I do want her back, but needed to space to work on myself which is why I initiated the freeze out. Is it safe to open contact with her? Is there a chance based on what you see in the email?
So obviously you saw that I sent you a message. This is my last resort. Read it if you want, don't if you must. I don't know what else to do.
I feel that I deserve more than what you are doing right now. No, we're never going to get back together but that doens't mean we cannot be adults. Why did you reign me back in, tell me that you were making this move for us, tell me everything I've been wanting to hear and then say goodbye? I have so many unanswered questions and once again, I'd never do this to you. You told me to think and I did... I thought and thought things could be different. Why can't you explain to me why you said that and then changed your mind two days later? We were together for 5 years, lived together for almost all of them, moved across the country together and you don't have the decency to answer me. When we were still in LA i cried to you over and over again, telling you that all I wanted was for you to love me the way I loved you, to give me the love that every person deserves when they are in a relationship, that all I wanted was to be with you forever but that I was exhausted of putting myself out there and hoping things would change. I always hoped they would change, time and time again. I guess hashing all of that doesn't matter at this point because what's done is done and although I don't miss you like my ex, I miss you as a friend. Or I miss what I thought I knew of you as a friend. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's always about Pat, and that's why I left, why I walked away after 5 years of putting my heart and soul into something.
I guess at this point I have to turn my back on you as you've done to me. I just don't know why you did. What did I do to deserve that? To be cut out of your life completely, forever, because you've made it impossible for us to ever be in eachothers lives again. I hope you understand that. I hope you truly know what you are doing and the grave that you have dug.
I wish things had been different Pat and I wish that I could run into you and have a smile on my face and give you a hug. It sucks, because when the day comes and I do see you, I'll look at you like the stranger you've always been. The stranger that I'm just realizing I spent the past five years with. The man I thought I knew, that never really was. I guess over the past few weeks I've realized that I stayed so long because I made up who I thought you were in my head and I was hoping you could be him.