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Thread: Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

  1. #1
    Kain1984 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

    Ok. So I was in this "employees gathering" event arranged by the company I work. There was a great number of employees from all over the country.

    So I met this girl (HB8 I would say) there with virtually perfect game. Started convo at the hotel reception que and sat next to her at dinner time.

    The game was literally perfect. Smart lines, witty talk, awesome bantering great responses and the chemistry was so good there was obvious sexual tension because we both enjoyed the conversation at a ridiculous level and had nice IOIs. Hell at every response her smile was getting wider and wider she couldn't believe the conversational chemistry

    At this point I was thinking :"I really need to escalate, make sure I don't drown in rapport"
    By some events twist, a paper ended up in her hands and she was putting tick signs at it. Like marking an exam. So here's the chat that followed and my attempt to introduce some sexual tension

    me: ticking? It seems the teacher inside you is surfacing
    her: indeed I like this one
    me: If you were my teacher I would probably wait to see you with a see through dress in class
    her: You're trying too hard

    I was stunned by this line. Where the hell did it come from? It was a statement not even a question. I'm not sure if that was a shit test but it completely crumbled my confidence and my game went to hell. Next thing you know she was talking to some other guy (lame small talk "where are you from etc" and nothing else) and was treating me disrespectfully as if she figured out my agenda to hit on her and now I'm not worth shit.
    In an attempt to save my face I was talking to other girls (in front of her face as well), but I was so frustrated for losing this one as she was really pretty and I was really into her the way we were bantering.

    At my next visit to talk to her, things got awkward to the bone and she kept bombarding me with shit tests that I didn't have ready answers for because of that crushed confidence. Naturally I didn't talk to her again as I saw the situation fucked up.

    Please I need some advice as I'm so good at bantering and rapport and I have so much trouble sealing the deal. It has happened to me so many times. How should I had handled this one? was it a shit test? what do i respond? Input will be most appreciated

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

    i would say that either you already had the tension level you needed before that comment took things too far, or at some point you just became her "entertainment" what you did justified what she said, you realy were going at it too hard, you needed to cut it back a notch or get in and get out. you likely made it to the comfort stage, but instead of building the comfort you needed you just kept building attraction

  3. #3
    Kain1984 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

    Thank you meteora you're probably right...

    So in this case I should have eased up on the bantering and make some connective conversation? Can you please post a link where I can see the order of the stages (comfort, attraction. etc) and the details for each one

    I have her facebook is there any way to fix this now?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

    yes, you needed to connect with her on an emotional level,
    as for the stages they are detailed in the book "mystery method" by mystery, i don't know if there is a thread about them somewhere on this site or not, but i couldn't seem to be able to find it the stages in order are
    attraction
    a1-open
    a2-female to male interest (you dhv, she gives ioi's)
    a3- male to female interest (you make her work for your ioi's you give her)
    comfort
    c1-conversation (share a friendly dialog, sense of comfort and raport developes)
    c2-connection (mutual attraction, kissing)
    c3-intimacy (kissing gets heavier, attraction and comfort very strong)
    seduction
    s1-foreplay (making out, undressing)
    s2-lmr (deal with last minute resistance
    s3-sex (pretty self explanitory)

    strait from the book
    that's the order things go in,hope this helped

  5. #5
    Kain1984 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

    Indeed it does . Once again I see no matter how much you study and get ready if you don't screw up in the field you don't learn. So much effort and I still have little to no success . Every time i find a new something that i had forgotten to include in my game.

    I wonder why the attraction phase explodes like an inflating balloon if you overdo it. I've done it many times and it always backfires if you don't know when to stop. Wouldn't normally more attraction be a good thing?

  6. #6
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

    If the attraction is directed towards you then no, but if it's directed at her then you could smother her. Being overly attracted can make you appear needy and/or desperate. You have to find the perfect balance. Be assertive and never apologize for being a man!

    Follow meteora's advice it's solid!
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

    yes, i think you are probably giving off ioi's without making her "work" for them, in a3 you should only give out ioi's right after she dhv's to you (as a reward to her for trying to qualifie to you) if you just keep making fun of her and not showing any interest (a problem i sometimes face) then you are punishing her for doing what you need her to be doing your body language probably needs fixed as well, try working on your poker face (playing poker is a great way to learn to hide your body language and read other peoples) or have a friend wing for you and watch your body language the hole time, he should be able to tell you when and how you are telegraphing tooo much interest

  8. #8
    Kain1984 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

    The thing is that so far, everything that feels unnatural has been pithole for my game. The conversation with this girl went extremely well and it had such a natural flow to it that the attraction was very obvious. Demonstrating IOIs from my part was really unnessary and as you said went too far. (she demonstrated solid strong IOIs from her part)

    Now fully natural conversation chemistry doesn't happen very often to most of us

    So on the one hand i have the mindset: "be natural. Don't go after it... go with the natural flow of the conversation and don't think IOIs, qualifications" and blah blah.

    Yes... That works once a year that you have a fully natural connection like I had with this girl... So keeping the "be natural" mentality will get me one girl a year or even less. Not fun...

    On the other hand... Overflowing my head with PUA info... Trying to implement on my conversations... Feeling unnatural and ruined my game with this really pretty girl with awesome convo chemistry. (i.e. good potential for a fantastic relationship)

    A lose lose situation so far.... Where's the golden balance? Will practicing really give me the answer? Had plenty of fails and awkward situations so far

  9. #9
    Kain1984 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

    Have you guys ever screamed "AAARRRGGHHH!" at the top of your head? :P

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Screwed up mid game with coworker, Feedback needed

    pua can be frustrating at times, especialy when you don't know what realy went wrong with experience eventualy using this stuff will just be a part of your "natural" convorsation, but it takes thousands of approaches to get that way, i'm working on getting there myself and things haven't always been easy for me, so don't feel bad, we all make mistakes and its just part of the learning experiences that are nessisary to get good


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