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  1. #1
    PoPeYe is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default failure from last night, need some advice

    I went to a club last night, and approached some girls. I believe i messed up big time,

    So i did some openers like "What nationality are you?", "Do you know why you suck?" and "What do you think tattoos on girls" Then i just didn't know where to go after that, so i exchanged names and asked them if they wanted to dance with me, most of the girls said no. There's only one girl went dancing with me, we talked a little bit during dancing and I tried to isolate her by taking her to a sofa but she just shakes her head and walked away.... ...

    I now have the courage to approach, but still feels nervous just talking to them, I just forget everything in my head once i my openers (so i tried get drunk before opening sets but that did turn out well)...

    I'm new and really want your advice on this, thank you so much

  2. #2
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: failure from last night, need some advice

    Well Mr. Sailorman I think you need some spinach!(just kidding)

    Okay so you need to keep the conversation going!Practice starting conversations and talking every one, conversate for the sake of conversation.

    When it comes to openers have 3 more that way you can stack them if the conversation begins to die down. Be animated and playful. Work on your confidence more. Great job on eliminating AA.

    Keep the drinking to a minimal you want to be coherent for anything she may throw your way.

    Lastly don't let it get to you everyone starts somewhere!
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  3. #3
    swaggerlee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: failure from last night, need some advice

    First of all, congrats on sacking up and making a decision to start approaching girls! Very few guys do this so in my opinion you are already more alpha than most.

    Definitely work on conversation skills. Just talk and don't think it needs to be special or amazing all the time. Just talk. I recommend some improv classes to help unstifle your brain and get the creative juices flowing that are necessary for good verbal game.

    More than anything, just keep at it! I've been in the game for years and still have bad nights!

    Btw popeye, we're all scared.

    haha
    hope this helps amigo!

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: failure from last night, need some advice

    the issue with openers is that you aren't looking to be genuine and if they can smell the disingenuousness in it don't expect them to want to continue to talk to you.

    if you are going to use openers then i highly suggest you take a look at or study up on some active listening. look for the nouns she gives you, poke and prod her mind. change subjects based upon what shes saying. get interested in her response. don't focus so much on opening or getting the conversation going if you want to connect with them. you need to keep yourself interested more than keeping her interested.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: failure from last night, need some advice

    Openers are OK but they are not that important ....I've opened lots of girls with a good smile and a simple "HI" ..... The point is, don't get hung up on canned openers and routines .... become an interesting person who can talk about lots of subjects in an entertaining way. So you went out, you approached some girls, you danced,talked a little ..... that's a decent night, the important thing is you were able to approach and that's a huge first step. Keep it up, keep practicing talking and telling stories and you'll get more comfortable with it .....Good Luck

  6. #6
    Naughty Napoleon's Avatar
    Naughty Napoleon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: failure from last night, need some advice

    You didn't failed at anything popeye. You take a huge step to improve youself.
    Pickup is really an asymmetric game, you had to embrace a lot of little lose to get a Big gain, just like black swam event.

    Now back to your conversation after open... You can go into small talk with her there: ask her where she's from (or guess where she's from), ask her things (ear ring, dress..) about her....

    And from there you can dig deeper about her and offer more details about you.

    I learned my conversation skills from a seduction book named - Sex Beast The Awaken by Diophantus Grey.

    Since then I never worry about what to talk to girls, not even story or anything, the women will do the talking, I just reply to her occassionaly.

    Check that book out if you intend to push your conversation skills to a whole new level.

    Hope this help,
    Naughty Napoleon

  7. #7
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: failure from last night, need some advice

    Openners are great but your next few questions or statements are about fishing for clues for your next subject. Recently I tend to open with "Hey, my buddies and I are from out of town, you know any good places to go etc etc". Already started fishing for a place she might want to go. Then ask her about the music in the place then ask her so is that the kind of music she likes to which we can talk about music. I could ask her about the atmosphere in the venue she suggested just so I know what she's into and I can branch out into conversations about crazy parties or the moon landing. You can juggle between subjects and pop a few jokes about her choices and keep it flirty, cocky and funny.

  8. #8
    JackSarge's Avatar
    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: failure from last night, need some advice

    No, no, no openers are where it is at. That's what I strive on. If I fail the open I will not properly engage the target and they will not close right. Everytime my openers are calibrated and dynamic I am pulling numbers like candy.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack


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