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Thread: living with ex. wanting to work it out.

  1. #1
    motoxracer801 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default living with ex. wanting to work it out.

    Hey everyone. I'm new here figured you guys could give me some help on the questions I have. I've been with my girl for about a month. We have been talking and dating around 3 months. I recently moved in with her. I know way to soon. Well we don't talk much about problems. Today she broke up with me saying we were two different people but she likes me as a person. That I could stay here not a problem. But then at the end of all the breaking up and seriousness, manages to joke with me about some past stuff. I asked her if we could work this out and at first said no during the break up. But after all the joking and stuff suggested it again and she said look, I don't want to be official with you but if we do try I want to start from step one. As she left for the day, I jokingly made a comment saying "so does this mean I don't get to kiss you anymore"? She laughed said bye. So I said "well sh1t, you know I can't live without those"! She opens the door laughing again. I could see the contemplation in her eye. Not knowing what she really wanted to do. So I walked to her where we gave a small peck. Well then I said that's it? And started playfully kissing her everywhere. I even kissed on her boobs. She laughed about it commented that she really had to go. (going to her parents like she does every Sunday) so then I said okay. We gave each other a real kiss and went our separate ways. So I don't get what's on her mind. She is really laid back and cool. But I don't know what to do. I want to be with her. I want to make things work but what route should I choose to make that happen? I guess that I should add that the whole reason that we split is because I'm always bitching about something stupid and irrelevant. I look way to deep into sh1t that I shouldn't. I over analyze everything. Also this is another thing I don't get. This may come when she gets the chance but her facebook still says in a relationship. Also she just came through the door. Actually while I was typing this. I didn't say much to her. She's got guy friends which I don't much care. Well some called her up and invited her out for drinks. Well usually she would invite me. Not this time. She just walked by and said I'll see you later. I responded. "Later" trying not to let her see that it makes me wanna beat someone down. I've been frustrated all day about this sh1t. I know I am a grade "a" pussy right now but I really like this girl. What do I got to do to get this back on the right track? I read the "getting your ex back" thing but it kinda doesnt work for me because I live with her. What do I do to put the pants back on and get us back on track? Thanks

  2. #2
    The Elitist's Avatar
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    Default Re: living with ex. wanting to work it out.

    My serious advice, and you don't have to take it, and you probably won't;

    Stop.

    1. It's not emotionally healthy.
    2. Work on improving yourself. You know what tests you've failed so study up on the subject and do better next time.
    3. After you've improved yourself, she'll be more inclined to give it another go.

  3. #3
    motoxracer801 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: living with ex. wanting to work it out.

    Funny thing is that I've known that's exactly what i should do is just "stop". If I can actually convince myself to do that do I just walk away? Move out? I feel like deep in her heart there's still something there. And well, that's what keeps me here. Dumb, I know.

  4. #4
    ByTheBooks is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: living with ex. wanting to work it out.

    I'm in a similar situation. Financial obligations and lack of money have left me stuck with my ex for over a year since we broke up. And at first, I thought like you did, but I eventually realized I only wanted to be back with her because it was the easy way out. I didn't love her and I didn't want to be with her.

    We haven't gotten back together, and I'm here now, learning new techniques and principles that I can hopefully use to improve my game and finally find someone new. I refuse to let my living situation control my life. And I'm not sure if my case is the same as yours, but it sounds like you might need the same thing.

    In any case, kindred spirits and such.

  5. #5
    The Elitist's Avatar
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    Default Re: living with ex. wanting to work it out.

    Quote Originally Posted by motoxracer801 View Post
    Funny thing is that I've known that's exactly what i should do is just "stop". If I can actually convince myself to do that do I just walk away? Move out? I feel like deep in her heart there's still something there. And well, that's what keeps me here. Dumb, I know.
    Yea, I know what you mean man. I would recommend you should move out, if you can't afford that, then just ignore is the best way to go until you can. Don't show her that you NEED her, because in all reality you don't.

  6. #6
    hyp
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    Default Re: living with ex. wanting to work it out.

    she sounds like she just wants friends with benefits, otherwise she would've told u to move out cause dating unofficially is a load of wank, if she wanted to be with you, she would still be officially

    listen to these guys, that's why they're here offering advice (y)

    also how about bringing a chick friend of yours just to chill with u at her place, i'm pretty sure she'd see your having fun and don't necessarily need her...and then you can read her to see if she gets jealous or not (y) just a thought

  7. #7
    The Elitist's Avatar
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    Default Re: living with ex. wanting to work it out.

    Quote Originally Posted by hyp View Post
    also how about bringing a chick friend of yours just to chill with u at her place, i'm pretty sure she'd see your having fun and don't necessarily need her...and then you can read her to see if she gets jealous or not (y) just a thought
    That's slightly dangerous, in a very good way. I second this notion!

  8. #8
    hyp
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    Default Re: living with ex. wanting to work it out.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Elitist View Post
    That's slightly dangerous, in a very good way. I second this notion!
    it's very dangerous cause she'll think about how some other chick is threatening her chance with our man here, i'd atleast make sure your chick friend knew the situation beforehand and your intentions (possibly strike a deal with her ) it reduces her feeling used, or maybe she'll be good and willingly help

  9. #9
    The Elitist's Avatar
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    Default Re: living with ex. wanting to work it out.

    Quote Originally Posted by hyp View Post
    it's very dangerous cause she'll think about how some other chick is threatening her chance with our man here, i'd atleast make sure your chick friend knew the situation beforehand and your intentions (possibly strike a deal with her ) it reduces her feeling used, or maybe she'll be good and willingly help
    LOL Yea, definitely make sure she knows. This way when the lamp comes flying across the room... LOLJK that won't happen. Trust.

  10. #10
    motoxracer801 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: living with ex. wanting to work it out.

    Lol. I've thought of that also. Maybe getting a hottie or two to come around. Here's myissue with that idea though. When she retaliates by doing the same I'm not sure how my temper will hold up. To be honest. I think I could keep it on the cool and not let her know it bothered me at all. But if she took it to far just to make a point.. well, me or the guy has an ass whoopin coming. Lol


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