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Thread: How often to contact girl that lives in Montreal (I am in NYC) ?

  1. #1
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default How often to contact girl that lives in Montreal (I am in NYC) ?

    I've mentioned on here the French Canadian HB 8.5 I hooked up with a couple months back. I had never brought a girl home the same night as meeting her, so it was a cool experience for me. Add in that she was leaps and bounds hotter than the girls I've been getting lately, so it was definitely a good time.

    Here's the thing - She lives in Montreal, which is pretty far away from where I live (NYC). She makes the trip to New York occasionally, but won't be back until late December. We still talk every so often, with her and I initiating the conversation about equally. The last time we spoke she IMed me to see if I was doing alright during the hurricane. We got to talking about her visiting, and she said she definitely wanted to meet up again.

    I know that nothing serious will come of this, but I'd like to see her again, and stay in a bit of contact. This girl is really gorgeous, and I've only contacted her when I felt super good and confident about myself - I don't want any beta slipping into the conversation. So far I've limited myself to once a week or once every 2 weeks.

    So the question is, how often should I start up a conversation? More often than I am now? Less often? Let her initiate first? Should I try and escalate things next time we speak, or be the man of few words and keep myself mysterious?

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    Default Re: How often to contact?

    talk to her when you feel like it, if she initiates a convo then talk to her, but like i said otherwise just text her when your feeling up to par. don't anoy her by telling her good morning and good night every day (you get the idea) just as long as you aren't needy texting, you'll be fine. if what your doing now works, then stick with it!!!!

  3. #3
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How often to contact?

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    talk to her when you feel like it, if she initiates a convo then talk to her, but like i said otherwise just text her when your feeling up to par. don't anoy her by telling her good morning and good night every day (you get the idea) just as long as you aren't needy texting, you'll be fine. if what your doing now works, then stick with it!!!!
    Alright, works for me. I agree that either extreme is no good - Texting too much is needy, texting too little shows that I don't care.

    Here's another little method I use to gauge when to talk to her. We're friends on Facebook, and she likes and comments on a lot of my statuses. If she leaves a comment that I think can be expanded upon, I send her an IM. While I am initiating the IM, I like to think that she initiated the conversation by leaving the comment and getting the ball rolling. So far she's liked/commented on far more things on my FB than I have on hers.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How often to contact girl that lives in Montreal (I am in NYC) ?

    Also, another question - I won't see her again until late December. I'm sure it's a given that I should be escalating things. Should I take it slower, or up the pace? As of now our last conversation felt a lot like small talk. It's just hard to keep things going with someone you hardly know.

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    Default Re: How often to contact girl that lives in Montreal (I am in NYC) ?

    try to be flirty and if you don't know her you can use some cold reads (i bet you are the kinda girl that......) or ( i suspect that you.......) when you use cold reads just make sure that they are general things that could likely aply to her (nothing to emotional or sexual) be sure to incorporate some dhv's into some of your texts (things you've done since the last time you texted her,ect....) just try to maintain the level of attraction you already have so that you can build on it next time you see her in person.

  6. #6
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How often to contact girl that lives in Montreal (I am in NYC) ?

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    try to be flirty and if you don't know her you can use some cold reads (i bet you are the kinda girl that......) or ( i suspect that you.......) when you use cold reads just make sure that they are general things that could likely aply to her (nothing to emotional or sexual) be sure to incorporate some dhv's into some of your texts (things you've done since the last time you texted her,ect....) just try to maintain the level of attraction you already have so that you can build on it next time you see her in person.
    Alright, that works for me. Someone on here said that since I already slept with her that I'm already high-status, but I know I have to keep at it to maintain this status in her mind.

    She always checks out the bar I met her at, which I try and go to once a week. The staff knows me there, and usually every time I see the owner he buys me a drink. I'm thinking of using that for some DHV - I've heard that since bartenders and owners of a bar are high-status in that setting, it raises your status to be cool with them.

    Cold reads are great, too. Asking questions can feel too much like an interview, so making a broad statement and getting her to speak on that is a way to learn more about her and move the conversation forward organically.

    She also mentioned that she thought myself and the friend I was with were fun. So I try and be a bit silly in my conversations. I live near a cemetery, and walking back from the bar we passed it and I told her about it. She mentioned it once and said something about how she's not afraid of ghosts. So a few days later I told her I was walking by it, and saw a ghost who told me he's looking to eat a French Canadian girl. It was so dumb, but we goofed on that for a bit. I brought it up again a while later, saying the ghost is getting angry because I haven't brought him a French Canadian girl yet, but I didn't dwell on it after that.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: How often to contact girl that lives in Montreal (I am in NYC) ?

    if you've been with her before, then it should be alot easier to get some again (as long as you left that relationship on good terms). i would use the bar thing to get some mad social proof. take her out to the bar for drinks and be sure to say hi to everyone you know who works there. getting a free drink from the owner would be cool, but on the other hand he might join the two of you and possibly cockblock just focus on kino escalation and countinue the good flirting. you seem to have this girl hooked, the ioi's are there so you should be able to take this girl home after a fun night at the bar

  8. #8
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How often to contact girl that lives in Montreal (I am in NYC) ?

    So she IMed me tonight again after commenting on a FB status. It just said "PB&J with the crusts cut off." She responded "Ew!" and then commented again saying I should have this snack I introduced to her when she first stayed over.

    She then IM's me. This is the full convo:

    Her: So, Will you let me know of any good nye parties!?

    Me: i'll have to think about it. all the parties i know of are for people who like PB&J

    you ever been to nyc for new years?

    Her: Non

    Me: poundcake EVERYWHERE

    Her: Haha

    One thing I always try and do in any text/IM conversation is be the one who talks less. It shows aloofness, and I go by Roissy's 2/3 rule (Take however much she talks or texts and say 2/3 the amount of what she says). But this girl is so quiet when we IM. She gives a lot of one word answers, or short sentences. Sometimes she moves it along, but most of the time I feel I have to keep it going. It's really hard to escalate things because her brevity in IMs makes it seem like she's uninterested, and I don't want to appear too clingy. I also wonder if there's a language barrier here. She grew up speaking French, and has only been speaking English a few years. She speaks well in person, but I wonder if it's still difficult to express herself in English. A lot of times she'll respond in French because it's easier for her.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: How often to contact girl that lives in Montreal (I am in NYC) ?

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-text-gi...nal-bible.html
    if she is giving you short answers its because your not getting her involved enough in the convo, try rewording some of your statements into questions. get her involved! the whole 2/3 thing is just bs, text her as many words as you choose, as long as it meets the 160 charactor limit

  10. #10
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How often to contact girl that lives in Montreal (I am in NYC) ?

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-text-gi...nal-bible.html
    if she is giving you short answers its because your not getting her involved enough in the convo, try rewording some of your statements into questions. get her involved! the whole 2/3 thing is just bs, text her as many words as you choose, as long as it meets the 160 charactor limit
    Great advice. Girls love talking about themselves, so it's a great way to get the conversation moving. If she gets high-and-mighty or sounds ridiculous, it's also a great way to throw some negs in. Maybe she'll get interested and ask a few questions, as well.


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