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  1. #1
    andybmuzik is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default need help with this girl that i have been seeing

    Hello Im new to PUA FORUMS...

    Here's my story....

    Ive met a girl at my work and I have been talking to her at work for about 6 months but we never hung out..on September 22nd we both have been invited to a friends wedding from work also..so at the wedding we both were seated at the same table..we both have been talking all night taking pictures and having fun..towards the end of the night she ended up leaving with me and went back to her place cuddled and went to sleep..after that day we have been texting non stop..went to dinner..movies..out for drinks etc. I would make plans with her to hang out, make some food and have a movie night and then end up sleeping over..as time passed we would cuddle..kiss..hold hands every were we go..about 2 weeks after the wedding i went to her house because I wanted to talk with her about us like were we stand..she told me that she likes me and i am nice guy but at the time is not looking for a relationship because she was in for 6 years with a guy that treated her like shit..and also told me that what ever happened's...happene d's. so i went along with it, so we have been hanging out for about a month and a half now..and her and her friend wanted to go out with them on halloween to grab some drinks..we ended up going to 3 bars and at the last bar we were having drinks and we were kissing and holding each other..after a few min. go by i see this guy looking at her non stop so she and her friend go to dance and on the way back from the dance floor she stops and talks to this guy..so im thinking nothing of it after about 15 min i turn around and she is making out with him and them grabs his hand and they both walk out of the bar a disappear for about 20min..and that hurt me so bad what she had done because she did this in front of me and diden't even care..so after that incident we haven't texted each other for 2 days and i was doing alot of thinking so i sent her a text message basically saying that..what she did really hurt me and that we should stop seeing each other for a while and that i felt like i was being lead on and walked all over and i don't deserve it..and she replys back saying...that she knows what she did was wrong and that she wasent thinking of what she was doing and that was sorry for hurting and basically said that no more sleep overs and that we cut certain things out and hang out to a minimum..so now i dont know what to do with this situation ive done nothing wrong to her and have never hurt her in anyway..last time i have heard from her was 2 days ago..should i just slowly back away from all this or what?

  2. #2
    Padda is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with this girl that i have been seeing

    Hey man

    Looks to me like you gave her all the power. you were being beta when you asked her where you guys stand. I take it you became too available for her and every time she wanted to meet up with you, you went along with it. basically you want her to chase you. you should bee the prize and you decide if she good enough for you.

    Once you gave her all the power she could do what she wanted and that's why she kissed that guy and didn't think of you because you weren't high value in her eyes. The text you sent saying "you were hurt" was beta. you shouldn't have contacted her about.

    All you can do now it go into No contact and freeze her out. Go out with other girls and have fun.

    Padda

  3. #3
    andybmuzik is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with this girl that i have been seeing

    Thanks man for the advice and help...im not the first nor the last..just feel sorry for the next guy to come along and have fun with her

  4. #4
    andybmuzik is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with this girl that i have been seeing

    Is there anyway for me to get the power back on my hands or basically im screwed

  5. #5
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    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need help with this girl that i have been seeing

    As pua's one of the first things we learn is not to give all the power to the girl and always maintain an alpha persona. My suggestion to you is start reading alpha rules by Carlos Xuma very good reading to help you with your inner game because right now it's not to tight! NC is the way to go even at work, and don't let her know that this situation has cut your b#lls to the core. Also start dating other women using the technique on this site and other resources, and if she wants to get back together with you tap that a#s one good time and continue to rock!

  6. #6
    Padda is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with this girl that i have been seeing

    Quote Originally Posted by andybmuzik View Post
    Is there anyway for me to get the power back on my hands or basically im screwed
    Freeze her out but at work but if she starts a conversion then talk her but keep it short. Have fun at work aswell talk to other people. Show her that your not affected by what she did. Smile like all the time. Let her chase you.

    Padda

  7. #7
    Mr White is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with this girl that i have been seeing

    What I can smell from your post is, that this girl is either a play girl (30% chances) or your were a kind of rebound to her (70% chances). I'll suggest you to polish your skill to understand when you are being played by a girl.. <= this advice is for you to stay safe next time.

    Now coming on to a probable solution to your current girl ( in case you wish to get her back ) then go through the book " how to get your ex back by matt Hudson, it will help u learn ways to get back with this girl. But also read a little about how to train your girlfriend before you approach this girl back.
    Wish U luck.

    In case U Want further assistance, just keep this thread up to date with your progression.

  8. #8
    andybmuzik is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with this girl that i have been seeing

    We talk now as friends and thats what we were all along..i havent hung out with her for a whole week just texted each other..if i want it to be like a FWB thing next time we hang out like watch a movie or something should i just pull the first move like bring her closer to me to cuddle and then kiss her or just not do anything? With this change her view towards me?

  9. #9
    topgunningit's Avatar
    topgunningit is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need help with this girl that i have been seeing

    You are her friend, you should be taking a deep sigh of relief because you have nothing to worry about now.

    From this relationship you should: Use her as training camp - test your 'PUA' game; Use her as a pivot - get social proof and pull other girls; Gain insight about women; and finally build your inner frame.
    ------------------------------------


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